Okay guys I'm in need of some help I want to know where I messed up at also if anything is still salvageable. Okay so I started talking to this hb 9 in class a few weeks ago. I never bothered to try and pick her up until recently... which is turning out to be a TERRIBLE idea. In any case she was throwing me IOI's a ton from the list ex. she always initaites conversation with me, long eye contact, and trying to get my attention. When her hand accidentally grazed mine instead of pulling away she grabs it and says I just wanted to hold your hand (I didn't know how to respond so I just smiled). It was also her birthday a few weeks ago and I teased about not bringing me and she told me that we can go out.

Okay so 2 weeks ago I was in class doing my own thing reading my script for an acting class. She leans over and starts to ask me what I'm doing. We talk about acting and it turns out she's taking some acting classes and even tells me how she kissed a girl for a part. In any case I was shooting a student film and I asked her to star in it. I figured perfect two birds with one stone she'll be able to see me in charge, showing her something I'm passionate about. Also one of my best female friends is a model so she going to see me with a super hott girl. Plus I really did need an actress.

So I get her number and later that day I text her one of my openers. (Hey you just popped in my head so hi... now stay out of there ) No reply. I was thinking how did I mess up already. Two days later she texts me back asking me about the film. Then we text each for a bit, silly jokes and what not.

So here comes the day of the shoot where I made a big error. The shoot consists of 10 college guys as crew and one of the guys was going to play her boyfriend. So instead of me spending time with her it was 10 guys competing for her attention. Plus I wasn't around much because I was doing so much other stuff. Next thing I know I see her leaving with the actor. I remembered they parked at the same place so I wasn't too concerned. Later that night I asked her to hang out for like a cast party she tells me she already busy. Makes sense cause we didn't finish up until 11:00ish and she left like 3 hours ago.

Then at the showing of the film we sit next to each other. We talk joke around whatever. Then she tells me to save a seat because the other actor guy is coming. Turns out he got her number. Needless to say I didn't save him the seat I had my friend sit there. Anyways half way of the showing I started talking to other people next thing I know she moved and the rest of the time sits with the actor guy. Dammit I was pissed that I messed up.

Later that night she told me that I had to be in class because our professor was going to give us some big project or whatever. So I showed up and turns out she was wrong so I teased her. I told she was lying just so she could see me and i did some kino. She looked like she was blushing and couldn't even hold eye contact with me. So I thought I might still be in. She asks me if I read the chapter because she didn't either so we get close to each other and read it together. This was a dumb thing that I did but I asked her about the actor guy to see if something was going on. She tells me thats it was for networking purposes. Then she mentions that I owe her so I told her that I'll just give her my friendship. I was thinking why would I mention friendship I'm stupid so I tried to fix the situation.

Later I texted that she was right and that I do owe her and that I was taking her out. Her response was ha ha no thats okay. Then i responded with this gosh girl everythings gotta be about you huh. Maybe I just wanted to take you out. After that nothing no text an entire week goes by. I see her in class I wasn't sure how to respond to that rejection so I kinda ignored her the past 2 classes. I'm pretty sure I'm done here but point me to where I messed up. Damn and I really liked her too. What should I do now? It sucks cause she does sit next to me and its kinda awkward for me.

Ouch. Well, in retrospect, it seems like you analyzed the situation pretty well. This girl sounds like she moves fast, and unfortunately, she was probably looking for you to make a move. By the time you wanted to make a move, some other guy had already moved in.

Anyways, I think this is the reason that many PUAs tell you to never "ask a girl on a date". I agree for the most part that you should rarely do this, for reasons you can read elsewhere (possibility of rejection, expressing too much interest, etc). By the time you did ask her out, you and she both knew it was a last ditch effort, and so she decided to not respond.

At this point, it's going to be tough to salvage, as you're pretty much in the LJBF zone. I would say that you should at least talk to her again. But it sounds like you just got yourself a new friend. In retrospect, that probably isn't the worst thing, especially if she is hot. She probably has hot friends that you can throw game at!

Best of luck!

I think that my weakest point is day game because the SPAM is different and I'm overly cautious when it comes to interpreting IOI's. I've been wrong in the past so even its obvious I still have trouble doing something about it. If any pointers on how I could fix this that would be great. Also pointers on where I screwed up so I don't mess up again would be awesome.

As for the girl that's really depressing that she just becomes my new friend. I have a lot of hott friends and I meet a good amount of girls through them but meeting someone I actually like is different. Maybe I was developing oneitis or something. I don't know if I can even hit on her friends because I know in the back of my mind I would be trying to still get with her. Well thanks man any more advice is highly appreciated.

whar should you do instead then?

You should have acted right here. You could have easily escalated that into a k-close in most cases and possibly an f-close.

Your mention of friendship to her sent her a mixed signal from your previous interactions with her, displaying in-congruence and probably was the cause of her becoming turned off from you.

I would go cold on her, see if she comes around after a week or two of being ignored.

