Ok so I have noticed that there is a trend in the PUA community and that is people thinking they need to be an ass hole or "bad boy" in order to get or keep a women....this is wrong on so many levels! in fact people who say you cant be a "nice guy" are wrong! women like nice guys...what they dont like is a push over.

Here is what you need to understand:

Women want a man...in other words they want self-confidence, the right touch of manliness, and passion! why do they fall for the "bad boy"? because Bad boys radiate manliness and self-confidence! will being a bad boy get you the girl? yes it prob will but will it help you keep her, make your relationship strong, make her trust you, make you both happy, and keep her faithful? no not at all...in fact most of the women who date the "bad boys" are the same women who cheat on their boyfriens because they are not happy with their relationships.

what you need to do:

You need to treat your women with respect! you need to be a "nice guy" and treat her like gold! but...like the bad boy you need to be a bit of a challenge...this doesnt mean be a dick and sleep with her best friend or call her an ugly whore and ignore her for a week...what it means is go have a life, have hobbies and show her that although you love her your world does not revolve around her and if she was to break up with you it wouldnt matter...you would still have a life. You need to be independent, unpredictable, exciting, and be the man in the relationship! Also Self-confidence (which is 90% of what is going to attract her and keep her) comes from being your self and expressing how you feel no matter what! Men with self confedence dont care what people think, men with self confedence buy their women flower and take them to dinner or wright their women a poem because that is what they want to do but at the same time they stand up to their women because it is also what they want to do....the diffrence beetween a nice guy who is a push over and a nice guy who is a man is that the nice guy who is a push over treat his women like gold but for the wrong reasons! The nice guy who is a "man" treats his women like gold but does it for all the right reasons and at all the right times.

Stop acting like an "ass hole", stop acting like a push over and start being a "man"

Last I would like to say dont ever treat your gf or wife poorly! you should never be a dick! you can be stern but at no time should you be an asshole...its imature, selfish, and abuse....men stay calm and deal with problems in a mature way.

I like this. It's something I have been thinking about for a while - and from there concluded the very same as you (didn't think about making a thread about it though lol). Hopefully, this will change some peoples' perspectives about the difference between the early game and late game/relationship transition.

Good post.

Agreed. The bad boy is good at pick ups but the nice guy also has the relationships down.

awesome

Oh my god, I needed this one. Thanks

Interesting and timely. I've been having a discussion with a PUA about the difference between a "Nice Guy" and a "Good Guy". A good guy has all of the positive characteristics of a nice guy--thoughtful, affectionate, considerate, without being a doormat. He also has all the good characteristics of a "Bad Boy": confidence, a little cocky, independence, lack of neediness, without being inconsiderate, not a man of his word, or just plain mean. Take the best of Nice and Bad and you get... Good. High value, the kind of person a woman will be attracted to and want to invest in.

i agree .... however i want to share my own opinion.

don't be an asshole but don't be a man either... just be flexible.

like bruce lee said ... be like water - water can change into any form.

be formless .... there will be moments where you need to be an asshole.. moments where you need to be understanding and you have moments where you should watch from the sideline to not escalate things - not very alpha but sometimes it rewards you.

however you should treat you GF with respect, why would she be with you if you don't respect he r?

i never say sorry ..... i always say '' oh i didn't mean to cross your boundaries''

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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I think it is important to show your gf you love her...being cold will make her resent you with time. No relationship should be built on a foundation of lies or she will either cheat or leave you for a guy who does treat her well.

Women want a guy who buys them flowers, cuddles with them, talks to them about their problems ect ect.....you just have to learn to have balance and she wont take advantage of you. The ket IMO is push pull...it allows her to do things for you....you reward her when she is being loving and pull away when she is not.

Example:

My gf kisses me and tells me how good I look, or gets me a beer from the fridge....I then cuddle up to her, kiss her, and let her know how much I love her.

Your gf is starting to take advantage of you (shes not as loving and more moody) You stop bringing her flowers, you dont cuddle as much ect ect....she will then start to lear that she will only get what she wants when she treats you with respect and is loving.

i don't buy flowers .,.. that's so not-original

yeah you have to invest .... my new GF is investing more in me than im investing in her.

she wants me to say that i think about her etc, it's not the materials you give it's the mindset you show to her - you have to give her acces to some positive thoughts and your ok.
'

true ... that's why i don't defend when she attacks , i just hang up the phone and tell her i got important things to do.

most guys are putting up a defense and argue ... you are still giving her attention but in a wrong way. by not defending and not giving a shit you don't give her attention at all.

woman are like children sometimes if they scream against you and you accept it they will do it more often.
Reward positive behaviour
punish negative behaviour buy not giving attention in any form

guys don't show their rules to their GF's , their GF's dont know so they take your arm instead of your finger.
i tell girls that i always hang up the phone or walk away and ignore when a girl is bragging or argueing with me.

99 % of the girls will say '' i hate it when BFs do that.'' and the fun thing is girls never do the same to you. they want to argue and vent their emotions while men are the opposite.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I'm never an arse to women, nor do i put up with second rate behaviour. Once i'm in a relationship, i reckon i draw the line just right.
My main dilemma is i kinda use the bad boy image a bit to pick up women but it only tends to pick up women that are messed up in the head.
I recently read something similar in a womens mag that the "treat them mean, keep them keen" (although i don't treat them mean, was the closest thing i read that i can relate with) thing only attracts women with problems. But i've been doing it so long, it kinda a part of my personality now.

yeah it's very true ... this bad-boy image tends to get you girls who are screwed in the head, i totally agree. weird thing is that some girls want to be treated badly.

well if you act like your messed in the head ... guess what you attract other people that are messed in the head.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526