Long story short, met an HB9 I truly dig. Very emotionally mature woman with a great heart...43 years old just like me. She recently broke up with someone in the same meetup group. We both totally dig each other. At first she said she didn't want to date me because I was a smoker (but I quit) and because we were in the same group with her exBF. Yet, she chats with me almost every day, we flirt shamelessly, etc. At an afternoon get-together a week or so ago, she invited me to a movie with her afterward...we couldn't keep our hands off each other, we ended up out drinking after the movie, and then she ended up spending the night at my house. Great night. David DeAngelo's dating materials seem to fit me best...I'm already naturally cocky/funny in most social situations, so that CF side of me is most of what she has seen. There's tons of attraction there on both sides. I know she's very attracted to my social flirtatious side, but I feel like that's also what's pushing her away.

So, she's pulled back a couple of times already. I got a note from her saying "I just want to be friends. I don't like to share, and I don't have a claim on you." Best I can gather, the fact that I flirt with everyone makes her uncomfortable (like there's nothing special about her) and makes her feel like I'm merely a player who can't commit. (I am fully capable of committing and unafraid to make a commitment with the right woman...she definitely COULD be the right woman, I don't know for sure yet.)

I wouldn't say I have total one-itus...but I also recognize that she might be a fabulous catch.

How can I best reel her in? Keep in mind this is an intelligent, mature woman...she's far outgrown anything like Mystery Method gaming.
Thoughts on reeling her in?

Thx,
Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

man im having the same problem, ive been going out with this chick for a couple weeks. Sometimes she will act very attracted to me..then 60% if the other time she couldn't care less. I think im giving in to much. Allowing myself to be too available. But when i act like i dont care, she thinks i don't like her....Man women are great, but very confusing to me

if i were in your shoes i would approch her and just be straight with her about the note and ask her what she meens. chances are your probably right but you wanna get her talking about that note so you can seemlessly be on topic and give yourself a chance at explaing that those other girls mean nothing to you.. from what i get you have gone through the escilation ladder from a1-s3? or atleast some where in im guessing as she spent the night. (did you get laid? or just slow seduction ie: making out cuddling back rubs?) where i would suggest you foucus on now with her is probably gonna be comfort she needs to know there is a connection, this doesnt mean you have to be the one just means you cant be some one night stand kinda guy.) also another question i have is during the night spent at your house if you didnt get laid did you attempt and get lmr'd?

Great advice guys...in fact, two lady friends whom I trust told me almost exactly the same thing. I'm on it.

On the question...let's just say her attraction was clearly demonstrated. Now, there is one issue that I still have to contend with and that is her exBF. We're in the same meetup group, so he's around, and in fact he and her are still friends (amicable breakups are a good thing, IMO). She wants to call us "just friends", and I think the main motivation is that we are in this same group. I'm seriously considering dropping out of the group for a while if it takes a roadblock out of the way. I'm not jealous of him (he seems like a good fella, but I think I have him beat by a long shot...I've learned that he's an alcoholic, and I suspect that's the reason for the breakup). However, she feels very weirded-out when the three of us end up at the same social event. She's said she knows he and her are "not meant to be", she wants to comletely detach, but it's like telling your best friend good-bye. Again, an amicable breakup is good, but it does leave some loose ends to tidy up. So, I don't think she's 100% "emotionally available" yet...but, I think that will come in time. For instance, she chats with me just about every single day. I just need to keep her engaged and as said above "make her feel special".

We're going to dinner and a comedy club tonight (and she's investing in the relationship too...I bought our tickets, she's buying me dinner and drinks). This should be a great opportunity for some good one-on-one time.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

well it sounds like you got it figured out. and things are going smoothly if you ask me older wemon are not just going to rush things, id say keep on trucking with your game the way you are, reading your second post i think its clear that she likes you and is interested, i would almost say it really has more to do with her probably just getting out of a relationship more then anything. but if you keep up what your doing give it a month or two you will probably have yourself a girlfriend. just keep pushing through the escalation ladder and i would bet money on your success. good luck keep us posted.

OK, so things went a little sour with this one over the weekend. We had a great but calm date Fri night, and she came to a party at my house Sat (but came with her exBF who is now just a friend). I made it a point to show her more exclusive attention both Fri night (well received) and Sat night (not well received because the ex BF was there)....ie. work toward "making her feel special". This backfired Sat...she felt like I was "putting the moves on her" and was uncomfortable with that with her exBF there. I felt a little ignored by her Sat night, and she admitted that she avoided me somewhat because she felt uncomfortable. We chatted for quite a while Sun and I let her know that I wasn't too happy about being ignored. We went around a few times in discussion, and finally just agreed to be platonic friends. She's been saying all along that she just wants to be friends right now, but then she certainly didn't stop me from seducing her...she let me lead her right where I wanted her to be with almost no resistance. (It wouldn't surprise me if she doesn't pop up in a week or two and imply she wants a booty call...LOL...I might just tell her "no", or at least make her have to put a little work into it.)

So, I've seen how I push her attraction buttons, but I also think she's NOT fully "emotionally available" at this point. I'm going to step away from this one and just pursue some others. I think I've handed a little too much control to her...if she comes back to me, then that puts the control back in my court. If she doesn't, I'm not going to consider it any big loss...we had some fun together, and if that's all that ever happens how can I be disappointed?

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.