Quote:
I know the game. opening,ice breaking, comfort building, amoging, and then I get the number, often exchange numbers. But then I feel like a pussy cause I'm scared, to call them... They sometimes end up calling or texting me. But its just like hey how are you im good... small talk... Could someone thats had this problem help me out?
Usually people are affraid of things when they have no experience ( or not so much ) concerning that situation and thats completely normal. For example approaching a stranger can be very difficult for some people due to the fact that your brains are warning you because you have no idea how it ends. Or you do but because you have bad experiences from the past than your self defence mechanism activates the shield so you wouldnt get hurted again. Does this make any sense?
So how can we breake through this " shield "?
I got a pretty good answer to this when i was doing my leadership business school project and compareing differences between " learnerd leadership " and " genetic leadership ".
The answer was following ( Quote from the page
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m ... ntent;col1 ):
If an individual is not a "natural leader," then what can someone do to adopt leadership qualities? According to Anthony Robbins, a renowned self-help lecturer, behavior modification is the key to change. Every individual is capable of change, providing the will to change is strong enough.
Change is not a factor of thought -- it is based on action. The desire to change will not produce results without behavioral modification.
The avoidance of pain or the search for pleasure prompts every human behavior. The behaviors or feelings that give us pleasure or satisfaction are instinctively fostered and nourished. Pain creates avoidance of behaviors or feelings that cause discomfort. How do we overcome the pain associated with behavioral change? Robbins says pain itself creates the environment for change. Behavioral change is possible when the pain of facing the results of ineffectual leadership is stronger than the reluctance to adopt new leadership approaches.
Robbins asserts that behavior changes when you "interrupt the pattern." One must use other techniques to actually alter behavior. This requires an individual to recognize and acknowledge the "pain" associated with continuing unsuccessful behavioral patterns.
Adopting new behaviors cannot happen overnight, but must be nurtured on a daily basis. Behavior is based on "rituals" -- we are used to reacting in certain ways based on experience or education. These "rituals" result in ingrained habits. The habits we acquire form the basis of our character and, ultimately our destiny in life.
NOTE: What im trying to say here is that
push yourself out from the comfort zone ( By breaking the rutine of not calling to her ) because thats when we really learn something. You face things that you used to be affraid of. And when we do this, you see things differently and you learn something.
[ Johnny B ]