i recently got dumped by my gf, we spent 2 years together and were in love, we were more than just bf/gf we were best friends, 2 weeks ago she went on holiday and got really drunk and kissed someone, when she came back she told me cos she felt guilty, i obviouslly wasn't impressed and let her know this and said i want some time to think bout things and she agreed time would be good

over the next 3 days she kept texting me things like i don't wanna split with you and asking how i am, she even said that before she went away on holiday things were perfect and what i'm up too etc, even tho she said some time and space would be good, on thurs night she text me "goodnight xxxxxxx" then in the morning i said about meeting up for lunch and a chat could be good.......she was cold she said shes made her mind up about things with one kiss in her text, i then phoned her and she said she didn't wanna be single, she wanted to work in zante next year and don't wanna be ina relationship and people fall out of love

now she won't talk to me and doesn't have me on facebook, part of me tells me this could be a shit test, she's gone from someone i was so close too to someone i don't know.

so what do i do now? we've now been split for 10 days and i've barely contacted her, i didnt speak, txt or facebook her for a week, i then went on msn a week after and tryed to talk about things (not getting back with her) just about things in general, i noticed on her msn it said "she's over it" but when i talked about me and her she kept saying she needs time?

when i have tryed to text or ring, she'll just ignore it 9 times out of 10 so do i wait for her to say or do something? or move on?

i feel she's being immature about everything i've tryed to be nice to her and said everyone makes mistakes, the girl is very stubborn and let 2 of her best mates walk out of her life after a falling out and so can see her letting me walk out of her life after being best mates

i do feel im suffering abuit of one-i-tus at the moment but i need this whole thing resolved because i think about it all day everyday and she seems confused i think she must think about it as much but has yet to make any contact.

Just remember, it's her fault that she cheated on you man. Nothing makes that right. I honestly can say that I could never trust that person again. I would be the person dumping her, my only exception would be if we had a family, and even then it's iffy. However, it's up to you to decide if you want to be in a relationship with her or not, so do what feels right to you.

I would forget about her. Go out and game some other chicks to take your mind off of it. But all in all, it's up to you. I know I sure as hell couldn't trust her again so there wouldn't be any second chances for her. But like I said and what LastWolf said, it's really up to you if you think she's worth it

Dude for fucks sake she cheated on you and you are the one chasing her? Don't mean to sound overly harsh but you need to think about just how AFC what you are doing actually is.

If she can get away with that and you are still the one calling her 10 times then the balance of power in your relationship is completely skewed in her favor.

It's alot easier for me to say this than for you to do it, but move on and don't ever look back.

Ok, I stopped reading here. In case you still don`t see a problem, here is short explanation. Never, i repeat NEVER, become a best friend or a brother to your gf! She wants a man, real man with all the good and BAD things that imply being a man. She don`t need a friend in relationship. She needs a man who will constantly keeping her a little bit insecure in your feelings, who will raise a voice from time to time, who will look and chat (up to the point) to other hot chicks, who will be a bit dangerous as you probably were when she met you etc. I hope you got a point. In a moment when you stopped being a man and became a friend she become attracted to something new and dangerous. O, how many times did I use the same situation to fuck somebody elses girlfriend while I was working in a night club.

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Natural supreme

you lot, even tho some of it is harsh has made me open my eyes and yes your right it is afc, i need to move on and stop being a idiot, it's like i've been sucked into this and now its time i draw a line and game new girls

maybe i shouldn't of got so close to my gf and been more the alpha male that i was when i first met her

i have to say when your in love it does funny things to you (well me anyway , dunno bout you lot)

boycey,
Yea! It must suck to trust a girl and have her do that to you. How old is she? She seems very young. I wouldn't let this bother you. I can understand how you would consider this a shit test. Women are under the assumption that when you love them you would do anything for them.

She told you that she cheated on you, and was ready to show you how much she loved you. You basically didn't put up a fight. So she was disapointed. Game Over man. I'm sorry.