Furthermore you've let this girl take control of your emotions and mind. You need to destroy whatever makes you think this is awkward, its not. AFC's are awkward, you need to feel and believe that you have 10 more girls as hot or hotter than her you could get.

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Programmer of reality.

Be casual. Go to a bar with some friends, then text her "I'm at X bar wanna join me for a drink?" Or after class "Wanna go get a drink?" or "Wanna grab a bite to eat at X place".

It has to do with her perceived value of you. When its casual, you don't care, so if shes interested in you she will want you to care. When its formal, you do care, so she doesn't need to worry about you dropping her.

You should hang out casually a few times before proposing a serious date. Dates risk being very awkward and are more socially complex than being at a bar. Its a different level of isolation. You want to take someone on a date who you are comfortable with, who you know you can talk to. Dating is a way to demonstrate her value to you by sharing a meal with her and paying for it, plus if your cultured and knowledgeable about food and wine, its a way to show deeper levels of complexity without having to say anything to her at all. The setting, if romantic, puts you both at ease and allows you to get to know each other on a deeper level.

Thus, yeah, PUA's say trying to date is a bad idea. Its not in the right context and with the right girls (who you want to have a relationship with), but it is initially very risky.

_________________
Programmer of reality.

Okay so I went cold and after about a week I sent her a text talking about the film we shot. We joked a bit and I excused her of being cold to me. She replied saying that she was trying to say hi to me and that I ignored her. So I sent her another text back and nothing. In any case we see each other the next class and we say hi but nothing how it used to be.

I have two questions now. I've already counting this as a lost cause but its okay, I've learned from it. I'm graduating and am planning to have a party at a club with some friends. Should I even bother inviting her at this point? And if so how should I proceed? And secondly I mentioned earlier about reading IOI's. How can I be more certain when a girl's into me because the AFC in me whose been wrong in the past has trouble escalating.

I would just throw her a text, "hey, I'm throwing this party, and you're invited". I wouldn't really put too much thought into how to proceed. I would just casually talk to her throughout the night, but not focus on her, make sure to mingle plenty.
A nice rule that I always think of is from Mystery: after 3 IOIs, she is interested. Don't think about it, just assume she is interested at 3 IOIs. Don't waste time or brainpower analyzing the situation any further than that.

I completely disagree that u should go cold on her and wait for her to chase u. Uve made a lot of mistakes. However I dont think its completely lost. But u'll have to regain her trust

The way I c it she did all the actor thing to make u jealous (She was supposed to spend time with u and she ended up almost never seeing u, what was she supposed to do???) When girls do things purposely its pretty clear. She's coming to U and asking U to reserve a spot for her and the guy.... hmmm

When u didnt show any signs of jealousy she almost gave up(Damn dude push and pull, dont try to be the cocky superstar she'll never be able to reach).

After that u TEASED her about u knowing that she obviously liking u (master cocky, try to reverse the role and see how u would feel if a girl told u that)

And finally (when u asked about the other guy, she thought maybe u actually noticed her) she tried a last shot to salvage the boat and u offered her ur friendship!!(basically saying, I know u like me, but I dont like u)...

And on top of all this u went and TXT'd her in a teasing way that u could maybe take her out on a second thought(Basically what seemed like, I dont like u, but Ill take u out for some other reason(Im desperate, or I feel pity, oe I wanna bang u, etc))

So if u really ask what uve done wrong, uve done almost everything wrong. Jst think about what did u want to do with this girl. U HAD already built attraction. U needed comfort, nontheless u kept attracting and not showing interest.

HOWEVER NOT EVERYTHING IS LOST!!!
What I would do:
- Stay without seeing her 1 week (so she forgets the awkwardness btw u 2)
- First time u see her after go and give her a hug, or whatever u do, try to be 'like any of this crap never happened'
- Do friend stuff together + build some comfort
- When u hang out one day, build a bit kino and much comfort, and tell her that maybe u never noticed X thing about her. Tell her that u were dumb to not take the train when u had the chance and tell her that maybe she's the right one for u. Be serious STOP THE COCKY BS.
- If she's comfortable after all this(eye contact and what-a-not) and not turning away or looking down. Go for the k-close.
- If she isnt (most of the time she'll be looking down not knowing what to think, if ur tooling with her or not) jst say smthing like ("ye I should have caught that train") smile and walk away. Half of the times she'll come after u. The other half u jst forget her

THE KEY IN THE LAST PART IS TO NOT BE OUTCOME DEPENDENT. Ur telling her u like her cuz u do, not cuz u wanna get in btw her legs.

Rest is to u.

Let me know how it goes.

I think I would tell you the same thing as the other guys told,

But DAMN! I just gotta say with this many IOI & if she was hot, I would had sex already at the "audio room" god!, you gotta get over your sexual anxiety, you are too much in your head thinking how to game her while SHE already covered everything till seduction without you doing ANYTHING!, you gotta recognize this type of situations, and believe you me they will present themselves more often as you get better ...

Cheers

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V3nu