Cheering a girl up?



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 Post subject: Cheering a girl up?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:36 pm 
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Hey guys have searched the forum for this but couldn't find anything. Would appreciate some help on this one.
Met this girl a short while ago, we seem to get on great and have been using different aspects of game on her.
The last couple of days she's been pretty down with work stuff, I've tried cheering her up by making her feel better about herself etc, which works for a little bit. The problem is I don't want to come across AFC by complimenting her all the time, and end up the guy she just goes to with her problems etc.
Any good ideas on how to approach this?
Cheers


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:45 pm 
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Take her out and have a great night, and she will associate you with that feeling. And only ask her how she is or if she's feeling okay if she brings it up. Even I hate when people ask me how I am when something bad may have happened all the time!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:38 am 
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i need help with that too. one chick had a string of bad luck with parking tickets, and we were already at a bar when she was crying about it. it kinda bothered me because i was at the bar to forget about problems in general and get drunk and get a good vibe from the people around me. so i had little motivation to make something up on the fly. i guess thats my fault tho.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 2:32 am 
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I haven't had to deal with this much, but a girl I was talking to(who I had already hooked up with, but not slept with at this point) texted me she was having a rough day because her family dog had just died.

I replied back, "I know I'm supposed to say some BS about how it's gonna be OK, but all I can think about right now is how sexy you'd look grieving in a little black dress."

She replied, ":-)...you always know how to cheer me up."

Done.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:33 am 
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There's quite a few things you could do, but asking her if she's ok isn't one I'd recommend. You don't want to be her shoulder to cry on or her psychologist.

If you're out with her and you can see she's feeling a little off, just have fun. Be awesome. Soon enough she'll forget all about her little issues and you'll be the guy in her head instead.

If she starts talking about something depressive, listen for a tiny bit (just so that she can vent a tiny bit and that you dont seem overly apathetic) and then completely change the subject to something fun.
Her: blah blah complain blah blah
You: Ahh that sucks man blah blah, I've got an idea. Let's forget about that for tonight and just have an awesome time.

Also, you can look into NLP and especially the use of Pacing And Leading and Patterns to cheer her up, but thats a bit more advanced.


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 Post subject: Re: Cheering a girl up?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:32 pm 
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Quote:
Hey guys have searched the forum for this but couldn't find anything. Would appreciate some help on this one.
Met this girl a short while ago, we seem to get on great and have been using different aspects of game on her.
The last couple of days she's been pretty down with work stuff, I've tried cheering her up by making her feel better about herself etc, which works for a little bit. The problem is I don't want to come across AFC by complimenting her all the time, and end up the guy she just goes to with her problems etc.
Any good ideas on how to approach this?
Cheers
I remember overhearing a girl who had just lost a relative talking about how she was comforted by two different guys. One tried to talk about her problems, the other just made her laugh. She said the guy who made her laugh made her feel better.

It isn't hard to work out why, changing her mental state positively is going to work better than making her think about her problems again, even if you are trying to help her with them.

Of course, you have to strike a balance to avoid coming across as insensitive. The difficulty is that she will probably keep going back into her funk whenever you pull her out of it. Try involving her in some activity-eg, what did you really like doing when you were a kid? Do that.

Here's an NLP trick that really works for me. Get her to imagine she is in a cinema watching a screen. Tell her to think of the events which are bothering her (I know this contradicts what I just said but you'll see why). Tell her to imagine these events taking place in a small black-and-white rectangle in the middle of the screen. Now get her to imagine the events speeded up and comic with the Benny Hill music, or some other ridiculous and comic music if you don't know that, playing in the background.
Finally get her to replay everything backwards and then go through the process again a few times. Tell her to think of her problems this way in future.

She should begin to put the thing in perspective and begin to feel better. We have an extraordinary amount of control over how we remember things emotionally by simply changing the visual images we associate with them.

Probably not a good idea to do this with really tragic stuff, but things like work-related problems are not usually in that category.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 12:49 pm 
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Thanks for the help guys, I managed to cheer her up good by changing the subject and making her think about good memories. Lol @ WorkEthic, that's ace.
I was a little worried about being insensitive but i think it went ok. I'm sure this'll come up again in future so cheers for the tips :)


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