Hey everyone!
I'm not new to the game or anything, but when it comes to relationships and ex-girlfriends I really do have my foot in my mouth.

We met, where together for a few months, last week we met up after 3 months of not seeing each other. Had a nice dinner, went to a nice club, got home really late and nothing actually happened. Anyways, we spoke the next few days and then one of her messages that said she went to get me a CD of the singer we saw at the club...I called her and told her straight up "We're not buddies." and her response was, I know, but nothing sexual can happen as she doesn't want to be in any kind of relationship. Told her thats fine, and im just stating my point that we're not friends. She said we have a good time together and we should go out again. I said sure, and at some point i'll grab you and make my move...she said she'll resist. I said, do what you have to do!!

Come today where she needed some help at a hospital (I deal with Medical Insurance and helped her out get some tests done) We had a nice talk, I did my kino, got nothing out of her.....Nothing!

So....Where the hell do I go from here? Have no idea! Im stumped at the next move.

FYI, we do have a great time, and we had great sex. I like her and the only reason we broke up is cause she feels pressure (all on her own mind you) about being in a relationship.

Oh man, these are tricky questions but lets take a look, shall we:

1. You HAD fun
2. She wont respond to your KINO
3. You guys had 3 month breake
4. Only YOU are chasing her and not vice versa

I cant make the decision for you but sometimes its hard to let go if you once had feelings toward someone.
You guys had 3 month breake and in that time the feelings that she had may have turned cold or she has just moved on. Maybe you two should just sit down and talk things through so you know where you guys are. If things wont work out than perhaps its better to waste your time to look a new girl than just trying to make something work that is impossible to fix.

You will find the aswer. Maybe not from this forum but from the girl that you have been going out.
All the best!

[ Johnny B ]

_________________
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. ~Author Unknown
Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small. ~Ruth Gendler

Thanks for the reply my friend.
All is you said is very true. I should say though, as you pointed out, she is not chasing me. And the truth is, she doesn't chase! Period! She's a firm believer in the "Man in the Hunter" ...She doesn't get enthused very easily! This I know first hand, and from her best friend. Its not something I know, its something her best friend swears on. She never chases.

And the thing is, is that, even when I first met her, she didnt want a relationship then either....I played the game really well then...just need to figure it out now!

And you're right...Im not going to be her stand-by guy.....Cause her words where "We have fun, its hard to fine, I am alone, and we should keep seeing each other. I dont know what could happen"

which to me is crap! but anyways!

Ah..PS....Neither of us where ever really In Love with each other...We where just genuinely having a good time together.

I'm not a pick-up artist by any means. In fact I suck at it. What I am good at is 1. reading people 2. Manipulating ex-girlfriends.


The words she speaks to you are designed to rein you in without committing to anything. She probably realized during the time you were apart that she wants you around but she doesn't want to give you anything you want. Here is what I would do.

First, hang out with her sparingly. Not often, but enough to keep her around. Second, treat her like you would treat any one of your buddies (DON'T make a move). Sexual innuendo is optional. Finally, use your PUA skills to bring another girl into the picture and introduce them (but only briefly... Don't let them bond).

You should be able to get her to respond that way. Hope this helps.

_________________
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

~Gandolfini

haha! Thats actually very acurate! You're right, she doesn't want to give me anything I want! She even said that more or less!

Might be a way to go! I suppose the lack of interest might reel her in. What Im worried about is this. She's one of these women that uses the term "A Real Man would do...." this or that.....So just pushing her up on my car door and move in with some bla bla and a slow moving kiss is a no no?

I wouldn't make any move until I've primed her with treating her like a distant buddy and introduced her to my new girl. Women are idiots, they get jealous of the dumbest things. Making her think you don't want her will make her wonder why. Bring another girl into the picture will make her want you.

SHE WANTS YOU TO CHASE. Playing her game you can't win. You have to reel her into your game. If she say's a real man does something, she's trying to manipulate you into doing something. Don't be her entertainment. Although I'm not a a very good pickup artist, I've read a lot of books on being one. Some of the basic fundamentals of a PUA in all books is to make the girl chase you. To do that you can't give in to their wants.

If she refuses to respond to you after you've done all that. She's a pain in the ass and not worth your effort. Drop her as a friend and fuck buddy.

_________________
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

~Gandolfini

Hey Rounder, man your story is something I can relate to. I'm in a situation exactly like yours. The reason for breaking up is kinda similar too. Her issues about her life.

I don't want to hijack this thread or turn it into an agony aunt topic, but I'm as puzzled as you are as to what way to go. Basically I think I should not contact her but I know that eventually as time goes by the tension can be lost. It sucks.

Thanks for the tip Gandolfini. I do agree with you in not being reeled into her game.

....Her exact words to me where, "It would be nice to go out once in a while" and when i said to her "Just leave things the way they are!" she got actually was like "what do you mean?!?" But Im not going to play her game.

Whip, Im sorry to tell you this buddy, but I don't think I'm actually going to do anything. I just don't find the effort worth it. If anything, she should be the one chasing me. At the end of the day, I have a great more to offer than she does me...

As you can tell from the responses, "Get a girlfriend" was one of the main pointers. You know what, thats exactly what Im going to do! Someone better who doesn't have "life problems" Cause Whip, at the end of the day my friends, we all have problems and issues. Daily. Its just that some people know how to deal with them. Our ex-girlfriends, obviously don't understand the meaning of a relationship.

Thanks for all the advice guys.

In a similar situation to this, though, we were in love, pretty intense relationship, but I ended up pushing her away and she fell out of love with me. I gamed her a bit the last time i saw her, it appeared to work a bit, phone/txt communication is pretty crappy most the time, so I try to stay away from it.

How I'm handling it though, is trying to treat her like an old buddy, acting very indifferent, not showing any sign of having desire for her back. Pile that on with a LOT of showing you're getting on with your life and DHV, and im being my normal playful cocky self [but holding back on the obvious sexual flirting(this can be brought back later)] very sly kino, she even initiated some of her own, while keeping her seeing how fun I am to be around, how content with life I am etc...

And im being careful to not be there for her whenever she wants, not being always available, the hard thing im finding though, is when she needs someone there for her, I dont want to just not be there for her, but at the same time I can alwas be there for her, and made it clear.


I know I spoke vastly about myself there, but the last two paragraphs were advice. As I think that may be useful to you. I hope you can take something from it [and also anyone advise me on anything im doing right/wrong or could do better].



~Blend