I need help quick! I will most likely see her tomorrow in the computer lab!


I called her yesterday, but she was with her friends. She asked if I could text her, and I asked if I can just call tomorrow (I hate texting) I call her here for the second time, and the answering machine is a guy speaking Italian. I thought it was Spanish

Then she texts

HB -Hey, sorry bout the answering machine XD it's italian btw (: annd whats up?

Me - You're funny haha. What's the story behind that? I just finished playing guitar, so I thought I would give you a call.

HB- (She tells me)

Me- That's the way to do it! I got confused! Ha ha. You should make a funny one next!

HB -Xd i dont know what'd i'd do! XD

Me -Oh come on! You can think of something. Maybe mine will give you inspiration.

HB - XD i'm doing my hair but i'll check it later

Me - You don't need to do you hair! Just go to school with it all Frizzy. Then we can all stare!

HB -XD NO

Me - So what kind of trouble have you been getting yourself into this weekend?

HB - Nonne XD

Me- I'll believe you this time.

HB - Xd what didn't you believe?

Me- I'm just messing with you (name).

HB - Ohhh haha (:

Me - So tell me something interesting about yourself!

HB - Ummm i have alot of gay best friends (:

Me - That is interesting. You don't have to worry about them hitting on you! Enless they're girls. Uh Oh!

HB - Xd They're not.

Me- That's good to know. What's something fun you did this weekend? fight any bears?

HB - Nothing at all (:

Me - No fun at all? that sounds boring. We should go on a treasure hunt! that will be fun!

This is where it starts going downhill.

(She doesn't respond)

Me - I'll bring the map! you bring the shovels!

HB - Baahaha

Me - Hey, Texting is frustrating. Do you want to talk?

HB - I'm with my friend

Me - Aw, too bad. I'm funner on the phone. Maybe next time. Texting will have to do until then.
(Maybe a little too cocky?)

HB - Mmkay
(what kind of response is that?)
Me - Drugs are bad. Mmkay

No response

Me- That's the first thing I though of Ha ha
(Maybe dorky?)
No response

Me - Did you get all 40 of those drawings done?

HB - Nope. Not yet.

Me - you Slacker!
(teasing her)
HB - Mmmm
(again what kind of response is that?)
Me - ???

Longer pause

Me - Well, Hey, you should give me a call when you get a chance. I'm going to finish studying for my psych test.
(at this point I realized that she's not interested, so I said this with the intention of ending the conversation by sounding nonchalant . Kind of like I don't care. I expected her to say something like "oh ok" and just not call. I give up on her at this point)
HB - I can't ><
(What does she mean she can't? does her phone not make calls?)
Me- Why is that?
(her response was weird. What does she mean she can't? If she doesn't want to she can say "no" or "ok" and not call.)
Then she hasn't texted back since.

This whole sequence of texts was an hour and a half, so you can see that those pauses were pretty long.

I will possibly see her tomorrow in the lab. What should I do?

And also, what went wrong?

Okay mate,

I'm going to break this down for you as best I can because there are several things you did wrong here.

It actually began to go downhill from the moment you fell into the 'message trap'. You should of said 'no worries' and called her later. Always call, you only message girls 'after' you have hooked up with them. Messaging before shows a lack of confidence and after the first few messages you were just harrassing her dude.

She actually gave you several hints that you didn't pick up on. For instance when she said
HB -Im doing my hair but I'll check later (that meant she was busy and didn't want to talk)

When she started giving you mono-syllabic answers such as 'NO' and 'none' she was trying to end the conversation. You might notice that she was only asking you questions when she thought you were insulting her e.g. 'what didnt you believe?' other than that you were asking 'ALL' the questions.

When she didn't respond at all she was trying to end the conversation

When she said I'm with 'my' friend that most likely meant she was with a dude at the time or she just really didn't want to talk either way she was trying to end the conversation.

Look I can go on and on but really you were just trying way too hard. Have you ever heard the proverb 'even a dog will run away if you chase it?' You were just acting wayyy too keen dude there was no challenge in it for her and I hate to say this but you have blown your chances and if your not careful, her friends as well.

Now if you want to make good on this HEED MY WORDS. Whatever you do... next time you see her make sure you IGNORE HER because I promise you by this stage she has been telling her friends that you were stalking her etc. and save yourself the humiliation! if she says anything to you just act like you couldn't care less. Even if she apologises for her behaviour act aloof.

PEACE OUT

_________________
"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Been in the situation and learned from it.


You texted too much, basically. You're too available. I've learned that even if you feel like you could speak to someone all day, for whatever reason it is unnattractive (always think counter-intuitively with women!). Always be on the go, even if you aren't.


