...Game

Hi All. S. Community has helped me out so far so thought I would bring some more profound questions, stuff that goes down into my soul.

1) Why do I get so needy with girls I am excited about? I mean, its almost out of control. There are times when I will say "I'm going to freeze this girl out for today." But by like 7pm, my cell is in my shaking hand, and there I am, texting her though I said I wouldn't. what gives?

2) Why do I push (talk about wanting her all to myself, discussing romantic plans, etc) when I damn well know it would be more intelligent to pull in a certain situation? Its like my head knows what the smart thing to do is but my mouth does the opposite cause it is craving something from that other person.

A few considerations:

a) when I was a kid, I didnt get any of the girls I liked. Even when I opened up in college and became closing, they were never that awesome girl, mostly HB6's and 7's.

b) I love when a girl sends me a IOI. A kiss goodnight blown to me. A "you're so cute" via a text. Those things make my heart soar and make me feel alive, so I (unwittingly) play for those sorts of things, pushing for compliments and things, when I know it is smarter to back off and not care or need. But its like I'm addicted to little acts of affection.

I wish I could control my own heart, but with each serious HB that comes around and seems like a hot prospect, its like I project onto her that she is that hot HB10 from the past that I never got, but that this time I gotta get.

Any thought?

Yea, youre not a man.

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Lol. thanks...but I grew up with two older brothers....so I can take hard criticism.

any others?

Don't worry, this is a quite common problem. What seems to be the case is where your focus is at, I know a lot of people say you should go out and game other girls as well in order to overcome it, but that might lead to an addiction so I would strongly advice against only going that path. Instead, start focusing on another subject, a subject that is challanging, a subject that you are quite good in and that are fun. If you spend your time doing something you enjoy your thoughts will tip in that way, removing the thoughts and the urge to have contact with girls and instead get over on a new hobby that you spend time on, and that is probably more healthy for you then to analyze the situations.

- Exerio

I wasnt critisizing, you really are not a man. But you will be.

But ok, seriously, what I hear from you is.. I am insecure with women and I crave acceptance from women.

Im not going to tell you, buckle up and be tough. No.

Realize, that you are naturally a man, and you love beautiful women. Who doesnt? Its natural.

Do not repress that fact, or it will come back to haunt you. If you see a woman that is really beautiful, go to her and tell her.. you know what, i wanted to say that you are really beautiful... you take my breath away.. with total composure and look directly in her eyes. Dont be a wussy about it, be direct.

Women WANT to be adored, women want to be ravished by your love. They want to live in a fairy tale. I think that you have a gift, because you can give love to women that they want so much. So give them.

But man, learn the game. The game is not about techniques and what do I say and bullshit but about you being totally full, totally satisfied.. but you are crazy about a girl and at the same time you dont NEED her. If she comes that is great because you are crazy about her, but if she choses not to thats too bad.. because she`s a nice girl.. but you gotta go so by by...

I dont know how to explain this, but its like.. you are totally crazy about her, but you still have your own life that is more important than her. But youre still crazy about her.

YOU: "Im crazy about you.. but too bad we can never be together.. "
HER: "Ooo yea, Why is that?"
YOU:"Because you would fall in love with me and than I would brake your heart when I sleep with a hot blonde"

I got a question for you. What is the oposite of CHASING a woman?

Its her chasing you. So how do you make her chase you? One simple word. TEASE.

Its like being in your own circle and teasing her to come to you. and when she does, you back away a little bit so she anticipates you.

So instead writing "I want to get together with you soo bad" write "I want to get together with you soo bad, but we cant cus than you will fall in love with me and I will have another problem with you chasing me arround" or "I know you want to get together with me soo bad, but we cant cus than.. fill in the blank"


Do you get what am I trying to say?

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Yes, I get it in my head. But getting it into my "subconscious" or whatever is another story.

As far as things not working out with girls, I don't get broken hearted much anymore. Maybe for a day or so, and not that badly, then I'm over it. once a girl passes it is on to the next and there are a ton out there

regarding...
this is probably true. I wish I knew where this started. I didnt grow up with sisters so girls were always a wonderful enigma from me.

I think this might have been one of the things that wrecked my marriage. After we were together and the thrill of the dance was gone, it became a big bore. I was used to being out there dating new girls all the time, I guess you could say I was addicted to all the little IOI's and the acceptance that conveys. so I was dying to get out of that marriage and get back in the game and enjoy the "dance" again. that, and my ex-wife was an hb6.5 who didnt like to look at.

Actually, I know exactly what youre talking about. I wasnt popular with girls when I was younger eighter, and I craved acceptance from them. Women were like a godess to me.
I adored them.

And you know what? I still do.

Only I got myself to focus on my path that is more important than women..and when I see a girl I like, i just walk to her and say.. Cmon girl, you cant be so beautiful.. you took my breath away.. I wanted to say hi blah blah blah blah...

HOWEVER, I NEVER show any sign of neediness. I never show that I would die if she doesnt want to meet me. I never show that I need her.

I am detached.

Man, Im saying to you.. dont try to repress that you love them loving you.. but exagarate it. Have as much women as you can.. go out as much as you can.. meet as much women as you can.. You love them, they love you..

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The need for acceptance you have might come from your toddler days when you were a little infant. You might not know about this because you didnt understand those thing when you were an infant. Maybe your mother and father didnt give the acceptance and love you wanted and you crave that acceptance and love now. This might be way out of field but maybe thats the problem.


Where your parents accepting of you when you were young?
Do you recall andy bad childhood memories in need of acceptance?
Were your parents there to support you when you needed them?

Ask yourself these questions and see what the answers you come up with.


Hope this helped.[/quote]

those are all good questions. here's the thing:

I'm not a people pleaser. I can say no pretty easily, and I'm no push over.

By and large I dont feel I crave acceptance from people. But I really like it (it pushes some button inside of me) when women like me and express that I'm special.