I read the Game way back in Fall '07 and made huge strides sense then with help from Les Giblin's classic "How to Confidence and Power in Dealing with People." Seriously that is a life changer. Sense I was a sophomore in High School I have battled with depression in three distinct episodes. The current one has been going on since August of last year. In order to be successful, one must be congruent with what one is doing. THis is in life as well as Pick-up. I fear that when I am out tonight or any night running game that my depression will show through. I am confident that I can control it enough for a few hours but when I come from a place of pain and sadness, how can any of this stuff work. Now tonight when I go out, I am intent on bringing a girl home with me and am confident that I will do this in spite of my internal struggles. If ya'll have battled nagging depression I am interested in learning what you did to cope with it while you were still sarging. Good luck, you know I am pulling for ya, we're all in this together. (This next part is just for clarification and not part of my original topic) I know that in order to become not depressed one must locate the source of the depression. I feel that long ago I negotiated the source of why I initially felt so sad but since than it appears that the source is no longer relevant as much as the depression itself.

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

You are totally coming at this from the wrong perspective. The goal of the night is NOT to bring a girl home. In fact, if you make that the goal, you will fail! I can guarantee it!

The goal of the night SHOULD be to have fun. If you have fun, girls will notice. When girls notice you are having fun, they will want to share in that fun. Next thing you know, you have 2 girls on each arm.

If you are going out and not having fun, the question you should be asking is, why? Do you enjoy the company of the people you are with? Do you enjoy being social? Often I find that things like social anxiety and depression run together. So you're absolutely terrified of going to a new place with tons of strangers and that just pushes you into a (depressed) shell and state of mind. Make sense?

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"A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes." - Mohandas Gandhi

This is a completely true statement... very well put.

All I can say to you is, I've got a feeling you have to dig a bit deeper and understand the root cause of your depression and secondly, I think you need to read a bit more books and get a reality check in relation to what picking up girls is all about, because at the moment (no offense) I think your interpretation of girls is a bit too materialistic and a way of measuring your success. Just put yourself in their shoes! Would you come up to a guy who obviously looks horny and is approaching only the hottest girls in club automatically going for a grope and a kiss close? Or would you come up to the same guy who appears to be genuinely having a blast, dancing with you like there's no tomorrow and being an all round fun guy? I'm not saying this is what you do since I've never met you but I just provided that example just put what I'm saying into perspective. In order to be the latter type of guy, you can be a poser and learn to act like one or you can learn to become one. I suggest to become that guy simply because i think as you'll read in the next paragraph, it will lead to you overcomming your depression.

I've had depression for over three years now and it has taken me this long to realise that the stuff that I got off my shoulders to my shrink a long long time ago when it first started wasn't even the surface of my problems and I'm only now starting to figure out the root causes for those issues. Unfortunately I don't think understanding the causes is enough, as I'm pretty sure you have to change your behaviour and mindset in line with those realisations. The beauty about the realisations is that I think they all will be based around the principles of knowing yourseld and being yourself. Hope that helps.

wow. depression.

it's something i've dealt with for many years but i feel i'm finally getting to grips with it (i have ups and downs) with a positive mental attitude and realisation I MUST CHANGE in order for my happiness to escalate.

don't isolate yourself in a depressive spell - thats killer i learnt that the hard way even though when you're depressed you don't feel like socialising muhc. hopefully you have some friends/family who can be supportive and understand your situation and help you through rough patches.

never give up on anything, just have the mental attitude that you won't give in to any shit and you'll defeat the depression, it can happen if you allow yourself to do it.

treat depression like a learning phase. think of the strength you have gained from being down and then raising yourself to come out stronger the other side.
there are positives to a depression although its hard to see it depending on your mindstate. make sure you see them.

as for depression and gaming i know what its like man. its rough.
but dont be trying to go out and get women just to try and get you out of a slump if thats the case.
like everyone has said, make it fun. i understand you can't when you're depressed you can only really act your normal self, this takes brainpower and saps the energy from a body already starved of energy.
dont force yourself out there. go out on a good day when the symptoms arent so bad and you might be able to build some confidence and make a base from that one point in your life.
if you're miserable and you really don't feel like going out clubbing or whatever don't do it for the sake of it, it's meant to be enjoyable not a drag.
besides you wont get a quick lay when you're morose and feeling down, you'll give off vibes even if you're managing to act your normal self.

take things easy and try to not force anything, go with the mood. to an axtent though. don't let the mood dominate you entirely you have to fight it 100% of the way.

hope thats helped somewhat.

and another thing, no amount of talking to shrinks will lessen your problems unless you have no friends to share problems with. it's expensive and they will merely tell you things you intuitively knew already, there's no magic pill you can swallow to make things go away. rememeber antidepressants only mask the problem THEY DO NOT FIX IT.
only you can change yourself, not another soul in the world will or can do that for you.

stay strong.

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Looking to meet up with people in Scotland to get my PUA skills on the go.

OMFG, I can't believe I fell into that trap. In Missoula (I am back home in Billings) whenever I went out I was just concerned with having a good time whenever I went out. I think I read somewhere on this forum about guys who went out and were determined to get laid and did. I think that is what confused me. No wonder I felt so stressed that night. Huh, well I guess we all make mistakes and shit and that is cool. Now I just have to remember to go out with the sole intention of having a good time. Admittedly, in Missoula, I totally and completely missed opportunities to do stuff w/ a few girls because I was not in the moment and had no idea I could have done stuff with them. That is all about just going with flow you know (as I said before) staying in the moment. As far as the depression goes, mine is more bio-chemical because I can feel distinctly when something is wrong. In this case, attitude can only carry one so far but it is important none the less. Through therapy and other shit I will be rid of what I am currently going through. Now, I don't how it is for ya'll but the two times that my depression ended before was when I had a moment of enlightenment. Like an epiphany you know (once from my therapist and the other from the book Jarhead and Other Battles by: Anthony Swofford). Ace, what you said about anti-depressants is exactly true for me. When I took them back in '02 they just made the shit I was dealing with worse. I am going to a concert today and hopefully a Bar or two tomorrow. I think I am going to feel up enough for the latter. Hey guys I really do appreciate your input here. This helps me a lot.

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

mystery says that you have to enjoy PUA the same way you enjoy fishing: you're not going to get a bite all the time or maybe not at all but you have to enjoy the process. fishers enjoy sitting by the lake and enjoying the serene beauty of nature or the company of a good friend. in PUA, you have to enjoy the process of going out, socializing and meeting new people.

if i'm mistaken, you're depression probably stems from the fact that you're probably not that sociable of a guy. PUA is about exposing yourself to things that you're not familiar or that good at: socializing. the reason why most men's innate pick up abilities render them AFC's is because of the fact that you think you're supposed to go after only one woman at a time and not even acknowledge other women.

get out there, socialize, talk with people and although you won't be getting laid right away just enjoy the fact that you're out and about meeting new people.

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Peace,

Love John

"The cure for one-itis, PUAs like to say, is to go out and have sex with a dozen other girls- and then see if this flower is still so special." Style

Good point LJ. Before I read the Game and got in to PU and seduction I was not that social of a guy. I told my brother that I did not know how to act. Well with The Game and this forum and a whole bunch of related shit, I figured out how to be a sociable person. When I got back from school in December '07 I went out to the bars and felt more socially comfortable than I ever have before. Because of a bad attitude and as bunch of other shit, I never made a whole lot of progress. Les Giblins tome How to have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People fixed that like six months ago as did something from Ross Jeffries that said that if you dwell on negative experiences than you will always go backwards. As long as you take your losses as lessons (that takes a good attitude, aka inner game) you will always move forward. Now my depression is something I can feel, making me believe it was/is physiological. You know brain chemistry type shit. Right now I am reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It has been recommended a lot on this forum and let me tell you, it works. It has helped my depression, bujt not ended it which is fucking awesome. Trust me ;this book will help your inner game if you still have issues. Trust me if you don't think you do, you still may. Howeverd the book takes a bit of an open mind as the material goes pretty fucking deep but, for the price of awesome inner game and the ability to be always in the present moment, get and let your mind absorb it. Don't think about it. Hahaha, what the book takes to read, it will teach you as well. Anyway, got to go LJ. Gonna use the Apocalypse opener tonight and am even willing to use it on girls I already know. Shove it Ciaran!!! Hahaha

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

Not related to PUA... But...

Don't battle depression directly, and by that I mean, don't ALWAYS avoid feeling depressed. This may seem stupid, but what I think is (I am kind of a depressive person too, I always refused to take meds though)

Sometimes, like, once a week or something: CRY, cry like a motherfucker, if you can, really really suffer, bang your head against the pillow, listen to shitty sad songs, etcera.

Don't overdo it, of course: once a week.

Often depression is caused by you repressing your own feelings.
Still, if it gets really serious you should get some help.

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A bullet shaped hole where the answers should be.

