Screwed up first invite, need a quick recovery



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:34 am 
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Posts: 12
Met the girl on campus a couple of days ago, just my style. Opener went well, good conversation, obvious interest on her part, got the digits - no problem.

Waited a day, and tried to arrange a quick, casual on-campus get together by calling her. She didn't answer, I did not leave a message. I waited a couple hours and shot her a text:
Me: Hey _____! I had some time free up in my week and wanted to see if you want to go for a quick ice cream or something. How's your week looking?
Her: My week is super busy...I'm so sorry! Do you have time next week?
Me: Hey, totally fine! I just got a lucky break myself. Next week would be great. Is there a day that is better for you?
Her: Um. I don't think so.
(at this point I'm starting to doubt this whole thing, sounds a little less excited, etc. But I thought I would try and pin it down so I didn't have to drag it on later)
Me: Ok...how does Tuesday sound - when are you available then?

Unanswered.

So, I'm not a complete moron, but could use some advice. She's not going to answer. So I need to know what the best card to play is now. I've obviously been a little over-aggressive from her perspective, (always my downfall!) but also obviously not creepy by any means. The ice is getting thinner though. Help me out here. Where did I go wrong? What's going to get me back in the game?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:00 am 
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Posts: 11
My man, these situations are REALLY random,

Try to post it again, from opening to the last text, we want to know what you said, how she reacted, what she said etc. etc. etc.

So we could understand the situation more, you been there..not us.

So describe it more exact.

T/C


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 Post subject: ...in more detail
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:11 pm 
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Ok, here is the situation in more detail:


I met this girl on campus earlier this week. She was eating some brunch type of thing in our student center. I go to a very large university and a lot of people gather in this area. I glanced over there and thought she was cute, so I went and sat by her. We talked and connected on multiple things, but especially foreign language. We both are into it. She is really into French and Italian. So we really related on this.

Now, I've met a lot of girls, and this one is really my style. I'm talking just what I look for. She is a little shy, has a very natural look and feel to her (no makeup, but still gorgeous, etc), and seems really easy to talk to.

So during the time we were there (about 30-40 minutes), we just talked the whole time. It was totally normal, natural, and not awkward. She got up to leave with a "well, it was really nice to meet you!" and a smile. I was already planning on getting her number, but that confirmed it. I went with "hey, I don't know how often you're on campus, but we should go for lunch or something some other time." I think it caught her off guard slightly, but she went from initially being taken aback to what looked like pleasantly flattered, and agreed - and gave me her number.

Later on in the day, I sent a text saying "Hey, its me ____ from earlier, just thought I would let you know this is my number, have a great day!" She responded: "Oh hey ____, yeah I remember you! You have a great day too!"

...then, the rest of the details are as follows from my first post:
Quote:
Waited a day, and tried to arrange a quick, casual on-campus get together by calling her. She didn't answer, I did not leave a message. I waited a couple hours and shot her a text:
Me: Hey _____! I had some time free up in my week and wanted to see if you want to go for a quick ice cream or something. How's your week looking?
Her: My week is super busy...I'm so sorry! Do you have time next week?
Me: Hey, totally fine! I just got a lucky break myself. Next week would be great. Is there a day that is better for you?
Her: Um. I don't think so.
(at this point I'm starting to doubt this whole thing, sounds a little less excited, etc. But I thought I would try and pin it down so I didn't have to drag it on later)
Me: Ok...how does Tuesday sound - when are you available then?

Unanswered.

So, I'm not a complete moron, but could use some advice. She's not going to answer. So I need to know what the best card to play is now. I've obviously been a little over-aggressive from her perspective, (always my downfall!) but also obviously not creepy by any means. The ice is getting thinner though. Help me out here. Where did I go wrong? What's going to get me back in the game?
So I realize I only waited a day or so to contact her, but I was confident that wouldn't be a big deal...it seems like it was. I think she was just a little surprised I was coming at her so quickly, so she had a little freak out. But I'm looking to bounce back with the RIGHT move. Tell me what you think. Thanks!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:46 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:22 am
Posts: 253
Quote:

So I realize I only waited a day or so to contact her, but I was confident that wouldn't be a big deal...it seems like it was. I think she was just a little surprised I was coming at her so quickly, so she had a little freak out. But I'm looking to bounce back with the RIGHT move. Tell me what you think. Thanks!
This wasn't your problem. The 3 day rule doesn't apply always. YOU NEED TO DECIDE FOR YOURSELF. You can't always go by rules. Do you want to call her that night? Why should there be a rule to stop you.

She won't answer because you conformed to her schedule. Do you really think people are busy 24/7. By asking her When can I see YOU, you are chasing her.

Don't ask what a good day is for her.
Don't ask when SHE has time.

Tell her when YOU'RE available, make the terms, and if she's interested she will comform to them. If not: next.


eg. I have a break on Friday. There's this coffee shop on campus I want to check out after lunch. Come with me and we'll have some laughs before class. =)

I don't know what your/her schedules are like so make it around YOURS.


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 Post subject: Rescue Text
PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 9:20 pm 
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Posts: 9
By reading the posts this particular text may not be the most suitable for this situation, however, it is definitely worth some consideration. This text works best when the meeting with the HB beforehand contained a healthy level of playfulness and flirting. This text should be used if the HB fails to respond to a message or text.

'oh my god! You've been kidknapped! You must be hungry? i'll bring chocolate, what type do you prefer white, dark or milk?x' (btw thanks to my friend 'Chillaxx' for this one)

The theory behind this text is that its light-heart-fullness and the fact that it changes the subject (of meeting up) will present an opportunity for the HB, in a non threatening way, to easily redeem herself and therefore to allow conversation to continue. It is different, funny and makes you stand out.

Any feedback, positive or negative, will be appreciated. Anyone else has any other ‘rescue texts’/techniques?

_________________
It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do. Remember to live everyday like it could be your last for you may die tomorrow.


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