Ok, I’m back home now. I’ve changed my name to “Captain_Freedom” as “Newbie_uk” was boring
Before I start off the first thing I’m going to say to you is don’t expects results to happen overnight.
It takes time to develop your skills plus you need to be highly motivated and disciplined to continue your journey. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are lots of people who later decide this is too much pressure and fail to continue this self development.
Ok I’ve put this into a story. You asked for detail so don't moan.
Day 1
My knowledge of London is very poor, I have a terrible sense of direction and after parking my car I spent around 10 miinutes wondering around trying to find this place, but too frightened to ask anyone directions.
Eventually I found the street, walked into the building & worked my way up stairs into the top floor (initially I was expecting to see a huge banner saying “PUA training” so I could confirm I was in the right place, sit down then wait. But nothing, just a group of around 12 guys sitting down in a small room waiting.
Even though I knew I was in the correct building, I started to have my doubts that I was at the correct place.
At 26 I think I was the youngest here, the age group varied from 30 – 40, most the guys were well dressed and appear to be very good looking one particular person that came to my attention had these gigantic biceps. You would think he would have no problem picking up girls. My doubts I’m in the wrong room raised even more, Shit!, what do I do now, do I ask someone “hey is this the PUA boot camp” but what if it isn’t, what if they look at me & laugh. I was too ashamed to say anything so I sat down quietly hoping for trainer to arrive.
10 minutes later the trainer arrived introducing himself, a feeling a relief came “whew, I feel much better now”.
He began by talking about how his life was just a year ago where he had no dates, depressed and how the PUA community changed his life.
This structure came across like some sort of alcoholic/drug addict get together group.
We started off by introducing ourselves, “who you are”, “where you’re from” and “what you want to get out of this experience”
I was very open and honest and replied that I has never done an approach before, had major anxiety, can’t maintain conversations and the only experience I has was a failed 6 month relationship which ended 2 years ago.
All I wanted was to be able to approach women, and then work on my sticky points as I develop.
Most the other guys said the same thing, apart from a one person who seemed obsessed with this community. He had already been on many other rival boot camps such as love systems (mystery method). At first this came across as slightly creepy, he must have spent an absolute fortune already.
Yet why is he going for more training, surely his life is sorted out now. His response was “I enjoy attending these boot camps and they’re like a hobby to me. (Bloody expensive one if you ask me, but if you can afford it I guess that kind of cool).
The workshop
The trainer worked though some basic body language exercises for the first hour,
Then another trainer talked us through the approach (not the opener but literally how to walk up and how not to.
We then stopped for lunch.
Day Game
This is where I really started to get nervous, just 3 hours in and we were out in the field opening up single and group sets (1 trainer with 2 students).
Because this training doesn’t involve routines, we were told to open sets with whatever came to our mind.
We walked into HMV, he pointed at a 3 set and said off you go (one of the girls was a 9). I briefly walked towards them, and then I turned back after realising she was with her mum but my trainer reply, so what, go!!!.
The only thing I could think of was “Hey guys, I need a female optional on something, do you know anything good I could get my mum for xmas” (I interacted with the mum first as I read somewhere on the internet this is what you should do.
They were surprisingly helpful and recommend a perfume, can’t remember what one now.
Shortly after I ran out of what to say and left the set saying thank you.
Wow I had finally done an approach
My trainer got me doing this about 3 more times, these were with 1 sets which felt creepy and before I finished the question they walked away saying “ask someone who works here”
Then He upped the game for me. I was instructed to approach direct with a compliment.
I approached a couple 1 sets using the line “that’s a nice scarf / hat / coat.
This did not go very well. I got a creepy look and they immediately walked away.
The feedback I got from my trainer was “you didn’t smile” “talked before you hadn’t even given her a chance to acknowledge you were interacting with her” and “talked too quickly”.
I tried this a few more times with no luck. & my trainer responded “go in with higher energy”.
I kept going into AFC autopilot then crash and burning. But at least I was now doing approaches.
Back in the workshop
After an hour in the field, I was burnt out and glad to get back in the classroom.
I’m not going to bullshit with you; this was an extremely unpleasant experience.
The workshop continued by everyone discussing their filed reports.
To my amazement, around 3 of the guys had number closed (bastards).
The rest of the afternoon continued with trainers’ discussion wing men and the advantage of having one.
Night Game
Before I say anything I played this sober.
As I reached this stage I no longer had AA in fact I had no problems running sets with opinion openers (this felt natural and easy) but was still nervous about what to say after the opener.
Unfortunately I failed to K-close or even number close but definitely got some good IOIs.
Here are two examples:
When walking through the dance floor there was a 7 against the wall dancing then talking to her mate.
My trainer said, go up and say “I like your silly dance, where did you learn from, can you show me again”.
I responded to him, “that’s lame, it’s not going to work” He said “just do it”.
I hesitated but went along and to my surprise she found this funny then I ended up briefly dance with her then I stopped.
I had never done anything like this before without at least 10 pints, I was very uncomfortable as dancing has always been something I was too embarrassed to do and don’t enjoy.
I left this set then my trainer took me downstairs.
