Hi, i have an issue with a hb9 i could be interested in! We're both on exchange semester in China for another four months very far away from where we come. - She has been living here for 1 year with her boyfriend (5 years), who works here.

I have a strong sense that she misses action and exitement in her relationsship plus that I recieve ioi's almost every time we see each other (the kind of ioi's hb's with bf's do when they know they shouldn't, e.g. staring longer than normal, saying wierd stuff just to get in contact, being curious about what i have done, where iv'e been etc.)

I'm pretty sure that she will dodge C&F boyfriend destroyers (plus that i kind of want her to take the step only if she really wants to. I don't like the thought of destroying something beautiful, but i have no problem with saving both of them from a boring, routine-based relationship:) So my question is: What experience do you have with long-term (serious)bf-destroying?

Thank you very much!
N

Heres the thing- you gotta go for the all or nothing approach.
Tell her you want to hook up with her and she should leave her boyfriend.

Because:
1. Girls in long term relationships usually just don't end things unless its really drawn out and dramatic.

2. My experience is that some girls like to create drama by tempting another guy as far as he will go, just to get a rise from her BF.

3. If the guy moved over to china for his GF, or she for him, then they have committed a lot to each other- (financially/ socially)- this has attached guilt that the girl may not want to deal with even if she wants to move on.

My suggestion- if your gonna go for it, go for it hard and be prepared for the dramatic results. But in the end I think if you care about this girl your just going to be the one who gets screwed so don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Ive probably screwed up about 4 long term relationships- its my gift.

Hi, thank you very much for your answer!

So today she comes to my apartment to get some music she wanted from me, but i sort of did not really make any moves. Don't know why, guess i feared rejection and couldn't think of any appropriate routines or any ideas..? - What do you guys typically pull off in a situation like that? (In my apartment alone, during the day, both going to the same meeting in about two hours)

Well, i guess it's the crossroads problem - all or nothing. I wonder though how much the timing means, my rationale being that i need to escalate to get her even more attracted than she is now before i reveal intensions...?

What i need to consider carefully though is not entering the LJBF-zone