You can try to get her back by not playing the game. I wouldn't recomend it though. I think you should harden your feelings to women and become bitter and resentful. Then you can become a natural PUA.

Life is Hard. Think smart.

--magnum45

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Walk Hard

So heres the trick. You were inloved, you liked the bitch, and she broke your heart.
What kind of advice are you looking for? This is a part of life. Bitches be crazy

No one can help you right now. Because you dont need help. Lock yourself in a room for a week, and just feel the sorrow, feel the dissapoitement, BUT dont think about how its your fault or her fault. Grieve the fact that bitches be doing that. Cry if you want, just let the emotion go through you.

Because if you dont and you try to stop it and rationalize it and make logical decisions and writte on forum that you need advice, you will drag this stuff with you into your future and it will just mess with your head.

You will become angry at women, angry at her, angry at the world and you will be unattractive for women for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

What you can do is you can think about where did you start acting like a needy insecure bitch.. and forgive yourself. But commit yourself not to do that anymore, and assure yourself that when next time you start being a wussy that you will stop.

So you got another experience. And take it just as that, an experience.

Take care.

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Soooo...She cheats on you...but you're chasing after/worrying/thinking about her??
Now she's ignoring you, not wanting to talk about it and avoiding your advances to talk about it. And after all this your asking for advice on the bitch?

nice.

I'm going through my own post-breakup oneitis-like situation. For the record, Magnum gave me some sage advice in another thread, but I thought I would give you my own opinion.

I think many of the other posts might have blown this thing out of proportion. Kissing someone is not necessarily the end of the world. If you can live with that fact, and if you can find the strength to truly forgive her, and believe that she is remorseful and itwon't happen again then I say do it.

Now the tough part. This is not going to be easy to hear. If you're convinced that she is the right person for you or not, unfortunately there is only one way that you can handle this situation if she is only responding to you 9/10 times. You have to give her some space and stop contacting her altogether.

Continued attempts at contact make you appear needy and unattractive. They also are probably somewhat scary, even if the person was with you for a long time. And for the record, I did the exact same thing for a couple of days after being dumped.


Based on what I've been reading, what I did was send her a hand-written letter to tell her that you're sorry for going a little crazy with all the texts/emails/etc., and that it took you a while, but you realise now that being broken up is the best thing for both of you. Don't send an email, since it will just get lumped in with the rest of your contact attempts. She may just hit delete.

I think this works to your advantage in a bunch of ways.

1. She won't worry about you trying to contact her.
2. It may arouse some feelings of remorse, doubt or fear.
3. It puts the two of you back on more even footing.


Following this, you'll want to give it several weeks without initiating any contact (4 weeks+). If she doesn't come to you, at that point the ideal thing is to take it slowly, building up the rapport that you used to have from scratch.

In the meantime, its probably best to do what Magnum suggested: stop playing the game with her and work on yourself so that you feel confident and your head will be in the right place if and when you do approach her.

-Jpow

Ok chill the fuck out ! i got this ! i guide you throught this pitfall infested desert
this is true .. you will start treating woman as objects and not as humans.
my anger has turned into power , i no longer care about woman or what they want and i have become less AFC. Unattractive to woman this is true when you get a new GF you will be like ''ok now what'' normally you would think'''great i like her etc''

dude she fucking cheated on you, PARTNERS don't cheat on eachother BUT FRIENDS DON't cheat EITHER.
i once told a girl when she cheats our relationships ends but also our friendship.. you know why ?

imagine yourself a room with ak-47, machineguns and hand grenades - now imagine the word friend being somewhere between the machinguns and the grenades. With that word she can make you dance but also can make yourself dance YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS on the day she decided to cheat SHE LITERALLY ENDED the friendship.

Friendships are based on trust to !

She cheats and you acted like you want some space etc.. your actions made her feel like it's over and you don't wanna try.
SHE DOESNT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY - FUCK HER
you didn't cheat so its your way or the highway
yep you didn't act fast enough dude...... you actually indirectly said you didn't care about her feeling guilty

YOu have to stop wanting this bitch back ... WHEN YOU DON'T CARE you are not emotionally attached .... the one who isn't emotionally attached will decide the outcome.

