My first field report on this board is going to be somewhat out of the ordinary.

To set the scene, I have recently come out of an LTR and I am still a bit cut up about the whole thing. So when I went to my cousin's birthday party last night, I wasn't expecting to be on my best form. We're all Greek, living in London by the way.

We arrived at the venue early, and my wing (who also happens to be a family friend) and I settle into what we reckon is going to be a light evening out of quiet socialising.

2 jokes, 1 drink, 30 seconds and a lot of loud laughing later, a HB8 (my scale is messed up so just picture Liv Tyler) walks in, planting a kiss on the cheek of my cousin who is standing in the doorway. She has 2 greasy looking Mediterranean guys with their tongues clamped firmly to her ass following her around.

3 seconds, 6, 9... oops there goes that rule. To cut to the chase, a few hours go by with me forgetting about her and talking to a variety of other people that I have known for a long time, until at one stage I see her chatting to one of the guys she came in with not too far away.

S: (to AMOG) Hey dude, you can't be Greek.
AMOG: Well actually I am mate. (looking at me with a wtf expression all over hsi face)
S: So why haven't you got your girlfriend a drink then? Greeks are supposed to be charming, like me.
AMOG: *Laughs* yeah but she's not my girlfriend.
S: *Looking at her* why not? What's wrong with her? *kino*
HB: Hehe we've been friends for years.


We fluff for a minute and I ask them how they know my cousin and all that junk, then my wing turns up, and claps me on the back, then engages the set. We talk for a while, then the table football table right next to us frees up and we play a game. I suck by the way, but she's worse and in goal opposite me, so we win the game.

As it's finishing, I say

S: Hey, you still have no drink and mine's empty. Lets play a game and the loser buys the winner a drink.
HB: Ha! Ok, but I warn you that I am pretty good at games.

We play the 5 question game and she loses, so I get her to buy me a drink (which amused me quite a bit I must admit).

I fluff a bit more, with some pretty outrageous kino, and I can tell that she is loving it. Then they bring the birthday cake out. By this stage though I am a few drinks further than I should be if I am trying to pickup, and I am beginning to feel pretty bad about my x girlfriend, so I decide to eject and leave the night in my head as just another night of good practice.

S: Listen, it was nice meeting you, but I should get back to my friends.
HB: Yeh, but lets get together some time and have a drink. *Reaches for her phone*
S: Tell you what. If you spell my name right, you can give me your number. It's ************* (Fat chance in hell of her getting that)
HB: Hey that's not fair! I bet it's something like ******* ...? *Gets it wrong*
S: Nope, but pretty close. *I spell it out for her* It's a real shame coz I felt like we were having a good time.

Then I gave her a light but lingering kiss on the cheek and walked away thinking to myself about what a complete moron I must be not to have got her number.

But this is the odd bit. She must have asked around, and got my name off someone or just memorised its spelling because she looked me up on facebook and sent me this gem.

"It's a good thing you tested me on my spelling of your name. We lost each other post birthday cake even though I was clearly enjoying our conversation..."

She sounds hungry for some more. Maybe there will be a part 2. I am just not sure how to reply considering I think I may need some time to get over my my LTR...

IMO the best way to get over a LTR is to get back in the field (however this does not universally apply to everyone, so be carefull with taking this advise). The downside of this is
a. If your LTR finds out (oh well, sucks for her)
b. If you get back together
c. Not getting validation can make your situation worse. This scenario might be plausible because a persons game is usually messed up after a LTR.

If I were you, and getting back together was not an option, I´d go for it! If you´re still not sure: You don´t have to f-close. There´s experience in it for you no matter how you go on.

That being said, I sympathize with your situation mate. Post-LTR can suck.

if u can make such a good impression when ur openly 'not on ur game' then good for you, i doubt i'd play it that well if i was on top form (v new to this)

Personally i'd have got the number and not felt too bad about that, theres still no pressure to do anything meaningful (i.e sleep with her etc), so no need to feel too guilty right? Like everyone in this thread will say, u'll feel better once ur back on the horse, but dont rush for the sake of it

Well it probably came off like I played it really well, but when you consider that I was at my cousin's party and knew almost everyone in the room, that's a hell of a lot of social proof.

It's hard to feel like you have much to lose when you have just come out of a serious relationship, so I was looking at this girl and talking to her like she didn't have anything I wanted other than the ability to help me have a nice time that night. Psychologically, for a girl as hot as she was (most of my friends would have called her a HB9), it's almost a stain on her honour that I wasn't acting as if I wanted to get my tongue down her throat.

Inside her mind = This guy is not falling for me -> I am not being attractive enough -> I need to try harder to be more attractive -> If I am trying this hard to be attractive, it must mean I like him...

It's like an inbuilt neg. I am not advising anyone to go sarging by not expressing any interest in the girl, but that underlying current about not being too bothered about the outcome of the whole thing seemed to really work out yesterday. When a girl like that hunts you down on facebook in order to send you an SOI, whether you're interested or not under your current circumstances, it's still a good idea in my book to analyse the game that led to that.

Well played man, I love it.

_________________
He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.
He who makes a PUA out of himself accentuates the pleasure.

loved the way you showed her
that she's got nothing to offer
you!

hey just goes to show that staying
hung up on some1 just aint gonna
cut it, one needs to experience
something new regularaly or else
we just get bored...
keep it up man!

white_russian