So, this girl adds me to facebook, I don't accept right away and ask her who she is. She responds and then I commend her for being strong enough to make a potential new friend. She admits that she likes to make new friends and based on that I suggested that we meet at a coffee shop to talk (pointing it out that it's something we both want)... I send the date and time after she says that it's a great idea
She doesn't respond and told me on fb chat that she has to check if she's going to routine after-work meeting... she didn't respond and now it's a day past the day we were supposed to meet..
I don't wanna initiate a chat again on fb when I see her online coz I may come off as desperate... and if I do, then I don't know what to say... it's frustrating
Any suggestions on how to lead this to rescheduling a meeting?

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"Chivalry isn't dead. It is widely used by many men who end up being 'just friends' to every woman they ever meet" -- Vinuzzio

If it were me personally, I'd redirect the same idea now through a quick clarification test.


Me: Hey, are you busy on (day you want to meet) at (time)?

HB: No i'm free, why do you ask? O.o (or similar)

ME: I've got some stuff to do in town that day anyway, if you still want that coffee then I can take some time out from shopping/businessy stuff/whatever to see you, it wouldn't be a big deal since I'm going to be out anyway.

Do some research first so you give yourself the best possible chance of guessing a time she'll definitely be free.

You've stirred curiosity in her with your opening line.. Making her interested since it's an odd question.

With your second line you've made the date simply casual, toning down the situation if she decided she was uncomfortable with it before. You also placed value on your time (and yourself) by graciously saying you could set some aside for her.


If this doesn't help repair that ever-so-close meeting I suggest checking out the online sarging and restarting the situation, build up online comfort and attraction first then go in for the meet up etc.

Alternatively, find out where she works, bump into her either in her workplace (if it's a shop/food place or before/after she finishes work.
Open with a neg "You're that girl I don't even know that added me!! (her name) right?"

But wouldn't that make me come off as desperate? I mean, she didn't even respond to my message and now it's past the date and there I am asking her for another date... then, it's likely to kill my chances with her. Maybe I'm missing something in your suggestion that could've showed otherwise.

I really appreciate your help!!

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"Chivalry isn't dead. It is widely used by many men who end up being 'just friends' to every woman they ever meet" -- Vinuzzio

More than likely you did not build up enough interest in this girl. Talk to her a bit more and completely ignore the fact that she flaked on you. Once you talked to her a bit more try to ask her out again. If she doesn't show up then stop talking to her.

Thanks for the advice, but wouldn't portray me as needy to have initiated a conversation online again? The minute she feels that I'm needy, then I'll lose any chances. Please correct my statement if I'm wrong or clarify yours =D

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"Chivalry isn't dead. It is widely used by many men who end up being 'just friends' to every woman they ever meet" -- Vinuzzio

... or test your theory out of not contacting her first and see where that goes. Live and learn. there is nothing like first hand experience.

BTW, you will sound needy if you let it show that it affected you that she flaked.

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Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

Ditto.

I initiate conversations without allowing myself to come across needy. In my opinion it comes down to how casual/not bothered whether she says yes or not you make it, you're inviting her to meet you, but are you coming across as bothered about whether she says yes or not? If you come across as desperately wanting her to say yes then of course this shows you as needy, if you come across as someone who's up for meeting her by just being friendly, but busy with valuable time then I believe it's not needy.

If you're particularly worried about it, hit like on a new status of hers first to create the impression you weren't waiting on her to come online, you saw her status and this made you see that she was online, triggering your friendly hello/opener/rapport/transition to question.

EDIT: Sorry for the triple post, a "addrinfo" error made me click it again as I believed it hadn't added my post. Deleted them now.

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Carpe Diem