I have tried to break up with my girlfriend 3 times in the last 2 weeks yet somehow she manages to convince me to stay. She has an alcohol problem, she drinks a lot every single day and gets off her face. The first two time i tried to brake up with her she threatened to kill herself going so far as to actually take a knife to her wrist in front of me, and jumping on the front of the car as I was tryign to drive away. So I decided to stay around just so that she wouldn't kill herself, cause I would soo feel completely responsible if she did kill herself. So since this happened I have just felt like obligated to stay in the relationship and I really no longer want to. On Friday she was again drunk and took my phone after I had fallen asleep. I woke tried to call her to find out where she was and couldn't find my phone, anyways as this was a complete and total invasion of privacy I dumped her again, yet she convinced me she would never drink again as long as I stayed with her. This girl is messed up and I need some help on how to get out of this arrangement that we have.

Much thanks in advance.
Tom

_________________
Tommy C

Alright this girl sounds like she has some serious issues! I think 1# you have to talk to her when she is sober and calm because it sounds like booze makes her to some crazy shit!

Let me ask you somthing is she crazy or just crazy when she is drunk? also do you like her as a gf when shes not drunk? If so then perhaps you could let her know you will only stay with her If she get help with her drinking problem and that If she cares as much as she says then you should be more important then booze...take her to see an AA counselor and help her through it.

If you dont like her well I would still talk to somone about it and get help for her because no one should be with another person out of fear. Honestly it sounds like she has some real issues that she has to deal with and she is being very very very selfish by puting you through all of this.

I don't mean to sound out of line here, but I think there may be a problem beyond the helping bounds of pick up. I think you need to be really straight forward with her. Make her understand that not only is she hurting herself with alcohol abuse, but it's effecting everyone around her. Tell her that the reason you want out is because of her alcohol abuse and if she doesn't completely stop of drastically tone it down, you will get her help and the relationship will be over once she is in care of someone. Once again, sorry if I sound out of line or offend, but alcohol abuse is not something that should be taken lightly.

_________________
"Vincit Qui Se Vincit"

Have you thought about talking to her family mabey? and telling them you want her to get help...let them know what has gone on? If anyone can get through to her it should be family? or is her family the reason she drinks?

Sorry for delayed responses guys, I was expecting an email saying that I had a reply to the post yet non arrived.

Since my previous post I have indeed got her to go to concuiling by threating to tell her parents everything, after I caught her sneaking rum in her coke. Couciller's put it down to lack of self confidence. Were still together because she is a nice girl when sober and so far so good since tuesday. We've been out a few times since then, Im 90% sober so I know how to have agood time, but she just sits in the clubs and does shit all and really just pisses me off cause I feel I have to look after her. Im just getting bored.

Im no longer enjoying this relationship and all I think about is someone else when im with her. Im finding it dam hard to slip up cause all she does is cry, I understand why some do it over the phone. On tuesday I dumped her again and she refused to let me leave her bedroom, I ended up having to agree one more chance before I left 6 hours later. I need some tips to remain strong and not allow her to convince me 'one last chance' of which shes had 4 last month.

Thanks

x

_________________
Tommy C

How does she convince you the stay when your basicly saying that you don't enjoy anymore.

3 times is a charm, go for the final blow, leave her... you only fooling yourself and her this way.

_________________
True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle

1st time - Got a cab back to my house £40, and refused to leave til we talked and she managed to convince me just by threating to slit her wrists. I guess all the cry and shit i start to feel really bad and the fact I didn't want her to die so I said fine. Your right Im being weak, i haven't ever had this problem before.

2nd time - this time she actually took the knife to her wrist in front of me and I freaked out and just ran away, she ended up getting a cab back to mine again after me having to chuck her off the car. Again this felt like a bribe to stay with her.

3rd time - she ran off with my mobile phone whilst completely drunk, she convinced me to be with her if she remained computerely sober for ever.

4th time - she was sneaking alchol in her coke, and virtually locked me in her bedroom for 5/6 hours til I agreed that I would be with her as long as she got help, which she is doing now. just got a text from her saying 5 days sober.

I need help on exactly how to do this breakup from start to finish.

thanks in advance.

x

_________________
Tommy C

Well, so she's finally working on her self, thats good but i guess getting the family involved in keeping her sober isnt an bad idea

Since you dont want her to grab the alcohol or do something bad too herself.
But she shouldnt be able too stop you from going further in your life.

So my advice would be going for a peacefull solution but choosing for yourself.

Goodluck.

_________________
True communication is communion―the realization of oneness, which is love! ~ Eckhart Tolle

my ex threathened to kill herself to.....

When this shit happens you put your ex / GF above yourself ..

The most important person in your life is YOU , DONT PUT YOUR GF ABOVE YOURSELF.

my ex had borderline ... she messed me up so bad with this suicide thing and other shit - i got emotionally, financially, mentally drained and abused because i decided to stay with my GF.
things didn't got any better actually - they became worse but i was around less so that felt like it was getting better.

What happened after ? she got pregnant ... i don't know if it was on purpose or not.... but when a girl gets crazy or was crazy like that she will not hesitate to get pregnant of you. She manipulated me in every way and insulted me when she saw the opportunity. After a few months i was so fucking crazy i used drugs tried to suicide ... i was becoming my ex - she almost gave me bipolair borderline ... fucking cunt.

Anyway now im thinking ; what a idiot i was ... because she needed me thats why she was clinging around me ... but after all the bad shit i was being weak and she saw no advantage in staying with me .... she literally left me to die. i should have called her a fucking cunt and hang-up the phone on day one.

she was a former alcohol addict but she was immature and had borderline and mb bipolair ....... How crazy is your bitch and what are her problems

NOW think - When does this crazy bitch will dump you ? i mean she walked all over you in any way you were being weak....
When do you dump the crazy bitch ?

SHE DOESNT GIVE SHIT ABOUT YOU .... the things she does in order to get her own benefits.. it's crazy .... you don't wanna break up because she mb kill herself or whatever - this means you give alot about her
GUESS WHAT SHE DOESN'T CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT YOU - if she really she's hurting you then she would stop or at least try her best to solve things BUT SHE DIDN'T AND STEPPED OVER YOUR BOUNDARIES 4 TIMES.

believe me i know what im talking about .. i was a drug addict myself and gave up everything for my last GirlFriend - i even went to proffessional counseling to talk about me and my relation - thats love..... nothing can beat real love.

All i can say your GF have huge issue and a big fucking ego like satan ( probably caused by her alcohol problems ) .... sometimes you can't fight fire with water because there is no water around. sometimes you fight fire with fire !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok you looked at yourself and your number one ... your GF is priority number 2

ok now lets take a look at your GF .. she is human and we can't leave her like that - mb she will really suicide., who knows ?
The first thing and best thing to do is consult her family, parents and mb her best friend etc.. it's like democracy voting ; the more people you have in your party the more voice you have !

i can tell you if she doesn't get help her life will be ruined .... if you stay with her your life can be ruined to ! sometimes your life needs to get ruined to learn the important lesson we couldn't learn before - the eye opener so we can pick ourselfs up , but she is far far away dude.

if you wanna stay with her on want to help her try to read some book about alcoholaddicts etc

peace bro. good luck

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Lodewijkp

Thanks for the advice, I feel I am going to make sure she goes to the meetings and when shes sorted and stable make the move to move away.

Thanks to all for the help,

x

_________________
Tommy C

Thanks for all your help guys, I finally did it! x

_________________
Tommy C