1. Don't call her and look needy, don't chase her for a few weeks - that will decrease some pressure and stress. She ignores calls and txt messages with a reason !

2. The more you think of her the Worse it gets , stop thinking about her because the most important person in the relationship is you.
The more you think of her the worse it gets - you are decreasing your own self esteem

3. Don't feel bad about what you have said '' oh if i didn't said this we would get back together , damn i suck '' FUCKING NO ... you said everything with a reason and meaning - actually you are behaving gently, you told her you need some time and she didn't gave or respected that.
i would fuck another girl and sent the pics to her as revenge but thats my style.

4. She is immature about it .... don't even argue and don't even charge her. grown ups can't deal with kids and vice versa. there is absolutly no logic in her brain - she's purely controlled by emotion.

5. DON'T EVEN START about being friends or whatever .... it's better if you hang yourself on the highest tree branch, Don't even promise anything.

like i said the most important person in the relationship is you ... you have to make her think that as well... by chasing her and literally sending alot of messages ( dude she cheated for fuck sakes get a grip on your dick... ) you made her think she's the most important person in the relationship.
you literally made her feel like your eating grapes out of her asshole.
She is on top of the relationship, in reality it's not true but it's probably what she's thinking - now she decides the outcome and you can't do shit......

Thats why you should stop contacting her.

you don't wanna hear this but :

1. when she was saying she felt guilty you could contact her and tell her you want to get back together - you would probably fuck eachother the same day and everything will be ok.
---- if you did this she would walk all over you and think you didn't mind her kissing someone else, if your not letting her now cheating is unacceptable she will do it again.

2. if you told her straight away you wanna break up and she's a bitch she probably would feel MUCH WORSE.... you can give a woman enough rope to hang her on.. sometimes you give her a inch. if you don't let her know she's hanging on a inch she will try to take control. You gave her TOO MUCH ROPE and when she climbed up you kicked her down.
--- if you dumped her staight away there was a bigger chance for getting her back over a certain period of time..... but she already cheated on you so she probably will get over you rather quickly and gets a new BF.

Moving on and forgetting her is also an option... i mean she cheated ... maybe she's even fucking around with someone else right now.
Your trust has been damaged and you will probably have thought the same.

YOU CANNOT CONTROL HER
YOU CANNOT CHANGE HER MIND
The only person you can control is you ! who cares what she thinks ?! stop thinking about what she thinks and get your shit back together.

in the army i dodged alot of bullets.. i survived.. i could do this by clearly CONTROLLING MYSELF in a situation that IS OUT OF CONTROL .
GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER and start thinking about what you want
START thinking about what's good for you

you don't want her back ?
-- THEN STOP BEING A FUCKING WUSS AND MOVE ON .. she cheated so you got the right to fuck another girl.

you want her back ?
stop being emotional ... get control of yourself ... stop being afc - GET A FUCKNIG GRIP ON YOUR LIFE.
she cheated on you .. she acted like a whore ! then fucking treat her like a whore by not giving shit about her.
i think you need a hard kick in the ass -a good wake up. i would literally visit you and plant my feet in your arse.

She probably doesn't love you as much as you love her, that gives her way more control. You know what im going to kick a hole in this maze by telling you right now ( and be honest to yourself ) you are taking control.
fucking close your eyes count down from 3 to 1 and tell to yourself you are taking control of yourself.

i tell you straight away what she thinks.. the first 5 things :
1. she probably feel bad about this as well . and she probably felt really guilty.
2. who gives a shit what she thinks
3. who gives a shit what she thinks
4. who gives a shit ....... probably something about her washing her hair
5. she thinks your not worth it because you didn't reacted when she told you she felt guilty - she thinks your over her in some way.
she cheated and she's not worth it.... the cunt is making excuses for herself

ok we have sort that out now we get back on how to get her back.

first of all you are an total idiot ... this girl is not worth it she already fucked up everything and is prone to doing it again.
i would fuck another girl and let her know it the next day....
but you are really corageous to ! it taks alot of trust and guts to get her back as well.

