How's it done?

This isn't a regular one-itis post, though I'm developing it a little bit

Bit of background. I'm a club promoter in London, (top clubs), great social circle, great connections, pretty high value life style. All that + the shit you guys have taught me means I get a lot of chicks. I'm dating 3 girls SPAM, and have sex on a minimum weekly basis.

There's one girl, call her HBCute. I met her hosting a bday party a few weeks ago (VIP table, good club, etc). She was cold at first but came around pretty fast, asked for my number, etc. She introduces me to her friend HBFoxy, who ends up kissing me in the club, and we kind of hook up drunkenly (me and HBFoxy). HBFoxy is HBCute's best friend. I like HBCute. Texted her a few days later, and since then I've been on a few dates with her.

Here's the situation: she calls me a player (good, kind of), and there's not much I can do to deny that (not that I try), being as when I go out to most clubs around London I'll bump into chicks who I recognize, etc. And I hooked up with her best friend the night I met her.

Thing is, I don't just want a fuck (I could have fucked her the night I met her, she told me she wanted me etc.)... I want a girlfriend, and this chick is top notch. Small time model, stunning, great personality, really fun.

When I'm with her, she seems very passionately into me, saying I'm the best guy she's met in London, telling me how hot I am blabla. But then she says she's afraid of getting her heart broken and how she doesn't trust players, etc.

I've tried everything, we have a great connection, lots of attraction, lots of comfort. But she won't sleep with me ("until she trusts me" she claims), and always says she doesn't think I like her enough etc.

Finally, recently she's started to get flaky on me, ignoring msg's half the time, being very late for dates, claiming she's sick and can't see me, etc.

So... without losing value, how would I go from having a girl: attracted to me and comfortable with me, and turn her into my girlfriend?

How do you lose the player reputation without losing value?

You're trying to qualify yourself to her.

You're DLVing hard by doing this.

Unless you can flip it and get her to qualify herself to YOU then this game is dead. Number 1 rule: ALWAYS make sure they are the one chasing you. Don't chase them.

Suggestions:
Look into ways to make a girl qualify herself to you.
Look up LMR and how to overcome it.
If you're going to go down the road of qualifying yourself to her then you need to sell it with some DHV about being tired of not having real relationships and wanting some love. Etc.
Get your research hat on.

_________________
Carpe Diem

Check out an Adams Lyons' video. I think it's from the 2009 under 21 convention. There's a thread about it in the video section on this site. (sorry it's hard to check at the mo, let me know if you have trouble finding it and i post the link when i get chance)

He talks about some NLP stuff, frame transformation and stuff like that. He doesn't go into too much detail but theres a great example for this.

Basically when a girl says about you being hot and having loads of girls and chicks and generally being a player. Don't deny it. Stand up for yourself and say stuff like:

"yeh, your right, i am a good looking guy, i am an alpha male, girls really do want me. But you know what? that always means i never find that one special girl, that one girl that likes me for me, and can see past my good looks and charm, to get to know the true me"


Your still DHV and agreeing with her but your adding a different perspective to the whole thing, and showing her that random sex isn't all your after, without seeming afc and losing value.

Obviously only use this is if you really do respect her and you really are going to be faithful, if your serious about getting further with this girl, these techniques can work wonders. You can re-word it as much as you want to make it seem natural for you but as long as the basic concept is still there it seems to work brilliant. I did it with my current girlfriend and we have a lot of trust in our relationship now. It's a great thing.

Check out the video if your interested anyway, there's some really good stuff and you do seem genuinely into her, which is good.

Good luck mate! keep us posted.

I think where you went wrong was not trying to hook up with HBCute sooner. In my experience, it's way easier to turn a girl you've already slept with into a girlfriend. If the sex is good, then she'll want to be around you more. When you offer to take care of her, she'll be excited.

If she was hanging out with you and into you and now she's flaking and being shady, her interest in you is obviously not what it used to be. Looks like you're falling into the dreaded friend zone.

If it was me I'd let it go for a couple of weeks, not worry about calling, and go about my business. If you randomly run into her, then assess how the interaction goes.

If you are still hooked on her, then call her randomly in a couple of weeks and see what she's up to.