After reading through some posts on here, I have been prompted to write the following:

When two people start a relationship, it is done on either the basis your terms or her terms. If it is done right(your terms), you will be the one in control and not have to worry about your woman straying. If you accept the relationship on her terms, she has all the power and will make you her bitch(whether she is consciously aware of it or not). Then the relationship will need constant maintenance to keep things okay. Your life will then become a living hell.

I have personally been in both. Things work a lot better when you have control.

Now obviously there is the huge challenge of maintaining control, but when you've established the relationship on your terms, you are in a much better position if you mess up.

Would love to hear what others opinions are.

My opinion is that this is bullshit and you're entirely too focused on who is in "control."

If you're constantly worrying about who has "power" in a relationship, you're automatically dooming all of yours to ultimate failure. You want to be in control because it makes you feel more secure, but as long as you look at things through this lens you will never experience the rich, loving depth of connection those who see their significant other as a partner and an equal experience every day.

True love requires risk, brotha.

Your boy,
870

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"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

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o man, you are right on here I think! I have been put into situations where because I fell in love with a girl I accepted the way she thought the relationship should look like. Like me having to text her 15 times a day with little I love you messages... its not fun anymore if you have to do it.

Its much easier and better to put it all out on the table with the girl. Being honest is the best thing in this case for you and her. But sometimes you're so in love you'll just tell her anything she wants to hear, lol.

870 - You do make a good point. Constantly worrying about having the power in the relationship can make you cynical. Due to some bad experiences I've went through, I went through a period of feeling secure if I had control. But like you alluded to, thats not what its all about.

I guess the point that I was trying to make is that if the relationship is rooted on your terms, you will have passed her tests and proven yourself alpha to her.

bag o donuts illustrated the point perfectly with his example. He accepted the relationship on her terms, which gave her all the power. While you don't wont to worry over every little thing, it is not good to let her think she can control you either.

As long as you are honest, up front and clear about who you are and what you intend to do FROM THE BEGINNING, you should never have this problem. If you set a precedent for the relationship by cow-towing to her every whim from the very first date, yes, you are in for a rude awakening somewhere down the line when you get fed up with her expecting you to continue that behavior.

However, if you are always unapologetically YOU, you are on the path to achieving the ideal situation of ultimate sexiness in her eyes and ultimate fulfillment in your heart.

The only thing a man needs to be in control of is himself.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)