Met and easily picked up this girl a couple weeks ago. She lives an hour outside the city but quickly felt comfortable enough with me that we then hopped to a few other places while I took her on a whirlwind around the city. Regular phone and text contact afterward. Last Sunday we had plans but she ended up having to work really late. Kept the plans, and after work she went home, changed, drove an hour to meet me here at 11p (on a Sunday!), we hopped around till the bars closed at 2, then she drove an hour back home. That night we made plans for yesterday, and she again drove an hour here to hang.

I haven't k-closed. I can't figure out why. Last Sunday, we hung at her car talking for half an hour and I think she was waiting for it. I don't say dirty things to her nearly as much as I do with any other girl, and I didn't even realize that till this week. She knows I'm straight, she asks lots of questions about my past relationships and gives out lots of information about what she expects from a guy and ways guys in the past have mistaken her (for instance, "Everyone thinks I'm a nice girl"), she shows lots of cleavage and bends over often, returns every text/call, handily dismisses other guys who hit on her when we're together, and always comes back to me when we get separated. And, again, she drives an hour every time we hang. I'm operating under the fairly positive understanding that this girl is very interested.

I use kino, but I've realized I'm not using it enough. She seems okay with any kind of touching, but when I tried doing several things last night that required hand-holding, she seemed uncomfortable; her hands didn't respond well to mine, and she quickly took hers back each time. But any other touching was fine, and she was clearly very much at ease with me the whole evening. She confessed early on that she's hard to get to know, doesn't give out information easily, and is "a tough nut to crack," but later on found herself spilling several personal stories and went, "Wow, why am I telling you all this?" so even she was surprised. I intended to k-close when I walked her to her car, but she went for a very quick hug and turned her head before I even had the opportunity.

Have I been friend-boxed? Am I simply stuck in Comfort because I didn't step up soon enough? I don't feel like she'd repeatedly extend this much effort (and this many times in a fairly short period) for someone who was just a friend, but at the same time, something's not completely right here.

I almost never have trouble quickly and strongly establishing attraction and getting things moving. Unlike all the other girls I date, this is the first one who actually seems like relationship material, and I think maybe that's throwing me off here. Even if she doesn't end up wanting a relationship, though, she seems like the kind who might be really down for a friends-with-benefits setup, but I'm screwing up my own game somehow.

How do I re-establish myself to her as a romantic and sexual presence? I believe it's doable, I'm just not seeing the path.

She is interested man. From the sounds of it you've got her. If she's not interested and just cock-teasing, either call her on her shit or drop her. You don't need that shit. I've been in this situation too many times and I matured enough to realize I didn't need a cock-tease.

But let's operate under the assumption she does want you. Are you looking for a fun time or a relationship? It seems that you're in this to win her heart, not just get into her panties. That's good man, you remind me of myself.

Now a lot of the guys on here will say you've got one-itis. So what!? You like this girl, what's the problem with that? Have you tried telling her you dig her but in a cocky-funny-flirty way? Just try some "I know you want me" kind of comments, but please don't use those words unless you really know it's the right moment. "I know you want me" can be the worst line ever if not used right.
I often acknowledge the signals she's sending or the methods she's using but in a playful manner, and pretend she's trying too hard to seduce me. Calling her on her seductive methods can work. She'll admit and you can get flirty.

Now I'm thinking that you did wait too long to escalate. It's something I have done too many times and am still learning to do it in a timely fashion. Hell, I just lost a dream girl partially due to lack of escalation.

Try this: Go back and insta-game. Lay it on but know your limits. If you're coming on too strong with one method or routine, pull back and try something else. If she gets uncomfortable, freeze her out. If I understand your relationship, she's keep coming back.

And if you're feeling it, KISS HER!

Or you could just ask her what's going on. Sometimes you just have to stop playing games and cut the shit.

Nah, she's not being a cocktease. While she is responsive to flirting, she doesn't overtly flirt much herself unless I start it first. Between that and her own admission that she's very careful with the information she gives out, I'm thinking she's the kind of girl who likes for the guy to lead her and take complete control of the process.

I wouldn't call this one-itis at all. I'm talking with several different girls right now and am not cutting off any possibilities, but this girl does seem like one who has potential to be more than just a hookup, and if that chance is there then I wanna take it. But I need to be aware of failure to escalate, because I've lost a couple dream girls over that too.

Any suggestions on specific things I can do next to get the ball rolling? If they can be done by phone or text that's especially helpful; we won't be able to get together again until sometime next week because Thanksgiving stuff has our schedules clogged up. We'll be in phone contact, though, and I'd like to be able to start subtly shifting things in the interest of time.

Have you tried being direct?

I used a great one a few weeks ago.
I phoned the girl and after saying hello I cut right to the chase: "Listen, I want to see you, what can we do about this?"

It doesn't exactly fit your situation but it's the method I'm trying to get across to you. Sometimes you just have to cut the shit and put it out there.

And I like to call her on her shit. But that may not work with you.

Kino is great too. Try escalating but only so much to get her into the early stages of being hot, then pull away before she has a chance to get uncomfortable. If you keep doing that push-pull, each time her resistance could get lower and you can be more affectionate until eventually something happens. Don't go right out and touch a breast. Use something more subtle like sitting close and breathing on her neck. Play with her hair, push it back behind her ear. I once won a girl in literally a half hour with her boyfriend in the room, just by playing with her hair.

Good luck to you buddy.

I feel like you just need some good old fashion alpha male style kissing. Pull her in and just do it. Y aits risky but at this point shes definitely decided whether your a friend or some guy she plans on dating and that way at least you'll know. I know its hard and i have a huge problem with it too but sometimes you just gotta do it. Act like your a natural and this is something regular she pulls away drop her and tell her you dont want a friend and if she goes for it your in. Plus if you do that it will put to rest any fears that may be in her mind about your ability to escalate sinc eyou just did it liek it was nothing almost like you were contimplating whether she was worth it up until now. The great thing about doing it is it forces out whatever feeling are in ,out ,and since youve got other option you wont be left alone if it doesnt work out.

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A woman's whole life is a history of the affections. ~Washington Irving

Thanks for the advice, guys. Got out of my head and started just having fun with her and stepped things up. This taught me all over again how much things can shift with just a little consistent, slowly escalating kino. Our last date ended up being six hours long, and by the end of the night she was sinking into my arms at our table and pulling me across the bar begging me to slow dance in front of everyone. Turned out she's really into me but prefers to move slowly anyway, so she actually appreciated that I wasn't all on her from the first meeting and this was the perfect time to turn things up.