Hi,

I decided to give POF a try 3 days ago. As part of the learning process I have deactivated my profile and created one for a friend (with her full permission) to understand things from a girl's perspective. I will not be posting a direct link to this profile however it is fair to say my friend is easily a 9.5.

Some of the more interesting experiences will be posted here over the course of the week. The profile will then be deactivated and any learning experiences will be applied to my own interactions.

So, profile created at 5:02. In the first hour I received 22 messages or approximately 1 every 3 minutes... For my own profile I received 5 in 3 days.

Joe.

I don't see how this would help you in the least bit. Can you explain to me what you hope to gain from this or what is the learning process you hope to go through?

Especially since your using a friend of yours picture and she isn't actively participating in this little experiment of yours how will you get a female perspective?

I would also be very wary of using anything the majority of the guys off the site will say in your conversations with them.

Good question.

My hope is to gain an understanding of the types of messages women receive in these sites. This in turn will allow me to tailor my own communications to stand out from the rest. I have heard anecdotally that women receive 100 messages per day with some as simple as 'whatz up wanna MSN' but until you actually see it this does not hit home. Already I am gaining a far better picture of why a couple of my messages didn't receive a response

In terms of female participation - yes this is a hole.

Anything I do decide to post will be stripped back to generalisations rather than specific examples .

So far I imagine the girl would be:
1) Fed up of creepy older guys contacting her
2) Bored of being told how pretty her eyes are
3) Frustrated that nobody had read her profile
4) Figuring out very quickly she had the choice of men (and that they knew this)
5) Wondering why some men post the photographs they do

Yeah this is an amazing resource. I have one such profile, it's called a recon profile. You use it to gain perspective. But best of all you get to fish for the best pickup lines by naturals!

_________________
I'm a ninja-fighter.

OK so the profile has been up now for 7 hours and has received 80 emails...

EIGHTY.

Jeez.

I can honestly say there is not one single message in with the chaff that stands out.

This puzzles me slightly as those who have reviewed my profile give it 8-10 and the messages I send are usually 'unique' yet few replies are received

Maybe it just isn't possible to stand out in the same way you can in real life. I can guarantee that of the 80 mails received perhaps 2 of these guys would approach my friend on the street.

Odds really are stacked so highly against guys on here. To be honest I am starting to think the fact I RECEIVED 5 from girls (they initiated contact) was a miracle.

Not giving up just yet tho however this is high effort low reward

Girls can be visual creatures too. Sometimes your picture holds more weight than what you say on your email headline and message. They don't even read the profile!

So take the BEST photos, esp. in POF some girls demand the photos to come through with the email.

I learned from a co-worker who is a HB6 and even she goes for looks and complains she tends to fall for the good looking bad guys. Yuck, disgusting... no wonder she is still single at 35.

But I find that if you want quality, it is a numbers game as much as it is making yourself stand out.

My thoughts are the HB6 at work probably knows she can punch above her weight online due to the high demand. In real life she would perhaps largely take whatever comes her way (which is likely to be lower than that on POF in both volume and quality).

As an example the girl in my profile is approached maybe 3 times in a night while we are out clubbing yet gets 80 in one day when the guys can 'hide' online. I am rapidly coming to realise that this is perhaps a non starter.

It is not just the ratio of guys to girls but also the vastly increased number of approaches guys make.

Entirely agree with you that looks are important both online and offline .

I am not surprised. Its a numbers game online. I have met about 5 or 6 girls off POF. But keep in mind I have probably sent out hundreds of emails, gotten about a 5 percent response rate, and a 1 percent or so meet rate.


I think alot of guys are nervous or cant cold approach in person so dating sites are popular

Girls are visual creatures, but not as much as guys are in some aspects. And girls DO read your profile. Not all of them do tho.
I say she has not learned her lesson yet.
Very true.

How can it puzzle you when you figured out why you don't have a great reply rate? Its a bit hard to stand out with online game. As all you are relying on is text and pictures.
The odds are very much stack against the guys with online game. Your findings, which are not surprising in the slightest, are for the most part why I pretty much stay away from the more attractive average height girls. They get pounded with messages from guys. And I see no reason to send them messages really. I do far better with the taller girls as they are not as pounded with messages.
That is unless you go for certain types of girls. As then the rewards are much better.

It is a number game for real world as well. Tho the real world has better numbers compare to online game in general.
Or have trouble looking for what they want. Or don't have a lot of time to go out to meet girls.

Just a FYI for you guys that are on POF. POF has a feature that allows you to see what girls have not revived any messages in the past day I believe. This can be a handy tool. Because even tho there are way more guys than girls on these dating sites, not all girls get messages all the time.

Some good points and observations here. Personally I LOVE tall girls - a lot of my platonic girlfriends are all close to 6ft in heels and very well endowed.

I am going to check out the '24h' feature to see what comes up.

I Have still yet to receive any openers on the girl's profile that could be construed as a 'PUA' opener. At the moment I am watching a series of videos from MyPUAJourney.com and trying out the 'comment on something most guys would miss with no compliments/questions' approach.

Send your friend my way.
You be surprise at some of the girls that show up in that thing. It may be more than 24 hours as on POF it says the following: "Last 30 visiting users who haven't received a first contact email in over a day within 50 miles of Zip Code XXXXX". I did a quick search and I did not see any 9/10's but in my results it was mostly made up with 7's. Tho I did an age range from 18 to 30 and the results are random.
Your not going to get a "PUA opener" from a girl online.

Ah - I am referring to the hot girl's profile not receiving any PUA openers from guys