Jsmooth, glad to see you are still around!

So I got an email back from a pretty hot chick - I had written her once and she didn't write back. I've been calling chicks "flake" and I really seem to get a response (cause so many of them are / they get so many emails it's easy to get lost in the early stages). Not sure why that is, but...this is her email. I guess she didn't get the first one.

well hey, flake i didn't know this was a take 2. do you still have all that facial hair? i gotta admit, i'm not a fan of facial hair. hahaha. how is your week going?

Ang

So she kind of negged me...she does say in her profile that she loves a guy who speaks her mind and is confident (don't they all;) ) Any ideas on how to turn this around again? Thanks J!

Alisterio,

This is not that complicated for us really. We do nothing we just go about things are normal. There is no need to neg back or to play off her little facial hair neg. Doing that would "add value" to what she did and it would be a mistake. Simply tell her about your week and keep building rapport with her as you normally would.

You can't show that stuff like this bothers you because ultimately who cares what she thinks. She isn't your girlfriend...maybe if she's lucky enough you'll let her be your girlfriend. Remember that you are the prize and you have standards she has to live up to as well.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey, how come you didn't reply to my post? I could really do with your help

Willie,

My apologies I must have overlooked it when I was going back and responding to everyone getting caught up.
The proof is in the results. If this opener isn't getting you the results you want then feel free to change it. Going direct is what works for me. Now with this opener I can see it working better in person than online. Opening with a compliment isn't necessarily bad but it needs to be a more sincere compliment.

Saying she is pretty or gorgeous is nice but she hears that from a lot of people. Part of what we pride ourselves on is our ability to stand out in a good way. Find something about a photograph or something she said to compliment her on instead. This is entirely an example but "I had to message you to tell you that in the picture where you are looking back at the camera you are particularly mesmerizing. But what I think most people don't get about you is why. I think it's the symetry in your face that gives you that awesome appearance...I'm Jon by the way. Pleasure to meet you."

Then of course you are asking them to break free of facebook or myspace to chat with you on MSN. Well that is cool but you need to build her up and let her get to know you a little bit more before you escalate to talking on a normal chat. That's what I refer to escalating comfort in some of my previous posts.
Awesome question. Well how long really depends on if you your own calibration. Do you feel that she is responding because she is genuinely interested in you. Is she writing short responses that are just answering your questions or is she expanding on what you say in an attempt to keep the conversation going? If by these you know she's interested in you and you have spent a few hours total talking to her online it's usually a good time to ask her to meet.

When I ask anyone to meet me from the Internet it's always in a public place at first for Safety! I like being outdoors as most of my good friends know. I walk or run almost every day. I have invited girls to do anything from dinner, drinks, coffee, or go for a walk at a park with me. The best are when you have an activity to do like shooting pool, walking, laser tag, arcades, etc.

When you are sitting across from a "stranger" trying to make conversation in awkward moments over coffee and dinner it's tough. Plus girls have been on these uncomfortable dates before and they don't look forward to them really. So I try and make it easier by having an activity to do that way all the focus isn't just on making conversation. It eliminates a lot of pressure and makes it easier for her to say YES to the date.

I hope this post helps you on your journey!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks

I smoked pot before fall break because I was soo happy that we will all get a 4 day weekend. So I started to flirt with everyone in my first period class and literally owned the whole class to my self (i usually talk to girls i find attractive one by one, not one after the other) I was on a role! I was like talking to 4 hot cheerleaders at once. I was like you all are beautiful but beauty is common and shit like that. I was like teasing them on how no one can hear them in our football game and stuff like that. I play defensive end by the way.

But anyways, there is this new girl that recently moved to our school. She was in my first period class. I was talking to everyone then, i stood up then approached her. I talked to her for like 1 minute then omfg!!! I blurred and accidentally asked for her her number!!! It was wayyy to early. She said "seriously? NO". I was like, umm.. well nice talking to you, ill see you around, then walked off"

what happened?

what do i do?

Find another girl mate!

If she flat out said no like that then don't worry about it and move on. Rejection is part of the process. Some will, some won't, so what, NEXT!

*BTW this is a section of the forum for Online Sarging, but we're happy to help where we can anyways*

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Jon,
Can you please offer any suggestions on 1 or 2 cut and paste initial messages
to send, including a subject line, for a guy who has photos in his own profile,
who's messaging women who fall into the category of having a 'stupid, boring' profile' (as in the female profile has no photos and a lady has only written 2 or 3 lines about herself, so a guy has almost nothing to go by), without it managing to come across as a cut and paste message to the lady.

Most guys make the error of demanding face and body photos in their opening message to a photoless female profile, so I'd be very grateful if your suggestion can also cover that, but how to do it in a friendlier, warmer way.

I ask this, as women with photo less profiles (until they forward face and body photos) deserve a cut and paste initial message in my view, including ones who do offer some decent wording describing themselves over a couple paragraphs (it'd only pay to say something different, if a lady mentions anything that a guy reading it, sees as a common interest he also has).

Most guys have the misconception that if they see a photoless female profile, it must be of an overweight, hideously ugly and/or extremely average looking lady. In 40% of cases they are, especially if a lady mentions in her profile info, that she's overweight, but I've seen extremely attractive women online take down their profile photos and go with a photo less profile (which suggests they were getting message bombarded when they had pics up and want to minimise that, as they couldn't respond back to everyone).

