I've been in a relationship with a girl for about a month. We're not officially a couple, yet; She wants to go slow and I'm fine with that. I looking for some advice, and a few techniques that I can maybe use over time that will help me "seal the deal".

Most of our relationship so far has consisted of texting and phone conversations. We've only met twice, both times went pretty well. Neither of them were really dates, just more about seeing each other. The second time was yesterday and I can tell that she's interested because she's making future plans for us to see each other again. My problem is that I'm a very quiet person. I've always been more of the listening type, but she's always saying how I'm so quiet and such. It's really the fact that I'm a shy person. I'm just worried that it may hinder our relationship in the future and I need some help.

This has friend zone written all over it.

You need to kiss her and pretty quickly otherwise she'll think you're too wimpy to date. And women are looking for protectors. Make a move on her.

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this is QFT completely true. make ur move or say goodbye to dating her.

we know u can do it man! just go for it! keep us posted!

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-moony

Well, before I could even lift a finger, she dropped me in the "friend zone". I was kinda crushed to say the least.

She said she's still on for our plans in the future though, which was a bowling night. Is there any way I can maybe ease my way back into her scope?

my advice would be to tell her you wanted to make a move but were too shy to do so, she should be really flattered by the fact she comes off as intimidating to you, that or too dumb not to be..good luck

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que sara sare, LET THAT SHIT RIDE

I very much doubt this would work. Saying you're too shy to kiss a girl and suggesting you're intimidated by her is a big DLV in my opinion..

The friend zone is hella-hard to get out of. That's why ANYTIME I meet a girl I'm interested in, she will know it right away. Whether I meet her through friends, daytime, club, wherever...within a few minutes she knows that I have dirty plans for us. And I always believe she is down for it, until she gives me a reason not to believe it.

This works because I never fall directly into the friend zone, per se. Either it works and I get the lay soon after OR it doesn't work and things are still fine between us.

Coming sexual from the beginning is not as risky as it seems, in my opinion. In a good scenario, she's yours that night.

In a bad scenario, she's not yours that night but when she thinks of you or sees you, she'll know the reason you're interested in her. When she sees you she'll think to herself, "That guy wants to sleep with me." This will probably not get you invited to go shopping with her at the mall (what guys really want to do that anyway), but it will put you in a great position to continue the flirtation and close in the future.

I can't even tell you how many girls I've gotten from coming directly at them the first time I met them, they show no interest and completely blow me off. Then magically the next time I see them, it's on and they come home with me. If not the 2nd time I see them, then the 3rd time.

Knowing someone wants to sleep with you is a good thing, right? Girls feel the same way.

Firstly, this is really bad advice. Girls do NOT respond well to logic. By saying the above you are trying to logically explain why you didn't make a move on her and it won't interest her in the slightest.

Girls respond to EMOTIONS. Ever wondered why girls KEEP going back to the bad boys even though they know LOGICALLY what they are doing is wrong and they will just end up getting hurt? They do this because those exact same bad boys, stimulated their emotions and got them excited and wet.

Right now, you are going to be confused as hell and you WILL be tempted to explain to this girl logically what you did wrong. You will be tempted to ask her why she dropped you in the friend's zone and if she was ever attracted to you.

All you need to understand is that, she WAS attracted to you because she wouldn't have taken a whole month to drop you in the friend zone. All she was doing was waiting for you to step up to the FUCKING mantle and SWEEP her off her feet.

If you had done this in the first place you would be railing her right now. Anyway, that is all in the past.

Now, getting back to you. Young man, you need to decide what it is YOU want to do now. Girls are little puppy dogs. They need direction. And this girl is a little puppy dog who has probably dropped you in the friend's zone from the advice of her friends and your lack of action.

You're on the back foot now so if you act in a passive aggressive manner (what the PUAs call a freeze out) this will NOT work. She won't be missing you because you haven't demonstrated you are worth dating - hence she has nothing to miss out on.

When this bowling date comes around text her and sell it to her as a fun outing.
If she texts back, CALL her up and fluff, joke with her it doesn't matter. All you are doing is lessening the likely hood of her flaking.

Then when you get to go on a date with her. Flip all her emotions, don't talk about her putting you in the friend's zone and how emotionally traumatised you were.

Just escalate and show how unaffected you are and how you're having too much fun with your life to even care.

I'm not going to lie to you and say this is going to be easy because it won't be.
But you are on this forum because you a mother fucking PUA. You're the man. RUN the show.

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One thing I forgot to mention was that she's sort of religious, so I can't exactly do anything too sexual to her or with her. When she said we'd should just be friends, the reason she gave me was that she was confused and didn't know what she wanted. I'm 99.9% sure she's talking to another guy, so I have some competition.

I talked to her on the phone last night for a good hour, didn't mention anything about her dropping me or anything. I tried to be much more talkative, talking about fun times we had and stuff, which I think she noticed because she said something a long the lines of "you're acting different". I didn't know what to say, so I played it off. We even celebrated at 1:04am, which is the time she met me one month ago. Towards the end of the conversation, she said "Ugh, what am I gonna do with you?" and kind of giggled. I was so tempted to reply "you should give me a chance to let me sweep you off your feet", but I didn't know of that would of pissed her off or anything, so I just said "Just don't shelve me".

