Hey guys,

So Ive posted a few times about my girlfriend. Heres another long story I need help with.
We had a great honeymoon period. She was the most amazing girlfriend ive had, she treated me good and so on.

She had a bit of an issue with a few of my friend girls, texting me certain things.
Last week monday, she invited a guy from her work to a club we all go to. I didnt go cause I visit her every week and its a semi long distance relationship lol. his voice is really gay btw.

She's a very flirty girl and likes to hold hands with everyone and stuff.
So she texted me that night at 3am saying I love you. and dont doubt me. I just want you here to be with me and look after me and so on. I knew something was up, but we left it.

Spoke to her the next day and she seemed ok, still I knew she was hiding something.
Laster on the phone later that day, she told me this guy got a bit handsy and she was offended cause he knows she has a boyfriend (me). and she said she was gonna tell him to back off the next day, but just realized he was drunk and was a nice guy. and she met up with him for coffee the next day....
I got a bit pissed off and later on txted her I didnt like this, and he seems like a dick.

After she said its fine, he's an ok guy just he got drunk. I said, drunk guys just do what they want to do when sobber, I dont do that kind of stuff and none of my friends do either.

She got very defensive and said, Why dont you trust my judgement, I need you to trust me. You cant always protect me, I can look after myself and so on.

I said fine, its not about being protective, its just I dont like it.
She said she loves me and is very happy with me and so on.


This week went to see her. She's a tad colder, doesnt compliment me as much and said I guess we're going on a bit of a bad patch, that she misses me when Im not here and doesnt want to think about missing me.

We had sex and had fun for a couple of days. Come saturday night. She invites this guy out to halloween with us. He seemed like a nice bloke, very camp, not rude or a player or anything. But my girlfriend was like, lets for a ciggerette and when holding my hand was talking to him. and the rest of the way to the club, she walked with him and spoke to him.

Once we started in the que, she just kept giving me funny looks and then looking at him and if Id catch her looking at him, shed look funny at me. We decided after 30mins we'll take the party home. She walked ahead with this guy and linked her arm around him and maybe held his hand, I couldnt see I was talking to her friends and a buddy of mine. She went into the kebab shop with her friend and after a few mins, txted him to come sit inside too. I noticed this, after awhile I went in too and joined them, took over the conversation and gave her some looks.

Basically we went to bed upset and we both felt it.

My friends that also know her, think she is testing me, all her ex's still follow her and worship her, and she knows Im not a push over but obviously she knows I dont like the holding hands things and is testing me.

She txts me less, even tho she's working alot and going uni.
and Ive decided to up on the games too.
I told her Im going to a house party, she knows the girls there like me and my ex is there. and I also have a friends birthday party on the same day. and she suggested why dont you tell the girl you'll stay for a bit but have to go to a friends birthday party. I told her straight away, it will be fine, Ill be there till late.

My friends also say she's probably very jealous, and is getting anyone to make you jealous too. The guy isnt good looking, sounds gay and I just dont see it.

I dont mind playing games and I dont mind her playing games too as long as I win and get my point across. I want to keep going till she basically has to speak to me, cause she has always said she hates jealous needy types and isnt jealous type herself.

So my friends also said, dont go this week, she's use to you seeing her and knows you'll come see her.
So I was going to see her on saturday and just text her, I dont think Ill make 2moro, whens your next day off?

she text back after an hour, just saying:
why? x Im guessing the why is for why cant I go.

On the phone last night she was telling me she misses me and wants friday to go quickly so she can see me on saturday.

We havent spoke about me being pissed off about saturday, or the lack of effort, hardly any texting.
We love each other and we both have only said it to 2 people. And I know we're both the bext sex we've had too.

So do I speak to her about whats bothering me, or keep going till she has to talk to me. Shall I go 2moro, or what excuse shall I give for not going?

What if I go back, and see she's been txting this guy for the last 3 days, but hasnt txt me?

I know Im sounding a bit like a bitch and acting bitchy, but I like playing fire with fire, but your advice would be great.

thank you

honestly, she thinks youre going to stick through her stupid games, I would take a step back and not go this weekend. Show her without actually saying it that if she doesn't put in the effort youre not going to either. She sounds immature

Thanks dude.
How do I show her without saying it?

I texted her saying, whens her next day off.

And she txted me a whole thing she had planned on what we should do on her day off on sunday.

