So I decided I wanted to try some FB sarging, and I direct-opened my sister's friend. We've never spoken before, but we have 26 mutual friends and I have great social proof with about 800 friends.

I decided to send her a private message, and not to add her, at least not yet.

Anyway, here it went:


Me:
i was looking through my sister's recent album and ive got to say i reckon ur pretty cute. but before i start talking to you properly, i need to know, is there anything more to you? you know, give me some REAL reasons to offer you a candlelit dinner and serenade.

Her reply (about 6 hours later):
wow hi, nice to meet you
so anything more to me? just making sure im not a psyco bitch with a pretty face, are we?
ummm reasons.. well i shower everyday, i don't bite my nails and i'm pretty good in bed. anything else? a resume?
ok well now im pretty curious.. since i kinda have absolutely no idea who you are. why should you take me to a candlelit dinner?



How do you guys interpret this reply?
What should I say next?

Suggestions much appreciated.

She's probably bout a 7 btw

_________________
What is worse, the pain of hard work or the pain of regret?

You went for the kill before you even built any comfort, repport, interest, or anything. It must be stressed not to just jump into something like "why should I take you out on a date" right off the bat..

What to do from there, though, she sounds conceited. Neg her.

OMG! hehe looks good!
"nice to meet you" (IOI) "so anything more to me? just making sure im not a psyco bitch with a pretty face, are we? " (she's flirting with you as far as i'm concerned - IOI) "... i'm pretty good in bed..." (LOL!! IOI!) "anything else? a resume? " (as i see it it's a calibrated IOD so it will not look like she's easy or scare you away with neediness) "i kinda have absolutely no idea who you are." (IOD) "why should you take me to a candlelit dinner?" (hmmm trying to qualify you cuz you didn't dhv yourself)

she does sound conceited. and your opener was a little bit too cocky so it's just natural it went that way. calibrate with a neg and dhv.
try something like "why should i take you to a candlelit dinner? well, that's what i'm trying to figure out, you see the last girl i dated was a real nut she has A.D.D and couldn't stop talking! but to be honest you seem kind of fun, are you?"
it's not perfect don't copy paste it!!!
that was an example of IOD+DHV+qualify

so, i negd, but she didn't reply for a few days so i neg/goodbyed n then she replied:
November 8:
woah woah, just relax with the bed talk, i really hope thats not how u normally do things, i dont want my sister associating with people who are so single-minded.
congratulations, you are literate, you have been able to repeat the question, why should i take you to a candlelit dinner? if u haven't figured it out, im looking for a little more depth than what you seem to value paris hilton. u sound just like all the others SPAM.
ill be generous and give you another chance to answer
me again: November 11 at 8:56pm
all right, u couldn't think of anything. have a nice life.
her reply at 9:59pm
ok ireally don't understand you. how do you expect me to somehow prove myself to you as a one of a kind, deep girl over a facebook message? and why? i still hardly know who you are. even if i did spend the last few days trying to think of something i still don't think i could come up with a few sentences to win you over.
and btw, saying that i sound like all the others after one joking email is really... i can't think of the right word.. .but seriously, how can you say that? you don't know me at all. i'm not just like the 'others' and i anyway, i think everybody's different, only with some people you need to dig past the fakeness. but i really don't see why i need to justify myself..
please do tell me though what kind of answer you were looking for? im really curious as to what could possibly be the right answer.




Guys, help me out here please.

_________________
What is worse, the pain of hard work or the pain of regret?

woah woah, just relax with the bed talk(good neg,so far,so goood), i really hope thats not how u normally do things, i dont want my sister associating with people who are so single-minded. (after your neg,i think the rest wasn't that good, you gotta be funny, your neg gotta be kind of playful)

congratulations, you are literate, you have been able to repeat the question, why should i take you to a candlelit dinner?(WOW,that was harsh, I think you lost her right there) if u haven't figured it out, im looking for a little more depth than what you seem to value paris hilton. u sound just like all the others SPAM. (The ''you sound like the others, is absolutely BAD, you should never use that!!!!EVER!)!ll be generous and give you another chance to answer (At this point,she really doesn't want to answer you..)

me again: November 11 at 8:56pm
all right, u couldn't think of anything. have a nice life. (Should have waited for more than 3 days before a reply,that sounds needy and the way you told her that sounded very needy too)

Anyways man, you had a very good reply from her on her first message, pretty okay opening message, but you followed with something REALLY bad.... sorry to tell you. You were cocky,that's for sure, but you were lacking of funny material.

But I can assure you that it's not over with her, you can rearrange the conversation . I'm willing to help you, send me your IM on PM and I will show you great examples of cocky/funny conversations that lead to a number close or a future f-close.

Cheers bro

Wow man you need to be grateful she even sent you anything.
I don't mean to step on your toes here but seriously come on...
You were too cocky and too serious.
Don't be so serious with girls.
I think you can somehow turn this to a fun convo and get a "date"(I don't call a coffee a date) in the end of it.
However, as I said before I'm not that good online(not that I'm that good in real life) but, I know the structure.
When I wrote you to neg+dhv+qualify I meant in a playful way.
I will give you an example, if you wanted to neg about the bed thing you could say "Wow good in bed?! You are straightforward aren't you! You are going too fast for me here... I only go with blonds but you can bleach your hair if you want to " that's the neg thing, maybe it was too much but look at it as an example. Then a dhv story... and then your qualify could be "So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up, and DON'T say Princess.".

But now I'm not sure what you should do... you cannot be "the fun cool guy" right away now; so what I THINK you should do is go serious like before, give her an IOI (she deserves it!) and in the end go playfully.
Maybe something like: "You know what, you're right; it is hard to get to know someone so fast. I just dated a girl and she was a nutcase.
But you seem cool and fun. I know it's hard to win me over but the least you could do is try!! If you want to get to know me then I give you permission to ask about me any question that comes to your mind!!
Well not really, hahaha, I don't want you to go "well i told ' i'm pretty good in bed' so now you tell me!" that doesn't count! Anyway I'm curios about you, If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?"

Try to play with it, I don't think what I wrote is a perfect game but I really am trying to help.
I think you don't really need to qualify her like this, you can tell her some story which will hopefully make her say something in a response and make her qualify naturally.

Situation update

id love some feedback, tips on escalating, whether or not to add her yet etc

me November 12 at 3:17pm
You know what, you're right; it is hard to get to know someone so fast.
But you seem cool and fun. I know it's hard to win me over but the least you could do is try!! If you want to get to know me then I give you permission to ask about me any question that comes to your mind!!
Well not really, I don't want you to go "well i told ' i'm pretty good in bed' so now you tell me!" that doesn't count! Anyway I'm curios about you, If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

Her November 12 at 8:34pm
haha ok enough about the good in bed thing, it was a joke!
umm if i had to live anywhere i'd live in melbourne simply because i don't think i could ever live without football. it's the best sport in the world and everything about going to games just makes me happy (except for the train ride home when we lose..) seriously though, i've lived in israel and spent 2 months in france so i've learnt to appreciate everything about melbourne. i absolutely love france, it's so beautiful, and i'm sure i will spend alot of time there someday but i can't imagine living there. plus its insanely cold.
now it's your turn.. answer the same question please:) and can i ask another one? ... i'll take that as a yes. so.. tell me if you could have one superpower, what would it be? i've never been able to choose so í'm curious

Me November 13 at 2:57pm
now that's the kind of answer that i'm always looking for. ideally i'd live halfway between the dome and the g. who do you barrack for? (This really is the defining question) i hear the people aren't so beautiful in france. and im guessing its probably warmer in summer.

do u mean a super power i do or don't have already? its got to be superhearing though. imagine walking up to people and remarking on their private conversation. itd be worth it for the looks on their faces.

Her November 14 at 6:33pm
i meant ones you don't have, but please enlighten me on the ones you do have. sounds fun
...im a blues girl. judging from your picture you barrack for st kilda?haha well this is might be a sticky situation. what's your opinion on interclub mixing?
how's your weekend?

Me November 15 at 5:43pm
i don't quite think we've reached the stage where i can share the details of my powers, its very sensitive information, the government have actually been trying to track me down. it is fun though.

sticky situation! i thought you didnt want me to keep on bringing up the bed talk. honey, got to settle. well if ur a carlton supporter we can't be anything more than friends, but i do have many friends who are from the dark side.

weekend's been great, played cricket yesterday, went out to ackland st last night and slept in. wonderful life. wat bout u?

Her November 15 at 6:56pm
i knew you would say something like that. it's fine though, cos like, who would the kids go for? i hear that how most cases of identity disorders in kids start. we wouldn't want that.

this weekend i finally enjoyed some freedom from exams, well until next weeks yr 11 exams, but they dont really matter. yesterday i worked, saw a friend then a few others at night. today i went on a hugeeeeee shopping spree. i'm one happy girl right now:) not having to worry about exams in the back of mind is the best feeling. i'm sure you know it

fair enough about the powers. let me know when we reach that sharing stage though, i'd hate to miss all the fun..

_________________
What is worse, the pain of hard work or the pain of regret?

Man I can't believe you just copy and paste what I wrote... I really didn't mean you to do that.
Ha ha actually I'm surprised it worked... just kidding!! of course it worked, I wrote that!
OK now that my ego is bigger than my body I can continue with my post .

She sounds really sweet man! and I think you can ask her for a "date" already, she is giving you IOIs right and left. But stop being so cocky!!! Now you really need to get to know her better so stop the cockiness but keep the playfulness. Take her on a date and kino the hell out of her.

Update:

Me November 16 at 6:48pm
ill tell you now, they would go for st kilda. actually that would make a great divorce settlement, you get all the money for all your shopping desires material girl, as long as the kids are sainters.

please tell my sister that they don't matter. i swear she works harder for year 11 exams than i did for yr 12 exams. but ye its a good feeling, finished last week, looking for a job now as well as pursuing some other projects.

chuck us ur number and we'll organise a time to get together for a cup of tea and some stimulating conversation.

and i didn't think u were that shy not to add me yet

Her November 18 at 2:34pm
you're horrible, you know that? my english exam is tomorrow and instead of studying im replying to your message.. seriously

its nice that you think we will settle it like that but football is a little more important than money. maybe we can split one for you, one for me. i pick the cuter one.

you will be officially added in about 30 seconds. happy stalking:)

04*****14 [she gave her number]

Me November 18 at 9:23pm
i can see that you really hate replying to these messages

you will be officially added in about 30 seconds. i'm told stalking my page is good fun, so indeed happy stalking

good luck for your exam, how many do you have? it sounds like you really enjoy exams actually.

********************************************

So, this is only my second number close since I started sarging, any major tips from here, I've read Double Your Dating.

Best ways to avoid flakes?
Best ways to escalate on first date?
How much to communicate pre-date?

I'm looking for a girlfriend here.

BTW, thanks for your help so far everyone, couldn't have done it without you!

_________________
What is worse, the pain of hard work or the pain of regret?

I can't believe I forgot to tell you to ask her on a date online and assume she'll you her number. That's how you avoid flakes.
Stop sending her messages now cuz you got her number, just use it. You can text or call. I'm not a fan of texting but do what ever works for you.

Do you have experience?
If so, just do what you know to get her.
If not... well... stop sarging online then, and start going out.
Online game is just another skill a PUA should(not must) have to become a master. The real game is played in the field.

Escalate? well that's not a small subject. The best advice is: act confident with every move. Start with hand holding and move to hugs and then a kiss.
How much to communicate pre-date? I don't understand the question. You have already communicated what you needed.
Don't expect to take her home from the date to the bed. It can be done but you are really need to be a pro. Hehe AFC Adam does this and it's not easy. The rules are: 1. you have to kiss her. 2. You have to talk and listen to her. 3. Have fun.

Good luck.

so we had our date today.

i followed practically everything david deangelo wrote in double your dating.

i had been using kino, and we were sitting in the park and i started playing with her hair.

my lack of experience meant that i'm not a great reader of "kiss tests" so although her body language wasn't amazing, i went in for the kiss.

she said "not now."


i think otherwise it went pretty well, we were getting along well, good rapport, made her laugh, plenty of 'busting her balls' and she had given a lot of IOIs in fb communication.

But is it reasonable for a 17 yr old girl (im 19) to not want to kiss yet?

_________________
What is worse, the pain of hard work or the pain of regret?

when she says "not now" say "I understand"
I think she's just shy to make out in public.