Hi everyone! This is my first post. I met a girl today in a dance class. I'm a decent dancer. I introduced myself, made her laugh and giggle, and she was blushing when we danced together. After class I asked her to go to the club next door to dance some more. We were having fun, building rapport, etc, and she said she had to go since she lived VERY far away from the class, which was true. I walked her a little ways to the subway, (this was in Times Square) and then I told her I still felt like dancing and was going back to the club and asked her if she wanted to get together "tomorrow night". She was hesitant, and said she MIGHT have to go to a dinner but wasn't sure. This confused me, because I figured if she wanted an excuse to say no, she would have just said she was busy for sure. My instinct told me she was trying to get out of it. I asked her if she wanted to get together Saturday or Sunday, and she went "uhhm.... ok.... I...."

I don't actually remember what she said, I just remember a lot of hesitation in her voice. At that point I said "Do you have a boyfriend?", because my gut was telling me she did. And she Blushed and smiled and said yes. I said "Ok, I don't want to mess with that. He's lucky." She smiled and said "Thank you." And I turned and went back to the club and danced all night.

My question is, did she really have a boyfriend? Was she attracted to me? I decided to ASK if she had a boyfriend because I seem to get that excuse very rarely. More likely, the girl gives me her number, agrees to a date, and then never returns my call or makes up some weird excuse to cancel, usually via text message. Girls almost never tell me they have boyfriends. I think there is no way all these girls I approach could be single. Why don't they just say that they are with someone when I ask them out? Are they afraid I will get mad? I'm always a gentleman. I hate dating girls with boyfriends. Is it good policy to ask that question? I don't mind being direct. If I ask a girl out, I want her to know it's because I'm attracted to her, not because I want to be her friend. I would rather eliminate someone right away than have them flake. Should I ask if they have a boyfriend?

Why? If you ask you are telling her you are intersted in her, and that will make her uncomfortable. She will tell you if she wants you to back off. Just listen.

_________________
Walk Hard

No.

You want to eventually be sexually forward enough so that she tells you that she has a boyfriend whether she has one or not. Then, keep going forward.

Well, in a way, I WANT her to know that I'm interested in her. I don't want her to be my friend, I want to date her. I'm not saying you are wrong, I'm just saying I like to be direct. I appreciate your response.

Well, okay, but what would you have done differently? I only had about 10 minutes to actually talk with her. I think she may really have had a BF and then started to feel guilty for being there with me.