She said to have breakfast in bed and stay in our pajamas till we wanted to head out and go town and get a friend her birthday present (good friend of both of ours)
go home, have dinner, watch buffy and angel (we are currently watching it)

lol, I always thought she was mature, she's very strong and mature on the outside, but the more Ive got to know her, she is very insecure. She cried the last time, she admitted she was a flirty person and likes attention.

But at the same time, she's the type if I sit her down and say one thing, she'll accuse me of being jealous, over protective or soppy.
But she obviously feels something and even if it was on the spot, planned a day for us, which I like.

What should I even reply. She knows Im at this party with all these girls right now

C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N
If you don't talk to her about what you don't like or what you like, she will never know!!
Communication is key in a relationship, she may not know you're not happy with her doing that.
Talk to her!!

She knows. She's not stupid. We spoke about it before we got together, and I mentioned I wouldnt like my girlfriend doing that

See her tomorrow man. If anything in the relationship is bothering you (not just this case), talk to her about it. Don't try to "freeze her out" or do any other shit on her. You're in a god damn relationship and you should be able to talk to her about anything and resolve your problems.

BEFORE you got together.
But you haven't told her while its happening...
People forget things, if you don't talk to her about it, things will get worse.
For example...
I was a little bothered that the ex bf of a girl I'm dating kept going to her house...she wouldn't come out, but he'd go to her house.
So I told her, she needs to put a stop to him, so I kinda made her promise that she would call him and told him to stop going to her house.
If I didn't told her, she probably would've never guessed that I wanted her to talk to him.
Communication is key in a relationship, don't trust advices about "freezing her out" this is not the Pick Up, you're already in a relationship!

dude you made your business clear .. you don't like her doing that.
DO NOT tell her what she can or can't do ..... really .... She's acting immature then treat her like she's immature.
if she doesn't respect your wishes then she can fuck-off, don't even think about being affected.....
if she really loves you she would respect your wishes ... if she doesn't respect my wishes then we need to make her remember how much she loves me.

1. Don't get emotional ... the one who isn't emotional will decide the outcome.
2. Don't act like you give a shit ... just make small statements.
3 Don't put up a defense, when you put up a defense it will only get worse.

Communication is the key .... in my opinion you communicated enough, is she retarded ? GFs punish you by withholding sex .. as long she's withholding sex she is trying to punish you .... If you withhold sex she will get angry and frustrated and probably bite you back by doing things you don't like.

Next time just go flirt with other girls .... ignore her .. maybe look 2 times if your GF's ok , Make her ultra jealous..... You can't tell her to not do something .. if she flirts with other guys - you flirt with other girls. Just do the same.

if she gets jealous and acts like '' what are you doing with those girls etc '' just reply '' im doing the same things you do '' she can't punish you for doing the same things as her.
then tell her why ... just tell her if she thinks he's more important then she should fuck him . this is a radical statement, you can alter it a bit.
when you make such a statement do it like you really don't give a shit - don't even be angry.

Just look totally non -needy and keep her in the dark ... girls hate that, let her fear the loss of YOU - let her fear the possibility of you finding another girl !

it all depends on the situation ..... If she doesn't respect your wishes then SHE will see the consequences of her own actions ! don't let her walk over you Be non-needy Be strong and be independent.
Do what you feel is the best , but never never get under your GF - do everything to get on top of the relationship.

don't fucking see everything like a test ... her actions are quitte weird dude ... i mean WTF. DOn't even comply to her test , don't eve ntake it or ignore it .. just turn it around and let her own test bite her in her ass.
Like you said you don't need to be tested WTF , you get tested in hospitals and at shrinks - i don't wanna be tested by my GF.

don't even make a excuse for not going ... just tell her the truth and how you feel about it. just get on top of the relationship .. .don't overdo it . dont get over-control and don't be a social robot.

ASSES : she didn't respect some of your wishes and acted immature
TARGET : you getting on top of the relationship
WEAPONS : you decide ..... ignore .. be honest etc .... this time you choose Fire.
MOVEMENT and TIMING : when and how are you going to fix things ?

SELFREFLECTION : you acted little bit bitchy indeed, but you just don't let someone fuck with you and i totally agree with you. Just be sure to no OVER DO it.

