ive been with this girl officially for 1 month and we have fallen for eachother which is good.. before her i was playing around hardcore and now my mind still thinks its in 'game mode' as in i try not 2 see her so she will miss me and not txt back and things along them lines. its very hard 4 me and cant keep it up 4 long cos i miss her terribly , i see her everyday but dont want it 2 become so full on.

it sounds strange but i want her to want me more than i want her. even tho i love her, i use to be always the 1 that the girls chased.. so they liked me more then i did them.. but im very affectionate, i jst cant stop showing her i love her.. and i know she loves it when i do but i dont want to do it so much so then it wont be appreciated..

she msges flat out and always wants to know what i am doing and i love how into me she is...but at times when shes busy and isnt doing that i get a lil bit crazy and crave it. i dont look needy but i dont want to become that way. i try fill my time up as much as i can so im unavailable and cant see her. but then she sooks and really wants 2 see me. i always give in.. which i think shows weakness.

What do you guys think? should i be playing these games. i want to just relax because everything is perfect. but its hard for me 2.

just do what u feel is right... but dont cling to hard if u sense its goin bad with her or she will peace

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wheelin

ok thanks man. does any1 else have this kinda problem?

everyone does, we are all in the same situation, self-control is key and this is where the men separate from the boys. keep ur hand don't show ur cards. bottle up ur feelings, show no more than 1/3 of how u feel. stay mysterious and spontaneous, don't be predictable, focus on other things and other aspects of ur life that's more or equally important, or at least make it seem so. have her do the chasing, keep her guessing. the unknowns of u is like beer, and "once the keg is empty, most likely the party will be over."

DON'T SPILL YOUR BEER. Stay Alpha.

Understand that I mean the least possible level of disrespect by saying this, but what you've written here is nothing if not a guide to having shitty relationships with people.

There is nothing "non-alpha" or "wrong" with confidently expressing one's feelings, especially in a situation like the one the OP describes involving a woman he claims to be so obviously crazy about. Quite the opposite, it takes balls of steel to make yourself vulnerable to another person and trust them not to rip your heart out and spit in the hole, figuratively speaking.

Playing games isn't the same as having game. You can run around and take the chicken-shit way out, never revealing anything real about yourself to your significant other if you want to, but in the end people who risk it all will always have more fulfilling, long-lasting and emotionally rich relationships. Fortune favors the bold.

Your boy,
870

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nice post meng. I know what OP is sayin though. I've been in the position before. it's all about balance, whether you want to call it game or not, there still has to be some strategy in a relationship. i'm the type of guy who likes to express what he's feeling through words. I realized i can't be doin that all the time like i used to even though I feel like doing it. I'd rather keep the relationship healthy and balanced than just doing what I feel cause "she's my girl."

My take on it is that it's a different type of game.

You can go all out and show her how you feel (in a alpha way) and then next day act all aloof and bust her balls in a fun way. Girls love it. I see it all the time in successful relationships around me.

My opinion is that your time with her should leave you feeling satisfied to the point that you're ready to send her on her way the next day so you can start missing each other again.

i really like what you are saying. i understand it and know i cant reveal everything, i do have a problem with telling her my feelings all the time, thats the kinda guy i am when i like sum1. this is my 1st real rship. and i think about it alllll the time. i do need a balance and appreciate all u guys input. ill give you and example of what happened lst night tho.

we were txting a bit.. i was being fairly short and not replying straight away on purpose, she says its weird not seeing me... because it was planned that after work she jst wanted 2 have an early night... so she says good night and i reply with sweet dreams then she txt back and jst said "yup" so i think she doesnt wanna stop talking, so i end up calling her. she usually sleeps over a few nights aweek and i ask her if she is going to 2moro (today) and she says she jst wants an early night, i dont know why but i get offended straight away and then say well i might not see u at all 2moro then.... i dont understand why i get this way... i should jst be happy that i'd see her for a few hours and then go back home.

i jst wanna relax and not care about that stuff when i shouldnt. she can tell straight away that ive cracked it and im afriad that there's always gunna be a problem when she doesnt wanna do stuff she usually does. like i love the days when shes all over me and then times when shes not i crack it and think she doesnt like me or sumthing..... even tho she loves me... im really dnt know the way it should be cos she is my 1st real gf

Just keep working on it. It's a reaction you have to train yourself to avoid. Once you start reacting in a more calm way, and you see the benifits, it gets easier and easier each time.

@ theprize
man if it makes you feel better I am in the exact same situation as you are word for word.

My two cents here is:
You know that you lose a girl by telling her you cannot live without her every second cause it shows that your insecure and cant be ok on your own .

So if you really love her and wanna keep her around wouldnt you do whatever is necessary for it to work? If u do then avoid telling her how much you love her all the time and mix up some cocky and funny lines in the convo putting always yourself on top and the best. girls love it.

I'm in the exact same situation, and theres nothing wrong with it. Its just push-pull. Its the basis of every relationship, just be cocky funny, it'll keep her hooked.

yep

in any way YOU shouldn't depent on your GF ... you have to show that you can be ok on your own. your GF doesn't want a pussy - if you can't be on your own then you are showing your weak ( in my opinion )
well yeah .... the best thing you can do is keep DOING WHAT YOU WANT ... keep developing yourself, go out , go to the gym ,go take helicopter pilot lessons.

the more you develop yourself the more value you add , your girlfriend will see this too.
The best present you can give to your GF is you on your best, don't give in and don't build your life around a woman.

instead build your own life and do what you want relentless, in that way you are more interesting. and keep woman into your life .... don't be out of option.

i see alot AFC guys becoming needy and they love their GF more than she does, they will hang around their GF and become frustrated - BUT above all their life is getting less interesting.

Go gaming and pick up girls ( as long you don't cheat it's ok ) keep socializing and keep social calibrated... don't doze off after you've fucked her - because most guys do , don't stop doing your own shit.

DO AND GO wherever you want and get what you want, be stong, be different, be indivdual , girls love this - they want a cool boyfriend who keep developing his inner self ( + game ).

its freaking cold here .... it's about 8 C degrees now .... my GF asked me if i want to go shopping with her, i told her i'm gonna swim this afternoon.
she was freaking about it .....

1. i was doing what i want
2. i was doing something that's interesting ... how many guys are prepared to step outside their comfort zone ?
3. she admires my guts for diving into the cold water.

im an idiot that swims into freezing cold water and she loves me for it, her ex boyfriend was boring - he dozed off brought flowers everyday and was sitting lazy behind his computer.

i want to keep challenging myself and be unpredictable.... keep your life interesting .. if you keep your life interesting your girlfriend will notice that.
every GF want a BF with a interesting life.[/quote]

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thanks alot guys i like ur advice.... we ended up breaking it off...well i did because she said she didnt feel the same, so i broke up with her and she still wanted 2 be friends, she likes me alot jst doesnt wanna be in a serous relo....so i told her if were broken up i cant talk 2 her or anything..after like only a day or 2 she msged flat out, tried ringing, sent emails... i didnt reply to anything.. i guess i made her see what her life was without me and she hated it,, so were back 2gether but not gf and bf (my idea) and thats the way i want it. its sio much more relaxed now. and the ball is in my court.. i dont give her much...if she says i really missed u,,, i dont say it back i jst say how much? shes into me alot more which im happy about. but still with an open mind that it might not work out,