She's still texting me constantly, which I guess is a good thing. She didn't drop me into the friend zone and forget about me.

Yeah she's calling and texting you constantly because it really never was late to move out of the friend zone. Just be a guy that interests her. Thats it.


You became more talkative and whatnot and she obviously loved that! Just keep confident in yourself. Keep her interested and keep talking.. then maybe when its the appropriate time give her a kiss.

Earlier tonight she invited me to church with her. I agreed to tag along.

Yes, you are on the right track.

Keep engaging with her and keep her in your peripheral.

Remember, being passive aggressive doesn't work.

FORGET all this nonsense that she's a sweet catholic girl. Make, no mistake. All girls sweet or bitchy are after the same things - A guy who is confident and fun and sexually aggressive. Don't ever forget this.

You forgetting this is WHY it got to the friend zone stage in the first place.

All you have to do is keep engaging with her and organise another date 1-1. But don't sell it as a date. Sell it as a fun/ hang out.

Lastly, I think you might be spending too much time on the phone and with text messages. The best way to try and seduce this girl is one to one in person. So get busy planning a hang out alone.

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She called me around 1:00am tonight crying, saying how bad she feels and she doesn't understand why I'm even still talking to her. I told her that she means too much to me to do just up-and-leave her. I just tried my best to console her, saying if it was meant to be, things will work out. She started crying really hard and said she'd call me back. I guess she got it out because like 15 minutes later she called me back, I could tell she had just cried really hard. Her voice was trembling at first and she was sniffling. She started to collect herself and eventually we were joking around and stuff, we even 3-way prank called her sister who was downstairs. I just did my best to make her happy again. At one point, she said "Wow, I've never seen this side of you before", by her tone I knew she meant that in a good way.

During the mid-parts of our conversation, she was like "the first time I talked to you, I was like 'wow, he's like the most amazing guy ever'" and I responded with "I thought the same thing, but you really are amazing", but she quickly said "ugh, I don't wanna go there". Thankfully that wasn't a conversation killer, we talked for another 2 or 3 hours after that. She also mentioned at some point that she could tell I was becoming more relaxed and open when I talk to her, which is true.

In the conversation, she also was talking to her sister (who came up to see if it was up who pranked her) and she started making plans to doing something next time I came over, which I didn't hear what it was since I couldn't hear her very well, but I did agree.

At the end, she said she'd text me when she woke up.

So just since I've been dropped into the friend zone, we've already made plans to see each other 2 more times (church, plus whatever she was talking about to her sister), plus the bowling trip which was planned over a week ago. So that 3 opportunities. I'm just hoping she doesn't flake, but I don't think she will because she seems genuinely interested.

I'll talk to her about maybe going to the movies or something like that really soon. I don't wanna make too many plans too fast and her feel bombarded. Once we get one of the already established plans knocked out, I'll set up another.

I think I'm on the right track... I hope I'm on the right track.

This sounds to me like a big oneitis man - sure, be interested in her and everything, there's nothing wrong with that. But don't end up being too interested in her, cos that can just turn to obsession - trust me I have my share of experience on that . Don't focus all your attention on her - make sure you have other girls you see and talk to as well as her as this will help your confidence and prevent you from being too hurt if this girl doesn't go anywhere.

It sounds like you've imagined this 'relationship' to be more than it actually is, have you only met her a few times? Have you kissed her? Talking on the phone for hours and hours to someone you don't know that well is pretty weird I think - what do other people think of this?
A while ago, when I was a big AFC I used to speak on the phone to this girl for hours every night and it lead nowhere except a bored make-out in the back of a cinema - and a huge phone bill . It didn't make her want to be with me more in the slightest.

Like someone else has said, I'd try and keep your text and phone conversations to a minimum and focus on seeing her in person because A. You'll have more to talk about in person and B. Interacting with her in person is going to be so much more productive seeing as you will be able to use touch, eye contact, body language etc etc.

You've obviously made an impact on her if she phones you up crying - that or she could be very inexperienced, but good job on cheering her up.
I'm sure there are a hell of a lot more experienced people on here that can help - but your posts kinda reminded me of myself a few years ago so that's my two cents. Good luck

No, no no no no. Young man, you are NOT heading on the right track at the moment.

Let's make this clear. Do not under any circumstances have these long drawn out emotional conversations with her. This is what she expects from her girlfriends. This is what GIRLS do. She will associate emotional unsteadiness with you because that is all she talks about with you.

So stop this.

When she gets into that state again cut her off and say something like,' C'mon girl, you sound kinda upset, let's go out and have fun eating chocolate chip icecream. What you doing ________. Or ________?'

Your answer was bad. Why? Because she just dropped you in the friend's zone and you basically tried to build a rapport through an insincere statement. This is how SHE will see it regardless of whether it is true or not. 'He still wants into my panties'

A better answer would have been, ' Yeah you're kinda amazing too except you talk too much and you're sickenly annoying!'

This girl is STILL into you. She WANTS to be swept off her feet. At the moment, you're telegraphing to her that it is OK for her to drop you in the friend zone and you will behave like her little bitch who she wines too.

Oh and don't try and organise something as formal as a trip to the cinema. It will sound too much like a date. Organise a casual hang out and kino with this girl when you see her.

Step it up man.

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