This LR is about a girl I fucked in the toilets of a pub within about 40 minutes of meeting her!

I had just finished the final session of a four-week Drink Driving Rehabilitation course at the National Probation Service, Hammersmith, West London earlier this year. And all the attendees celebrated by going to the pub down the road (The Eagle). There we were having a good old drink chatting about how pointless the course was (apart from to reduce our driving bans), and we spotted a 2-set having a drink at a nearby table. One of them, an HBPeruvian was flashing some leg and kept glancing over. However, I didn't really know the group I was with that well, so wasn't entirely comfortable with going over to these girls or asking them over with the present company. So I just socialised with the group so the girls could see and engaged in good light-hearted jovial chit-chat with my fellow drink-drivers without looking in the girls' direction too much, just once or twice to catch some eye contact, but not enough to make them think I was desperately interested.

Eventually, the guys I was with all had to go and I still had half of my drink left (a JD and coke). So, it was now or never. As soon as they all left, I sauntered over to the girls' table and said, "Hi, my friends have all had to leave and I've still got my drink left, do you mind if I join you girls while I finish it?" I had recently watched the Woody Allen film 'Vicky Christina Barcelona' and anyone who's seen it will know instantly what I mean when I felt like the guy just going over to two girls in a bar and being incredibly frank with them. This is the approach I took.

The HBPeruvian replied with a smile on her face something along the lines of, "That's a bit forward, maybe we're having a private chat." At this point, I just smiled, sat down at their table and said, "Cool, well maybe I can contribute intelligently to the conversation." She was taken aback a little by my forwardness and cheekiness, but she seemed to like it rather than take offence.

The HBPeruvian asked who the guys were that I was with and why we were in the pub together, so I said they were friends I'd just been playing football with tonight. It's clear to me now that she was fishing for information because she worked at the Probation Office and probably knew that the drink-driving course had just finished, and we didn't exactly all look like a footballing lot. And when I asked what they did, they soon revealed that they both worked at the Probation Office dealing with criminals. So, rather than try to act all coy about my own criminal past, I told them that I'm a criminal and have done some naughty things (even though I'd already revealed by this point I work for an investment bank). They both seemed to validate themselves by saying they're not like Goody Two-Shoes and expect everyone that they meet to be squeaky clean. Well, obviously - it's there job to meet criminal people; I already knew this, so why would they mention this? They were talking about their personal lives. In other words, they had just given me an IOI that I was a potential "involvement" without them even realising it.

I instantly picked up on this and decided to escalate the situation. I offered to buy a round of drinks and went to the bar so they could confer with each other over me. I think this is always a good thing to do in a situation like this, because it allows the girls to clear any obstacles between themselves on flirting rights, fancying rights, etc. while the target (me in this case) is away for a few moments. When I returned, it was clear that they'd had this little conference and the HBPeruvian was all of a sudden more flirty. IOI! I didn't need much more than this, now all I had to do was isolate her. I continued with my original promise of adding intelligent conversation by talking very philosophically about life, society and other bollocks, which I noticed the HBPeruvian found fascinating and she herself seemed very knowledgeable in such subjects, so I adapted my conversation to this level, rather than trying to impress her with anecdotal stories such as my shotgun marriage, my party life, etc. It's important to adapt conversation to the type of girl you're talking with, the same routines don't work on all girls. But at the same time, you need to demonstrate depth as well, give yourself several dimensions. Girls don't like a flat person, like someone with lots of stories of one type - they find it uninteresting. So, I had demonstrated a career-minded intelligent side with interesting and controversial views on life, but also this badboy edgy side with a bit of an enigmatic criminal history that I didn't care to reveal too much about.

It got to closing time and the bar staff said to drink up. The other girl said she needed the toilet and went off. The HBPeruvian then immediately sat on my lap. She was isolated! So I just went for it! I put my hand up her skirt and fingered her - she was dripping! She got horny quicker than you could say "Get your tits out". She pulled her top down and I was sucking her tits and fingering her while sat in the pub in full view of anyone still remaining. Within about a minute and a half, we were in the men's toilets and I ripped down her knickers and fucked her from behind! And she was moaning like a bitch. Not too long later, there was a knock on the door - it was the bar staff - at least they had the decency to knock rather than barging in! So we drunk up, and left.

We walked towards the Tube station with her friend and luckily I had been completely talkative with the other girl all night too, thus defusing any potential cockblock. In fact, she said I seem like a nice guy and trusted her friend would be safe with me. She then left us. Almost straight away, I had the HBPeruvian up against a wall and was fucking her on the street right outside Ravenscourt Park Tube Station! She crouched down with her legs open and I ripped a hole in her crotch and stuck my dick in! It was conspicuous to the max! People walked by pretending not to notice. All of a sudden she realised how public this was and we stopped and tried to find somewhere more hidden. We tried to get into the park but it was all closed off, so we ended up going in someone's driveway and I fucked her on the cold hard concrete floor, missionary. I cushioned her back with a jacket, but my knees was fucking bleeding red roar by the end of it. And we had to stop every now and then when someone walked past on the pavement.

She was so fucking horny that even after I finished, she made me fuck her again, she was like "Stick your dick in me now!" and eventually I just completely conked out. We got dressed (in the driveway), walked to the Tube station a minute away, said our goodbyes, and never saw each other again.