I opened a 2 set (nothing special 6s to work on my conversation skills) using “hi guys, do you find guys with hairy chests attractive, my buddy over here is very hairy but I’m not.
This was quite good because it turned into a funny banter session but I keep the conversation on the same topic for too long then went into interview mode. I paused but maintained eye contact. She continued the conversation (IOI). After 5 mins I went completely dry and became uncomfortable again. She wondered off saying I’m looking for one of my friends) I took this as an IOD and left the set.
Day 2
This continued with discussions regarding the field reports from the night game.
I couple of the guys had k-closes but most of us had no success.
From my experience I learned that the secret was to approach with high energy and don’t worry too much about what you say.
Day Game
This time we were out for another hour (1 instructor 2 students) an easy opener I found was to approach anyone with a camera and say “let me take that for you” then move on from there.
As I was running direct approaches I kept making 90% of them jump. (it wasn’t until back in the classroom that I later discovered that I was speaking before they had even realised I was interacting with them, which freaked them out). I big tip here is make I contact, wave if you have too, physically stop in front of you target, say hi, pause then speak.
However despite knowing this I was successful to number close one person though day game.
I started off by complimenting her on her scarf, I then game up with some spontaneous bullshit that I brought my mum a similar one for her birthday last month, then saying “you must have good taste” in a cocky funny way and felt it with my hands as I was comparing the material. (Comfort was starting to build).
The conversation then continued about the rest of her clothes, then shortly after I noticed the accent & commented "where are you from?”
She replied “America”. Suddenly things got easy because I may be moving there for six month for work. Coincidently when she asked where abouts?, it was where she was brought up (even better).
The conversation continued for 5 mins moving onto theme park rides then I shortly asked “how can I stay in contact” whilst pulling out my phone at the same time. (The trainers told me never say “can I have your number”, instead pull out you phone assuming they will give their number to you and say “how can we stay in touch”. Or if all fails say “fine add me as a friend on facebook”.
While changing numbers I then came up with a plan to ask some random person walking pass to take a picture of us for me (a chance to get more kino in and remember what she looks like).
Night Game.
This time we were working as wingmen all night. I would open a setup with the most basic situational opener, then my wingman would jump in 1 min later saying “oh, I’ve found you” I would then introduce him to the set (the rest of the set were happy to say hi to my wingman even though I had only interacted with my target and not even spoken to the others).
We took turns changing roles.
I opened another set who were sitting down facing the opposite direction (bad idea).
They briefly looked over, responded, and then turned around again. I left the set as I felt uncomfortable
My wingman opened a 2 set (which 5 mins later became a 4 set).
Both I and wing kept pausing and running out of things to say. I left the set leaving my wingman alone, telling my target “I’m going for a drink”.
My trainer was not impressed, he said “why did you leave, it was going well, get back in”.
I then got a drink (water, yes not one drop of alcohol that night) & rejoined the set continuing the conversation with “what are your passions” (by the way leaving the set with “I’m going for a drink” is a great line because you can rejoin with no problem. Had I said “see you later got to go” rejoining would had been hard.
To my amazement I spoke for about 30-60 mins with the odd pause. I could have done with a 2nd wing, because when the conversations went dry, she spoke to her 2 other friends whilst my wing was talking to his target.
Fuck, now I had to jump start the conversation with something more interesting than her friends.
I then used “if you could be a super hero, who would you be?” This didn’t work to well as she responded boringly “why would I want any powers” but she found my answer amusing. During this hour I had clearly developed comfort but totally lost on how to escalate.
I left the set again this time without saying anything. Spoke to the trainer again for advice to escalate, he said tease her (this wasn’t helpful).
I rejoined the set, started conversation again but could find a way to apply kino.
Shortly after, three off them decided to advance to the dance floor apart for the one my wingman was speaking to.
So I thought to myself, great an easy opportunity to get close. (Bearing in mind I’d had drunk no alcohol at all and find dancing embarrassing) I then follow then up and went to grab my targets arm but she pulled away. I started to become quite negative after knowing I’d just wasted an hour with this set.
By this time I was exhausted, the trainers had gone home about 30 mins ago, so I call it a night.
Conclusion
I attended this boot camp to destroy my approach anxiety and maintain conversations.
This was well worth because I’m a much more confident person. Using opinion/situational opens are easy now (don’t waste time using ones online, make you own up, they’re more natural).
Direct takes a lot of balls and if you’re going to do this, it must be genuine and with a smile or you will fail.
Pickup isn’t something you can master in a couple of days and you cannot learn from just reading books. You will gain far, far more knowledge from in the field. I would advise you to forget about all the complex theories, negs, DHV stories, and routines to start off with.
Begin with simple effort goals, like I’m going to approach 5 women a day and reward yourself somehow.
Instead of I’ll just have one more drink then approach that woman I’ve been looking at for the last hour.
Make a rule like, I have to open up a set before I’m allowed a drink, even if it’s just saying hi then walking away, that’s an approach.
You have to accept it will take months of rejection before you can become a competent PUA but it can only get easier each time.
My next goals are:
To find wing man to keep me motivated.
Taking voice tonality/projection classes (maybe)
Start taking Yoga classes (my trainer said this will help me with nerves, plus is full of hot women)
CHAT
