OK, not sure how to deal with this.

I've definitely built up a load of attraction with this girl over a week or so, have been seeing her for a few hours each day through classes etc. She's definitely attracted to me, I get loads of IOI's and her friends have been talking to me about how much she's into me. I've done loads of C&F, loads of kino, and she's often offering her hand etc and wanting me around.

BUT I've found out through the grapevine that she's definitely seeing some guy. Apparently its quite a new thing, they only met a few days before I met her. She's also really into him apparently, the difference if they've been on dates etc. Don't know how far he's escalated, but I'm not convinced its gone too far.

So how do I get round that? Do I just ask her on a date? My first instinct is to do what I would normally - get her out for coffee or something, and if she mentions this guy I'm thinking something like 'is he your boyfriend' (she'll say no) so I'll say 'well then, what's the problem?' or something, with a standard 'your loss' kind of thing if she still says no.

Or do you guys reckon that I need to do something more before making that step? We're both going to a party on Saturday that this guy definitely won't be at, that's the time I'm going to decide by.

Cheers for any ideas guys.

EDIT: Thought it might seem a bit like one-itis. It's not, its just that its rare for me to find a girl I'd actually like to date rather than just get with, so it would be good if I could make this work. Cheers.

Hi DRG,

it's interesting that you're getting lots of info from friends of this girl and not direct from her.

There is a possibility that shes playing both of you.Or either.

One idea may be to calmly ask her if she does have a boyfriend? Or subtly ask about being played? And see how she reacts. Guage her reactions and take it from there. It's best to act as normal as possible, but find out from her direct.

Or simply ignore what you've heard about this other boy and carry on as if you do not know.

Good point, definitely. The feeling I get is that she may not have mentioned it simply because either she wants to keep my interest and is worried I might back down, or because its not something that just randomly comes up in conversation.

Any ideas how to approach it? I've known her for a couple of weeks now, seems strange after a long time saying 'do you have a boyfriend'!

DRG,

Okay it probably is too weird to ask about a boyfriend at this stage and may show insecurity if done wrong.

If you're subtle you could tell her a story about girls having more than 1 boyfriend. You know, say something like my friends friend once knew a girl who was playing lots of boys off each other. It's probably best to talk briefly about weird behaviour of people or something like that first so you can lead to this.

I would be tempted to play along as if blissfully ignorant of this other guy.

If they have only been dating for a few days, then it's hard to even call it a relationship - it's more likely she is just keeing her options open and possibly playing you both..

i think Skypirate is right with his blissful ignorance thought..

if you can manage to keep being fed information from her friends about the actions of this other guy; dates, gifts etc..

then you have the upper hand in being able to out-do him everytime..

this is if you really want to accually start seeing this girl..?

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"They were right when they said "just be yourself" they just never told you what "self" to be.." - Gunwitch

Just ask her out for a coffee or something, in the worst case you can say that you're interested in one of her friends, and say that you thought she was pretty close to her, so you'd ask what her friend's into etc

Then you can back out by saying that there's another girl you met in town (and is really into you) that you're potentially going to see...


let us know how it goes,

Strategy

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Life's a game, let' play...

Cheers for the ideas guys, here's an update.

Saturday night, there was a big party we were at. Long story short I isolated, and was about to k-close when she backed away and told me she'd made a bit of a commitment to this other guy. Then she told me how much more she liked me than this other bloke. She didn't want anything to happen with us that night because technically she was committed, and felt it was morally wrong. Obviously I think its wrong for her to be with someone when she likes me more but hey...

So problem is now what to do. He'll be getting her attention far more. I've backed off for the last 48 hours, have spoken to her once and kept it very flirty which she responded well to. I can't work out if its a good idea to push a breakup with this guy, cause he's from a different social circle to me and I don't know him at all. If she feels I persuaded her to do it and it goes bad with that circle and her there'll be some resentment. We're both going to a social event on Friday, any ideas?