But the irony of this and what I love most about this story is that she worked in the Probation Office where I had just had my drink-driving course and she didn't know that she had just fucked one of her colleague's clients. I got screwed by the judicial system, so it was extremely satisfying to screw the system back! She probably checked for my name the next day at work on her computer system - would've loved to have seen her face!

So this is just another superfast lay report that I've read a few of lately, but it just goes to show that it is possible and going in for gold if you get IOIs is not taboo at all. She sits on your lap when her friend goes to the toilet - fuck it, go for gold! Learn to spot those subtle IOIs such as initial glances, flashing of leg while talking to her friend and self-validation. But adapt to her, demonstrate something she looks for in a man, but also something a little contradictory to that, spark their interest, girls love a man with edge and enigma about them. And if you can portray that in yourself, you'll have the women falling at your knees... preferably against a Tube station wall!

Oh, and one thing I didn't mention - she was happily married with kids and said she's never cheated on her husband before!!!

I'm always sceptical about lay reports. As with all stories, certain aspects can be exhagerated further than reality, such as her being married with kids.

Now thats the negative out the way, hats off to you mate. Very informative report, and really emphasises the importance of caliberation. I learned the hard way, the same attitude and game doesnt work with all girls, even if their sat next to eachother! As mystery put it best, "Fake it till you make it!".

Just curious, do you think it was speeded up further becausse of the drinking? or was she pure horny from subtle points u may have dropped? I just want to know how you got her sexually escelated through a friendly conversation.

Well, she definitely was married with kids and living with them. Here's how I found out. She told me after I fucked her. However, we exchanged Facebooks. I added her on Facebook using my phone as soon as I left her at the Tube station. Her profile picture was just her on her own. I arrived home about an hour later and went to look at her profile online on my laptop. She had already updated her profile picture to her, her husband and her kids!! She was feeling VERY guilty obviously!

She denied my friend request and sent me a message saying she shouldn't have done what she did and is happy with her family life and is glad to have met me otherwise apart from what she did.

Anyway, yes, the sarge was speeded up by the drinking probably - but when I first went over, she was pretty sober and very lucid and held a very intelligent conversation. The wine I bought is probably what tipped her over the edge.

So here's a quick tip - if you want to get a girl to reduce her inhibitions, skip the alcopops and spirits, skip the flavoured shots, skip the beer, skip the cocktails, rosé wine is the way forward. They'll drink it like juice and it goes to their head pretty quickly. And their inhibitions, if they want to fuck you anyway, will be reduced to almost zero. But you still have to put in the legwork using game etc. to get her to that point. Getting a girl to fuck you using drink ALONE is aka rape! lol

Hahahaha love it! Drink without game is rape! lmao! yet its so true.

I guess it goes to show, their as bad as we are when it comes to commmitment. In an LTR we all need someone that keeps us on our toes. Again, good work!

See im not a drinker, been sober for two years, one day at a time. Do you think that little bit of drink upped your inner game, in other words, do you think you would have the same standard of game whilst sober?

Im very spontaneous, and use very good natural game as and when caliberated. But that first kick in the ass to get moving isnt the same without a little sip to get me going.

Well, being from the UK, you should know all about the recent news over the past year or so about drunken consent not being actual consent etc.

Anyway, on this particular occasion, I was completely sober. I think I was only on my first or second JD and coke and it take a lot of those to get me even slightly tipsy.

Drink has definitely helped up my game in some situations reducing inhibitions and making me seem more natural and confident, but generally I'm ok sober. I went sober for about 6 months about three years ago, and my ability to pull girls was still just as good. However, having a drink in your hand I think has a psychological effect too. It makes you feel comfortable and sparks your social neurons (if there's such a thing).

Btw, I noticed you live or lived in Headingley, Leeds. I lived there in 2000/2001! Great place. I used to jog past the Skyrack. My longest ever relationship (who I was engaged to) was a girl I met in Leeds.

Ha! Deffinately agreed. Theres a whole psychological aspect behind holding a drink whilst in game oriented conversation. Reflects alot with body language and confidence, depending on how or where you hold your glass. Anyways, that branches off somewhere completely different.

Yes I still live around Headingley, not too far from the skyrack. You should know best, Leeds is amazing for partying, students and girls. Over the last year in particular the numbers just keep growing.

I see your from down south, what do you think of both places for game potential?

Well, I lived in Leeds in 1999/2000, so it's hard to compare game potential between there and London. There are a million and one other factors as well as location. But I think certain people suit certain locations better. E.g., an American might say a small town in America is shit for women - but an Englishman might say it's great because his accent and Englishness is high value! I say this, because I used to live in a small town in America before I lived in Leeds and had my quickest ever lay there (20mins) based purely on the fact I was English - however, I got 33 stitches as a result when her boyfriend caught us in the act!

I lived in Wigan for 18 years, Nottingham for 3 years, Camberley in Surrey for 6 years and now live in London. I think the south is definitely more difficult because girls seem to expect a lot more from their men because there are a lot of men around that have money down here and it's a much more superficial environment down here in that respect. So given what I've learned down here in the last few years, if I were ever to move up north again, I think my game would be incredible!

I think northern girls are definitely more real, and appreciate real men more, not the pretty boys down here seems to be littered with!