1. give it time.... it can get better over time .. maybe SHE contacts you after a month !?!?
2. wait for an extended period of time and tell her :

tell her whatever girl you meet and even the girl you met after your break up can't satisfy you ... tell her you keep seeing her face wherever you go.
maybe tell her that there is only one of her kind, all other girls suck.
this is AFC but if she feels bad over a extended period of time this van give her an emotional boost thus increasing your chances.

3. try to be friends and try to get from friends to pants.

not legit ... you can't be a friend when you are manipulating her only to get into her pants..... WHO CARES - if it get's you into her pants are you both back together well great!

BIG RISK

Friends doesn't mean you will get involved in any love ... maybe it backfires , she gets over you and she fucks another guy while you are being her friend. it can fuck you up even more... mentally and physically.
remember the word friend is somewhere between the 50 CAL sniper rifle and the grenades ..... ''one shot, one kill''

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the most fucked up thing that can happen to you is your one-itis getting worse
you get desperate and maybe desperatly forcing contact thus creating a supermassive blackhole that sucks up all your chances and will to life.
you will get ultra desperate for a few weeks and maybe fuck up on college or work.

you are emotionally hurt by her cheating and emotionally hurt by getting more involved in rejection. maybe you will become suicidal or you lock yourself in your room for a few weeks.

and you will think why ( you will get over her in time .. don't worry )

THE REASON IT HAPPENED ... i want you to imagine this ......

1. you are happily married and together for a few years .... suddenly she cheats and a few months later she turned out te be pregnant. ( this shit happened to me )

2. Or you are where you are right now .. she cheated now .. you ain't married and she isn't pregnant.

what do you want ? number 1 or number 2 ?

the meaning of the situation is the PROVE she can't be trusted, she's probably to immature or incapable of a solid relationship, she is not worth it ... thats the meaning behind the situation . If your relationship was solid she wouldn't cheat.

now imagine this :

you and you EX -GF are the only one on the planet.. there is no one else to fuck. nehhhhhh wrong this is not what you imagine but this is how you feel !
this one-itis is a thorn in your rational mind, stop caring much ! get rational !

what happened above with the marriage - pregnancy - cheating thing really happened to me.... my one-itis was fucking worse i felt like shit i thought like shit and i breathed shit.
i took me literally 6 months to become non-suicidal , took me 6 months to get my shit back together.. and im still not over it.

You know why im not over it .... because you never get over it , you always have a special feeling towards a special or certain person.
last week i saw my ex-fiance again and my one-itis rised .. i felt bad for a whole week.
Don't fight it .. just let it pass - don't resist when you dont have to.

some feelings will never go away .. you just forget, it will get burried deeply inside your memories

this one-itis is illusion ... it's created in your head .. because it is in your head you can take control of it.

when you feel bad go to your friends , go out and have a blast, get some hobbies go to the gym.
realise there are alot of people who faced the same problem your not the only one.
there are still millions of woman who are single and they want to meet you and get laid, don't forget about that.

just make up your mind about what to do with her and your life and stick to that.
And no matter what i or other people say you will still do some things , and some things will feel good for you ....even if i tell you to not do it.
I would dump the bitch but if you want her back then get her back

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I can tell you are angry Lodewijkp.

You feel really bad for trusting a girl who cheated on you.

How will you get over it?

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Walk Hard

Lodewijkp is the man, everything he said is solid advice.... and the best advice you could ask for.


ROLL OUT ON THAT BITCH!

We came to pua as a way to attract and seduce as many girls as possible... this is going to sound harsh but it looks like you used pua got the first girl that came your way and settled. Use what you used to get her and get a million girls.

My best friend was married and got divorced, and been in a million relationships. The best advice he gave me is "I can be happy no matter who I'm with, theres more than one girl in the world"