OK so here is the deal. I am new onto this site. i dunno how i found it. I really have no game. I have a couple of lady friends that will come over and hang out at our appartment. but I guess i just cant get out of the "friend" zone. I also am in college and do not drink at all while EVERYONE around me is hammered. for some reason the fact that the girls are drinking and I am sober. they will talk to me but they do not feel comfortable around me. Im not sure what I am doing wrong. I have no problem introducing myself and talking to them "small talk" but when it comes to anything with a relationship or dating. i just cant initiate that conversation. O and by the way. there is almost no possible way of me meeting any girls in class considering all my classes are in an engineering building across campus. can anyone make any suggestions on how i can initiate that part of the conversation. or any places would be good to meet girls that will not make them feel uncomfortable?

Well first off buy the book "The Game" which this site seems to be based off of.

In regards to you not drinking.. if you have a strict reason for it then it's understandable.. if you just don't do it because you're new to college and what not you don't have to get drunk but if you nurse the same beer the entire night girls will feel more comfortable... it's just that when they're drunk, sober guys just want to take advantage of them or are narcs.

Simply put you need confidence which it sounds like you don't really have. You either have to build it, or the fast track is have one of your friends throw you head first into situations that it's either succeed or get humiliated.

I took the latter route as I wasn't the best at it either. My friend just threw me into situations with girls that was either fly or die.. and it took a few times until i realized it wasn't necessarily confidence or skills. It's really how much you care about what they'll think of you if you fail. If you stop caring then your confidence will go up but it's currently hampering your confidence in talking to girls

I hope this helps

that helps me a little. but are their any pointers that you can give me before i go and buy the book?

There are thousands of posts on this site... If you want to save a buck, spend some time browsing around. You'll get answers to just about any question you have.

Why don't you drink? Drinking is wonderful. At the very least it will loosen you up a bit to 'ask the hard questions'. Just don't get hammered... Hammered is bad.

truth!

i only get hammered after i realized theres no HB's worth it at a party and i get to play a mean game of catch up with my friends

If they dont feel comfortable its probably because you arent comfortable with yourself. Now when I goto parties I drink, just enough to feel it so it doesnt interfere with my sarge and at the same time I feel totally normal approaching random hot chicks, which I usually do anyway but liquid courage is just too easy

alchoholism runs in my family. and i have seen what it has done. i dont even want to get myself started

thanks for the help too. i appreciate it a lot...

Well having a drink of any kind in your hand can be a good opener. Back in my pre alcoholic days I'd always have a soda or something in my hand and the drunk girls would always question w/ "Wheres your beer?" or "Why arent you drinking?" Id always use the opportunity to make myself sound responsible..."Im taking it easy, gotta take my little sister to the dentist early tomorrow morning. So I wont be staying too long. But you should drink for the both of us!"

Just as long as you look like youre having a good time and enjoying the people there. It shouldnt be a big deal.

hope that helps at all

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