Hello all..
I was recently thinking of this subject, how to make a girl feel special in an alpha, non-afc way...
What I have come to realize is that as long as you keep an alpha body language and tone voice, basically everything you say comes out as non afc ... Also, the way you say it...
But still, what are some ways to make a girl feel special, feel that you like her, without sounding needy and afc...?

Good question, and I'm interested to see what comes out of it. You hit something when you said it's all about frame.

I also think that whatever you do (buy gifts, compliment, etc..), if you give it the feeling or frame of 'I'm doing this because I'm affraid you won't stick around with me' it will be very AFCish.

_________________
Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

And if you buy her gifts, and frame it like
just a surprise, or a small detail, not because you're scared of loosing her but because you like her, it will have more impact!

Buuump =)

I'm sure that most on here would disagree, but at some point in the relationship, there has to be enough trust that AFC-like gestures will be met with reassurance and appreciation.

If you're not at that point however, most theory would tend to discourage gift-giving, unless it is warranted. You don't buy a girl a drink unless she has done something deserving of a reward. (I'm not suggesting that your girl is Pavlov's dog btw)

I think you'll want to shy away from the "no reason, just because I love you" gifts unless you're well into your relationship trust-wise. You can always give gifts for occassions, and try to work some game into it as well.

Ex: This is for you to celebrate the 10 day anniversary of our first bath together. What? You mean you didn't get me anything? How could you not remember you insensitive jerk? Ugh, I guess I'll give it to you anyways.

If you give it some thought, you'll be able to come up with ways to game using gifts.

Gifts as negs:

If you're still feeling each other out, then getting her a little something can be used as a neg (I got you this because a woman of your age should own one).

Lets say that you draw her a bubble bath with salts, flower pedals, candles, the whole nine, you could do it and say that this because you watched the football game with me without talking through the entire fourth quarter.

Gifts as rewards:

I bought you this amazing bouquet of flowers because you picked me up from the airport.

I picked out this black dress for you because you were so great with my parents the other day.

I got these earrings for you because you made me laugh my ass off last night.

Etc.


Gifts for Kino:
I got this book on palm-reading for us.

I booked us a couples' massage next week.

Could work for NLP, etc too I think.