I wouldn't even ever ask questions like "tell me something about yourself" in text game, personally. Those are things you want to save for one on one chat. Texting should be simply: teasing, sexual teasing, flirts, and making arrangements, among other things. Honestly, from my experience, I've learned text/phone convos should always be short and sweet.

"Well, Hey, you should give me a call when you get a chance"

says

Well, hey, I'm available all day and eagerly await your attention

and so does sending her a text when she doesn't respond. Next time, with her or anyone, she is unresponsive, you don't do anything. I despise texting for this reason, because you KNOW they have their phone, but aren't answering you. Girls are better at this game, TRUST ME!

You appear very AFC as it goes downhill and she starts to ignore you.

IE if she said "i cant' to calling you, you should have said, "ill have to find someone who can," or to be more humorous, "are your thumbs too big to press the buttons? "

Always end the conversation on YOUR terms and when it has reached a HIGH point (ie good flirts, then say you've gotta go.. ALWAYS!!)



As for what to do now: move on. Seriously, don't even try anything with this. If she likes you, she will let you know. But you're shit out of luck right now.

Thank you guys for the tough breakdowns and honesty! I really appreciate it. Looking back I see what I did wrong, and I'm going to learn from it.

Oh I despise texting so much!

Ok, so this was weird.

I'm there in the lab, and some guy in her class comes in, and we start talking. We're in the middle of conversation, and she comes in with her friend, and say's hi to him, then her and her friend join in on the conversation. Then a couple more people join in. So now it's a small group of people talking about whatever. It's as if nothing ever happened. She mustn't have been creeped out by me, because I found her talking directly at me giving eye contact a lot of the time. It was so normal.

I don't know what to think anymore. ha ha

Well ignoring her when you first wen't in was a good move.

Remember 'two steps forward one step back'. The fact that she was expecting all this attention from you and got nothing made her curious, that and knowing girls she probably told her friend about the messages so when she wen't in there she was expecting you to be all over her to validate what she said to her friend(s) about you.

When you did nothing it made her look stupid so she decided to come over and entice you into hitting on her, once again trying to validate what she said about you and also placate her own ego. This is a good sign, if ive read this right it probably means shes quite insecure and it sounds like this played out well for you (you might still be in for a shot).

Now next time she comes to talk to you maybe neg her about her 'ice queen' personality. This will make her feel and look like she's socially at fault for being boring, uncool etc. rather than yourself. Maybe make a hand motion like your chipping ice off her and say something like 'hmm maybe we should go put you in the sun for awhile maybe thaw some of that ice off of you'.

She'll probably apologize and you'll make her feel like a bitch.

Either way, good work mate. Keep playing the game, I thought all was lost but I'm impressed GREAT recovery you played it very cool.

_________________
"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I actually think my problem with the texting is not knowing what the other person really means. for a while I thought she was shy, so I was trying to be playful, and not let the conversation die (if texting can even be considered a conversation) but looking back maybe I did look a little AFCish. Next time I'll just flat out refuse to text.

About today, It was so normal, it was weird. I did find myself acknowledging what she had to say maybe a tad more than the other people, but I broke off into a short conversation with the original guy for a bit too, while she is talking to her friend. Then it was a group thing again.

I'm a little unclear on how to do the Ice Queen neg. How would I go about doing that? If I mention her boring/lack of interest in her texts, that sounds needy, and like I was dwelling on it. However, just calling her an ice queen for no reason doesn't make much sense to me.

Again, thanks for the critiques. Just like in my art, I hate people just saying "oh it's so good" I like people to say "What is that? fix that. Do this. Etc..."

It's just a playful neg you could use on her if you got another 1 on 1 set. Really dude, I'm not there with you I can't fully assess the situation so your going to need to make the call on your own. However what I do know is you have her attention so at least your on the radar now.

So...
-Just keep playing it cool.
-Try and flirt with other girls in front of her (whilst ignoring her)
-Don't make any grand romantic gestures
-Let her come to you

Heres how I would do the ice queen set.

Me: You know, your really nice. it's a shame your not my type
HB: What do you mean "I'm not your type?"
Me: Well I just think beauty's really common and i'm definately more a personality kind of guy.
HB: (shocked) What's wrong with my personality?
Me: Well no offence but your a bit of an ice queen. (do the ice chipping motion while laughing) I like more adventurous girls
HB: I'm totally adventurous
You: Hmm I'm really not convinced... Prove it.

etc (be creative)...

Now you have her asking you the questions and she's trying to validate herself to you, she's now playing ball in 'your' court. I don't care who the girl is this is solid, I have used this particular set many times without fail.

_________________
"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger