Hey guys. I hope you can help me with this situation.

I'll make this long story as short as possible:

I was an AFC who met a beautiful girl at work, let's call her Boo after eyeing her for a while and then finally telling myself to cut the crap and talk to her. We really hit it off and she invited me to a party on the Friday.
The party was really fun but my wingman felt sick so we left early. When I was leaving, Boo gave me a big warm hug and said we should "do something socially sometime." I smiled knowing she meant go out.
We hung out after that, becoming closer. Then she went on vacation and after the second day she announced she had a boyfriend. I wasn't too hurt, the feelings hadn't built up yet.

When she came back to work, I just ignored her for two weeks. We said Hi very unemotionally a couples time when we ran into each other. One day a guy at work asks if Boo and I are an item and I told him she has a boyfriend. He said, "I have to give you a book. It changed my life." The next day he gave me The Game. And it changed my life.

For the next few weeks I continued the freeze-out and let her come to me. She did and would show more IOIs every day. Then I found out she had dumped her bf. It was on. I gamed and gamed. Push-pull, cocky funny, with some romance in there too. I was direct without being an AFC begging for her. I played some good game and things were progressing. She gave me solid IOIs, some so hot I thought my shoes would melt. But I never got to see her outside of work and I felt I was stuck in attraction without knowing how to move on. I wanted that kiss that was sooooo close. Just as we were at the the point of pure heat between us where something had to happen, she had a serious medical problem and couldn't come to work.

I was concerned so I got a hold of her and she said she missed me and would like me to come see her at home. The first opportunity was about three weeks since I last saw her so I thought I would need to re-establish the attraction a bit. I got my ass on over to her place and she opened up about a lot a personal stuff, definite sign of trust. We went into her room and got close but I felt I still needed to build attraction a bit so a kiss wasn't in the cards. Then I had to leave. She gave me a strong, loving hug, and I should have kissed her then but my train was just pulling in so I had to split. Big mistake.
I wanted to see her again after another week so I called and very directly said, "I want to see you. What can we do about this?" She giggled, loving my directness. We set up another date.

On the day she called and told me she was too hungover to see me. And I was so upset for the rest of the week. Turns out my feelings had become too strong. I was catching Oneitis.

Last week she came back to work and I was so happy to see her I just decided to forget to hold a grudge for flaking, I'd work it into a routine to get her to prove herself to me. Things went well, she looked beautiful and had stars in her eyes when she looked at me.

Then I wake up Monday morning, and as usual check Facebook for the latest news on my world. There she was 'Boo is sooo in love <3'
And I freaked! Not once thinking she meant being in love with me. And I was right, she's in a relationship. I was so frustrated and so sad. There was no sign of another man. Where did he come from? How could this have happened?

I was so ruined that day. And I made the mistake of going back to talk to her. I really wanted to discuss my feelings. Should I have? But I couldn't get the words out anyway.

I cooled down and decided I'm just going to freeze her out totally until I figure out what I want to do. Above all, I was soo thankful that I still loved women. I can still look at them and game them. Boo hadn't stoled my mojo.
So the next day, I completely, and I mean completely ignored her. Not even a hi when she stepped right in front of me. I just carried on my conversation with one of the guys. Later on I passed by her and locked eyes. She looked so destroyed, so so very sad. My friend saw it too and knew just as well as I did that I got to her.

One of the women at work knew of my plight and decided to go in and find out about the boyfriend, to see if it's serious and how long it's been going on. Here's the scoop:
He's an old boyfriend from at least five years ago who moved away but now he's back and they got together. Boo loves him. He said they should go get married in Niagara Falls. "Well what about MCAN87?" the woman asked. Boo said I'm a good guy but "he couldn't handle me." I knew she thought this because I am free of drugs and alcohol and she likes to smoke weed and cigs. The positive I take out of it is she didn't totally disqualify me, she made up a cheap excuse. She didn't deny the feelings.

Today I was ignoring Boo again until she approached me and said Hi. To not be a total dick, I said Hi and kept it short. But she kept coming back and I kept keeping it short and walking away, not really making eye contact, IODing. She was saying her nipple piercing may be infected so I said show me and I'll tell her if it's alright. She wasn't turned off, she only laughed at it, not in the rude way. I don't think I should have said it though, I was trying to freeze-out. Was that the wrong thing to do?

Ok so that was a long story, but what I'm coming to you guys for is advice on the situation. Now I know you'll say cut her loose, but I know there is attraction there. And she makes me feel like no other girl has. Call it one-itis. Call me stupid but I still want her. But...I am not closing door on other girls.

So what can I do? Stay the course and keep ignoring her? Tell her how I feel and wait for her to come back to me? Other PUA guides and forums say once the honeymoon phase of her relationship is over, she'll start to think about me again. Seems she already is thinking of me. Maybe she wants the best of both worlds and will try to get me and keep the boyfriend. I won't stand for that. I have standards.

And for the record, this being a work relationship is no big deal. The bosses suspect things have been going on and are rooting for us.

So....any advice? Thanks guys.

I'm pretty new at all this, but I think the correct PUA answer is 'Go away and fuck 100 other girls, who gives a shit if this one chick falls for you'.


You mentioned it might be one-itis in your post, and frankly from the rest of the post I can tell you out right;- it is. I'm not going to pretend to be qualified to give you any firm advice or feedback, so I'll leave that to the more able. What I will say though, is be honest with yourself about what you want from this girl before you consider any advice posted below, or anything from The Game.

Because the advice you'll get is how to get her into bed, not how to get her to be your other half. If its something more than a fb your after, I'd look for advice elsewhere.

_________________

Fancy hitting London sometime?
MSN/email: big.mickey.c@googlemail.com

I appreciate your response mickey

Yes, I know the standard answer will be:
- I have one-itis
- Go fuck 100 girls and forget about her
- She's not worth it

But like you said I am looking to be with her romantically, not just fuck and chuck her, so maybe this is not the place for advice. But...my method has always been to adapt The Game and the art of seduction to my situation. And it has worked as I have described in my original post.

I am here for advice though, even if this forum applies to getting laid ( though that's not how I see it.) Anyone can post anything and if I like it then I'll use it. I'm open to ideas.

So anyone have any boyfriend killers or jealousy techniques I could use to draw her back? If a three hour freeze-out can make her look like she'll cry and a one-day freeze-out can make her come back and talk with me despite my IODs, imagine what some jealousy routines could do!

And for the record, I am still on the prowl. This one-itis isn't that bad!

I should also add to all this that I'm sure Boo has feelings for me. Why?

Well, I freeze her out for one day, one day! and she comes running back to me three times in the course of a half hour, no matter how cold I was to her (and I was being stone cold, too much so actually.) And the day before I had frozen her out for three hours and she looked like she was going to cry.

She never actually told me she has a boyfriend. She's not dropping the LJBF or any kind of sudden "I have a bf" defence. It's as if she's trying to hide it because she has feelings for me. Or she just hasn't had the chance to bring him up.

Does anyone else think she's digging me but just playing it safe/walking down memory lane just trying to recapture the good times and the honeymoon will be over soon?

Personally I think if you want a relationship with her instead of fuck and chuck, you should just be straight with her. Know what ur getting urself into and tell her this "Im getting mixed signals from you" and go on about how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way then fine, move on bro. It will suck at times, but there's nothing more than figuring out the truth and getting past all the games.

Is fixing a cheap bracelet her boyfriend got her a DHV or chump work?
She came up to me today asking for pliers to fix her bracelet. I said I could fix it and did. She said I'm awesome and then asked my advice on something. Afterward she thanked me again with a lot of emotion in her voice and started a conversation. I made a humourous/slightly bad boy reply and got out of there.

Did I DHV or did she just sucker me into coming at her call?