i've never felt confused like this ... it started last saturday when i met with this girl in which on the same night we kissed each other for the whole night and we exchanged phone numbers too to meet again the next day ... but after this there is a little bit complicated story ..
the problem is that this girl was in a relationship just 2 weeks ago and now is just single again.. another thing is that about 3 weeks ago while her boyfriend was abroad she get out with my best friend and last saturday when she met again with my best friend while we were partying in a night club he (my best friend) just like try to ignore her after he had another girl with him and he wasn't much interested to complete dating with her ...
after we went to another club we just met again and it was here where the story has begun ... we just met with each other the first time here and i don't know how to exactly describe this moment how we start to dance with each other and kissed each other since it just happened in just few seconds ...
at first i really felt like to be unfair on my friend since she gets out with him before but i speaked to him that night and he told to don't worry about that and it's like i made him a favour since he wasn't much interested in her...

that day after we left the night club we went to a quite place and just stayed there for about 1 and a half hour talking and asking several questions such as why she get out with me ... at that moment i was confused that she get out with me to show my best friend that isn't worring although he ignore her cause he has another girl with him, it's like she used me ... but she with an honestly voice told me that she didn't do that for that reason ... anyway after some things which happend after that night we exchanged our mobile number to just meet again tomorrow ... in fact tomorrow we get out again and it was another good night ...

after sunday we just complete talking on msn till now and the problem is here ... this is my first time that i really get mad on a girl and i'm really confused what can i do to start a relationship ... but i don't want to start a relationship in just few days since still i have many thoughts in my mind such as like this girl cheated on her boyfriend while he was abroad, cheated with my best friend since she get out with me although my best friend was not interested anymore and the last thing is that she has been single again about 2 weeks ago and in my opinion 2 weeks are quite few ...

my question is if i decide to start a relationship with this girl how should i ask her ... i don't know how, i've never been in a relationship before so i'm very anxious about certain things .. even more than this i don't consider myself as a talkitive person although this week we really talked with each other on msn about several things like about her school, her hobbies and just normal usuall things .. but i'm feeling that i'm not increasing the attraction and comfort with her ... although she showed me indications of interest ...

can anyone help me out about this ?? how to be more talkitive and i'm doing good at the moment just talking with her on several things ?? how should i switch from talking like this to some personal subjects about the realtionships and so on .... and another thing is that i don't want to show her that she is everything for me, i want to show her some higher values by ignore her and don't talk to her to see if she talks to me but on the same time i start to be afraid that i'm going to loose her ...

any help guys please i really want to reach my objective from this first experience ... appreciate if you can help me out ..

thanks
Tomoya

Okay bro your post is pretty confusing but I will do my best to help out here it goes:

You shouldnt talk to her on MSN much, meet with her in person, else you're gonna run out of things to talk about to her when you're together (i mean you already said you're not really a talkative person so). Say hi to her every now and then and tell her you are busy so you're leaving, don't talk to her for too long.

Invite her over to your place or go out for a drink, see how natural the conversations go and how it feels. You like her, but maybe you two aren't that good for eachother...you will only find out by being with her in person, not by being on msn!

The fact that she cheated 2 times (sort of) is something you should be wary of, it may mean that she is not that faithful, but then again it could be something that just happened those times and never before. Just be cautious.

You sound like you're really into this girl and I know you want to show her this but if you come on too strong she will be turned off, so play it 'cool' but not too cool, you know what I mean?

Just get together with her soon and see how things go, see if there is any attraction going on you can always build it by doing triangular gazing and lots of kino..

Best of luck bro,

Chillburg.

i don't have very good eyes and it's hard to read for me when you don't place enough space between sentences .. il just pickout the important stuff
uh..oh .... that isn't good news bro .... im currently with a girl who did cheat once on her ex-BF.

im really thinking of waiting it out a bit ... im going to meet her friends and see what they are like - i also gonna listen to what they say over time ( easy when they are drunk ) just analyzing her surroundings.

dumping a girl because she has a bad history is not very realistic , BECAUSE it's history and that doesn't mean she hasn't changed. People can change and i think you should give them a chance.

on the otherside ... a girl who has cheated 2 times is prone doing it again... she don't give a damn about peoples feelings.

first time is regret ... but the second time ... i don't know man
totally true .... even a month could not be enough... you should be watching for red flags.

-Does she ignores you sometimes in public settings ?
-IS she very sexual .... does she take the first steps and escalate
-Does she wants to have sex in a short period
-She had alot of boyfriends
-She cheated
-HIstory of using people ... especially for sex
-Very flirty with other guys
-She goes out ... ALOT.. like 3 or 4 times a week


and many more

watch for certain signs ... if she really is trying to not look slutty in conversations ( while you are talking or asking questions) she is covering it up. this is so fucking true and it applies to all girls.
if you got nothing to hide you won't defend, of course they are afraid you think they are slutty.


cheating is the biggest red flag ... i mean 2 times .... it's like 2 red flags on the fucking himalaya mountain.

be keen and sharp and look for signs .... don't commit to her - first get to know her

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hey thanks guys for your help ...
can you explain me more what you want to mean by being cool ... and how ??

since, it's like i don't want to show much interest in her, i want her to show me that to make sure that she really wants me ...

for example it's the weekend, i don't want to send her a message to meet up, i wish that she will send me but on the other hand i really be afraid that i will loose her ...

what should i do in this situation ?

i wonder what you did this weekend, did you text her? i didnt have time to go on the forum so a little late for my response but here it goes:

find something that you two can go and do and make it seem as if you're going there anyway, whether she's coming with you or not, so that if she flakes on you, you can brush it off like its no big deal

no i didn't text her since i was out of mobile battery ... even her she didn't text me ...

we went to the same place in the weekend since here where i live everyone will go to this place in the weekend but unfortunately we didn't meet ... i was told from my friend that she get out with another guy but i don't know if i should believe him or not since then sunday she messaged me first on msn and we kept talking the whole day with each other ...

i'm really confused what to do in this situation ... i don't want to show her that i'm very interested in her and that i don't want to loose her but on the other hand i'm really getting afraid that i'm going to loose her and she will find another one ...

help pls!!

I don't like it.. I don't like the mix signals and the integrity so far in this woman.. I'm not trashing her but if you are confuse then probably there is no attraction from her.

I'm confuse with the post.. You just met her but you say your in your first relationship? I need to read your post again..

Here what I would do to "bottom line" the situation.


Call her this Thur for a coffee date on Sunday afternoon and then,

YOU: Hey, I'll be at Starbucks(or any coffee shop that's cool) on Sun.. Come meet me at 7pm.

(SHUT UP and listen to what she says)

HER: "No I can't but maybe next time " or she says "I have to do this or that or this or that blah blah blah " drop her.. Trust me.. It's not worth your time and the headache..


but but but if she says

HER: "ok i'll be there" or "I can't make it at that time but can we do it at 8? or Monday at ?(it's called a counter offer)... If she likes you she would help you pick another time..



My friend, get the SYSTEM by DOC LOVE.. I know some people make fun of him but situations like this is where the book shines..


BTW, do you want to have a relationship with her or just casual sex? My advice was to see if she has interest level..

_________________
She can't help it.

If you don't do this she can drag you for a few weeks of sleepless nights ..


Thoughts?

_________________
She can't help it.