It's only when a guy actually receives a reply from a lady with a photo less profile (with face and body photos included), that he should start tailoring things, if he sees her photos and is attracted.

Hey JSmooth,

I started reading about PUA last week because I am an AFC. I haven't made it all the way through this thread yet so I appologize if this has already been asked.

Are message closings like "I look forward to your response" a sign of neediness or is that ok?

I had a girl send me a message that said, "Hey! I read your profile and you seem interesting. Want to talk on here sometime?

{Name}"

Here is what I typed up to send back. Can you let me know if there is anything I shouldn't be saying in it. I was going to say "I look forward to your response" at the end but figured I'd ask about that. Thanks a bunch for all the great advice you've given!

"Hey {Name},

Thanks for writing. Ya, we can definitely talk on here. Your profile does a good job of explaining what kind of stuff you like to do, but I don't feel like it explains who you are. I know that you say that you can't really describe what makes you unique but I bet you can if you really think hard about it. So besides your looks (since there are plenty of cute girls on here), what do you have going for you? What makes you who you are? The only thing I've figured out so far it that you have a great taste in men. "


Thanks man!

You're a victim of your own success brother.


So....today was a typical exchange between this girl I've been pretty friendly with online...When we first talked, I was pretty much: This girl is the shiznit - likes everything I do down to the obscure Tom Waits song...we hit it off about as well as you can....

It was pretty easy to move into the meeting up thing - she gave me like four different windows of opportunity in a two day period, I couldn't make them and counter proposed the following Monday. She was going out of town for Thursday to Sunday...she never acknowledged that invite.

I didn't hear from her and finally said some probably AFC shit, but we were getting along so well that I thought I had nothing to lose if she was blowing me off. She wrote back and said she had been deep woods camping or some shit like that and would write more later. She didn't of course

I just dropped a quick line and asked if she was busy this week. She wrote back last night saying I could meet her and a friend out for some Halloween sillyness - or if I couldn't make it tomorrow night.

I had a work meeting tonight til late and told her tomorrow would work and proposed a sushi dive bar in my hood (she said she loves dives) or a walk around the monuments in DC (she's new to the area) mentioning how cool they are at night and we'd find some place around there.

She wrote back saying: can I call you, here's my number xxx xxx let's discuss.

so I sent her an email saying "sure, I'm at work grading papers" then sent her a text maybe 15 minutes later saying "I'm not really near my phone at work, so tell me when you are free - not sure how long it takes you to put on your costume"

That was at like 5 pm and she never acknowledged either. Like I said, it's a typical pattern for her - in touch, in touch, flake. I already called her a flake once and she came back and apologized. I'm just kind of ready to move on, but of course she's kind of hot and we hit it off pretty good.

She said she's off tomorrow which is why she's going out tonight - should I just call her and if so, should I leave a message if I get one? "Now begins the phone tag portion of the program haha"

Thanks again JS

and she just texted me saying she hadn't gone out - but again, there's a fine line between persistence and afc-ness

I normally don't message these women for that reason. If they aren't taking the time to write a profile on a dating site what does that say about them...

You can always use some generic stuff like.

Subject: Can you believe this?

Message: You know I was curiously looking at your profile today and you only have line 3 sentences about you. I refuse to believe that everything I need to know is in those 3 lines. LOL. I'd like to get to know you better. What types of dreams and aspirations do you have for yourself?

That should get a response and get her talking which is the main goal.
Get them talking for a few 3-4 messages back and forth then ask. That way you've established a bit more rapport with her and it will be a lot easier to ask and get the photo.
Agreed.
True I've met many girls without a photo for that reason. They are cute and get bombarded with messages. Women want guys that truly like they for who they are not what they look like. Well...not entirely anyways.
Absolutely man! Sounds like you got this down.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Brew,

I like the message the way it is really, it displays confidence and your personality. I am getting a feel for the way your are by just reading the message. If you want to put that "I look forward to your response" at the end then that's cool. I don't believe things like that really convey neediness. To be honest I think that type of closing is pretty normal for most online messages.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Tell me about it...

It's your call man. I have a serious problem with girls that flake on me, but then again there was a period when you weren't available either. Give it one more chance.

I'd call her. If you need to leave a message being playful, "Tag your it! Want to try to meet up again or do you keep playing tag? Either way could be fun."

If you want to really see her again we have to take the pressure off from the whole not meeting for a while. Girls start to wonder if we are getting upset by the whole thing. Showing that you're being playful and friendly despite all the stupid crap helps a lot.

GOOD LUCK!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

J, Thanks for taking the time to help, it means a lot!

Another one, and feel free to tell me if it's already been answered and I will scowl the pages for it.

How do I respond to 1 line responses. I sent a girl an opening message relating with her situation and some family DHV stuff along with a few random questions for her and I get back the following:

"Thanks for the sweet email. Hope your having a great week

{Girl's name}"

What do I do with that? I assume she's interested because she wrote back, but she didn't put much effort into it. She gave me no hooks and seeing as I'm still a newb AFC I don't know where to go with it. Well, the only thing I could respond to in that message is that she can't spell "you're" but I am not sure if that can be done playfully enough in text to not sound pompous. I feel like if I write a bunch more I'm showing need because it's becoming a one sided conversation. Or would it take longer to get to that point?

Thanks again man. I assume it doesn't really matter for my question but if you feel you don't have the whole picture I can post my original message to her. Also, I figure the less you know the more generic you have to be and so the less likely I get something from you I'm tempted to copy and paste instead of responding as me.