So I went out last night and used the Apocalypse opener twice with no success. It was kind of a weird night because of everyone being out of town for the forth whatnot. I also can tell ya'll that I figured out that I will never achieve my full potential within PU until I become not depressed anymore. Simple as that. Until then, my goals will be hard, impossible maybe, to achieve. Shit like the Apocalypse opener takes so much balls that you better have your inner game just locked up tighter than leather pants on the ass of a supermodel. So, I am capable of getting laid, but going out and busting my chops at clubs and shit may not be the way to go. I will still go out, but just to have a good time with out any real thought to getting laid and sarging whatnot.

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

I used to have pretty bad depression. (as well as a few other negative things) I found that when I am bored, it is worse. So I made it a point to always be doing something. I would go for a walk, or ride a bike whenever I'm not feeling so well. Try to not be alone. Constantly find time to be with people. Music is a big one. I used to be really into Korn. All their songs are self detrimental. a friend of mine turned me onto Power Metal, which is all about courage, and freedom. (There's nothing wrong with listening to negative music, about violence and such, just don't let it be towards yourself and your own emotions.) The music you listen to really does have an effect on your well being. I used to think I needed a girl to be happy. No sane girl will want to be with someone who will bring her down. So you must learn how to be happy by yourself. Most importantly, (this might sound a little new age kooky) But your thoughts are the biggest thing here. What you think, is what you get. It you believe your going to be sad, then you will be. If you believe you are fine, then you will be. In fact, I even told myself "Everything is great! I have no worries" I was obviously lying to myself. However, once you keep telling yourself that everything is good. Eventually you will start to believe it.

Check out this blog about thinking positive. This is the main thing that helped me realize all this. The person who wrote the blog is Kyle Cease. He is a funny comedian (my favorite personally), and he actually won the standup showdown a few months ago.


http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuse ... =355237737

Check out his other blogs too. They help so much!

He's not just a comedian, kind of a novice motivational speaker, and has some great audio and video

The journey out of depression is hard, but the best thing you will ever do!

I too suffer from depression.. a quote I read which is actually Buddhist... by the way meditation helps, not that i am religious or anything. but the quote goes like this.

"Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future. Concentrate your mind on the present moment." -Buddha

-do not feel bad about the rejections you have received - they are in the past
-do not dream about having sex with the HB you are talking to - thats a future possibility
-DO enjoy what is happening in the present

Meditation is about focusing on the present moment to control your emotions, many people have overcome depression through doing just this...

I like that quote and think it can work well for pickup mindset in general

heres what you can do immediately.

Sit down and get a timer watch. Set it on 26 minutes. Why 26 minutes.. i dont know, it works.

So, sit like buddha and close your eyes. Now, concentrate on your 5 senses.

Turn on a fan and concentrate on the sound of the fan. As soon as one thought comes into your mind, slap yourself in the face. Im serious.

Focus only on your breathing and on the sound of the fan.

You will find it almoust impossible and you will want to quit. But stick to it. Keep comming back in the present state. After 20 minutes, you will be fully present. The last five minutes will feel like you are reborn.


Do that for 3 days, and notice how you feel.

Try it.

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I've been dealing with depression since I was 16 or so........ that and the fact that I'm bi-polar. I can approach girls just fine and some days I feel great and other days I dont feel that I'm good enough for anyone. I've tried Zoloft and that was nice but I dont feel like being medded up my entire life and shrinks dont help any.

Been reading THe Power of Now and let me tell you, it has helped me exponentially. On my road trip to Bozeman and Missoula two weeks ago I really felt how TPoN helped. I got no close, though I could have, but I could tell my Innger Game was solid and I learned from each set I opened. Wow, it was really special. Now I am wanting to go to Bozeman and Helen but unfortunately, over my last MCC spike in the Bighorn Mountains I did not read it, I read and finished "On the Road" instead, which is a decent book to read for IG and just a good book in general. THat may have been a mistake because right now whenever I try to feel from the inside like Eckhart says, which forces you to become centered and present, tears come to my eyes. I don't know why this is but it just is. Just another outgrowth of the depression. So, read the Power of Now. It will help even if it will not cure your depression. Good luck.

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

I say goddamn it feels good to post. Whoa! So since my last post my depression got worse. To a point that I have not been out in like two weeks. But whatever, today I feel great and am going out. I started feeling better only after I got a prescription for mood stabilizers which right noe I fgeel as though I don't really need. I thought to myself "Why do I need drugs to feel better?" and the truth is I don't. Now I will be honest, I don't want to take any because than I can't drink. Not to say I am a big drinker but I might have four drinks in three hours. Not a whole lot but still alcohol none the less. So I am not going to have any drugs and I am going to accomplish my goals, oh and most importantly, yes, I AM going to start reading TPoN and the books I bought on NLP like a month ago. Good luck gentleman.

_________________
Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.