Don't make up scenarios and shit ....don't even think she has been txting this guy for 3 days .....
BECAUSE WHO CARES ... that's out of your control .. do things that are in your control. of course you can be a idiot an tell her who she can text....
maybe shes fucking text messaging him about shampoo and colognes... maybe they are talking about how to wash hair without breaking it --- AND THERE YOU COME BLAME '' WTF ARE YOU TALKING WITH HIM !!?!?.
now imagine you talking about shampoo for 3 days and your gf comes barging in ... you wouldn't like that don't ya ?


girls hate it when you act like you don't give a shit
girls hate being ignored
girl hate being kep in the dark

if she acts very emotional then act by being not emotional .... this conveys stability and it make it look like your unnaffected !

if you got a good relationship then TALK ABOUT IT ...... don't be a fucking ass thats sabotaging his own relationship....

if she decides to play with fire - fight fire with fire

depends on how long your together etc.... just don't be an asshole ...

woman are like dogs ... when they did something wrong they need to know WHAT they did wrong... just don't reward her before she understands 100 %. If she comes to you ... don't ignore her ..... if she comes to you then you can talk about it - it also gives you the edge of not forcing her the subject.
''so I kinda made her promise ''LOL you made her promise ... thats manipulation you forced her... you made her promise - Good job relationship rollex!
if she said: '' no i want to decide who i want see '' how would you react genius ?
little bothered .. well i think you were BOTHERED alot otherwise you wouldn't brag about it.
you were dating her ... so no serious relationship and you already seemed jealous lol ...... you will tell her she won't like it .. she will think : he's jealous...

If i got a serious relationship i will communicate ... fucking eachother doesn't mean we have a serious and good relationship .... i can fuck with anyobody and so can she. Time and emotional value are the factors ...
im dating until im getting married or talking about getting married

and yeah sure what the fuck was her age ? .... 90 % of the girls will ask you why and tell you to fuckoff --- stop telling her what she can't or can do.
ALL girls hate it when being told what or what they can't do ... all my female friends told me this. do you really think she's not seeing her ex ? do you also really think she wouldn't talk or text message him ? do you think he would stop contacting her , he probably still likes her - and she likes him otherwise she wouldn't agree to see him..

before i get into a ''serious'' relationship i tell the girl my rules ... i tell her if she meets her ex i will do the same '' however 2 weeks before you and i got together i slept with my ex - i don't want to threathen you but i like her and she's a good friend but i don't love her. If you want to see your ex - i want to see mine ''
i sometimes tell this when im in a relationship.

just tell this and see how she will comply, she will dance bro.. believe me ...
i also tell girls if they cheat they will end our friendship, and i will find a better girl

You don't need anyone .... the person who is number one is you .. treat her like she's number 2. If a girl does something you don't like - then probably she wouldn't like it either if you did the same.
thats why you should do the same - because she can't hammer you on that - she's doing it to !

if my girl is flirting with other guys i would do the same ... if i can't do the same ( because of friends or no girls around ) i will withhold sex in front of her face... i would masturbate in bed and tell her she can watch - mb text message some female friends after .... and tell her im not horney enough to fuck her because she flirts so much except with me.

Make her dance .. you always lead. If you can't dance then teach her your way of dancing.

if you got a relationship :

of 1 month or less : communication is shit ... she's probably thinking of other cocks when she's going out.
2 months : fucking buddies ... nothing more ...
5 months : you can communicate about simple problems
1 year to 2 years : most problems are solvable ..... girls can still bitch about complex problems
2 years or longer : i love you ... lets talk ..... but it's still my way or the highway honey

don't think you can be a shrink when you got a relationship 2 months old, don't be captain sensitive or whatever.

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Awesome post Lodewijkp!

Thanks guys for the replies.
Yes awesome post Lodewijkp.

I have a new thread and Im gonna pm you to see if you can reply. Great advice, but need some help.

But about this thread.

I ignored her and she txted to do all the nice things and plz come over.
I went over, we had a great few days. she cooked, we fucked over and over. and one point she was telling me she wants me to fuck her till she's old and kept telling me how she feels.

we had a great week. I teased her and made fun of her and played with her, and we got closer.
but I made a mistake when I got back and now im in trouble... till my next thread lol

think about the other dude that is probably building feelings for her, let her know that "hey this guy probably thinks you got feelings for him too, all guys are like that, you might hurt him if he finds out hes just a friend"

He's out the window right now. I think she realised it didnt make me jealous (i showed it didnt) and he's gone into the friend zone. but she knows guys like her, she likes it and even though she knows, she wont let it on. and I think im gonna tell her, she knows i can know what she's up and if i tell her, she might feel stupid.

thanks dude