Im 26 shes 23...Ive been in a relationship with her for close to two years.
Before i met her i was king dingaling....a student of the game and seduction but an amateur at long term relationships.

Fast Forward two years later and weve hit a wall... we both Love each other more than anything, yet things on her side arent to my liking.

eg...My gut tells me that where she was once proud to show me off and parade me around, now she hides it. she is attracted to charisma...what i had when i first dated her, now it seems ive lost alot of it....shes attracted to guys who move forward
I have been stangnat in my job and life for the last year, recently i refound my mojo and have started hitting life the way a true PUA should, with enthusiasm and passion.

I have fallen in the trap of too comfortable and too nice to her...there is no challenge for her and she is quickly starting to lose interest. She is 4 weeks away from completing a major university thesis which is very important to her. The thesis is on "attachment disorders"..she is currently reading the game..and has studied alot of literature on game.


To me she is a 10..smart and beautiful...her ex of 5 years really stuffed her up..two years before i came on the scene. She still feels as though she wants to get back and say.."hey look at me now"...she wants us to get ahead in life but is losing interest..

A close friend said to break up with her if i wanted to keep her..i understand the reasoning of showing that i am able to walk away. The execution is mmm somewhat difficult as a great deal of love is involved on both sides...I feel at the moment love isnt enough...

I am really working on my game...creating attraction..increasing my social standing....doing what it was that made me attractive...building my charisma back up...


Any advice from you experts on my situation is greatly appreciated. Leave her and find another sort of advice doesnt help me much as its not as simple as that..there is alot of love and emotion involved... Advice from those who have been in a relationship and understand or "what they did" is greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance guys , its great we have forums like these to help better ourselves!

If you are attributing the problems in your relationships to how you "act" then the simple solution is to move forward with being who you really are. If you go back to being yourself, then she will notice. Its not something you need to go out of your way to display, but rather on a regular basis be the person you want to be.

Side note: if your looking for ways to spice up your relationship. Do something with her you've never done. Take that fantasy trip you've always talked about. Pull out some new crazy shit in the bedroom.

Sorry to be the one to have to tell you this but you're in total denial. You have to lighten up. Things are actually very simple: you believe she's losing attraction for you and you're actually losing your composure, hence the whole "refound mojo" justification.

If you sense something is wrong with the relationship, you may want to bring it out into the open and suggest some time apart. This is the best for both of you: it gives you both the space needed to realize how awesome (or not) you truly are.

Listen to your friend! If you do not end things, she will, and it will absolutely rape your self-esteem. I'm not just saying "beat her to the punch" -- handle it like a gentlemen who cares about the relationship, and, make sure that above all, you let her know that you want her to remain part of your life, girlfriend or not.

This "all or nothing" situation creates a sense of urgency, rings alarm bells in her head that she's about to get tossed and her perspective changes entirely from "jesus christ what a fucking tool" to "whoa, he's breaking up with me?" sort of deal. That is, of course, unless she really, really doesn't want anything to do with you.

You know, that, or you weren't having kinky enough sex.

Thanks alot guys....very wise words.... Very similar to what ide be telling someone in my shoes...hence why im getting an external viewpoint...its so hard to think properly when youre the one in the relationship

I want breaking up as a last resort...and yes i am in denial to an extent but the problem with breaking up is it can go either way. I a girl broke up with me, ide flick the switch and remove her from my life....at least for a year or so to let emotion and feeling die down.

My approach at present is " distant and occupied with all other facets of my life" and i do notice her on the backfoot which is great! i hate to do this to her but i understand the realitys of relationships.... and the realitys of game and attraction

rarity is something thats not common...something highely sort after....something very hard to obtain.....im trying to be rare!.

Keep the great comments and ideas coming, you guys are great!

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders man, you're just blinded by the one-itis right now. It happens to the best of us. Your current plan sounds great, but it almost seems painful for you to be attractive to her.

NEVER LET YOUR SENSE OF MORALS GET IN THE WAY OF DOING WHAT IS RIGHT.

Note that the "time apart" suggestion I made isn't done with the intention of ending things completely -- but has the potential to. It is a real gamble to play this sort of game but I can tell you that a 2-year relationship isn't just shrugged off. She will definitely still have strong feelings for you -- whether she will move on or try and pursue you -- that is the ultimate question and only time can tell.

For now, keep being the bad-ass mofo you are. Maintain your composure.

Thanks 'head' for your words of advice and encouragement, theyre greatly appreciated.

In response to your statement, being 'attractive' to her doesnt pain me but what it does is makes me think twice before simple things like replying to a text...or as ive been doing recently....not replying to a text. I got complacent and now im working to fix the effects.

To summarise my personality as one girl i was playing said...."you are the nicest asshole ive ever met".... I respect women for who they are and on my terms. When they were with me they got a genuine guy who was blunt honest and upfront...if they asked are you seeing other girls my answer would be yes i am. It worked beautifully for me (ive dated models, actors even a miss univers entrant in 2006). I worked my personality into my game. yes i was nice yes i was funny and charismatic and yes ide sleep with alot of girls most on the first date.


I love your time apart suggestion and will give it a shot.

I use to have so many hot girls on the go i wouldnt care about any particular ones tantrums and issues cause there was always another. I dont give up easy but being schooled in the art of game i realise that not giving up doesnt mean 'chasing' but means learning and applying methods to try and have them chase you.

To all the newbies out there reading this, take my experiences from a relationship and learn from them, stay exciting , always challenge yourself and dont lose sight of who you are. Dont let the game play you but instead factor who you are into your game. Always learn

Head- thanks again for the suggestions and encouragement to "maintain my composure" this bad arse Mofo is still a bad arse mofo who loves life and the challenges it brings!

Women by nature want a leader and a support system. If you want to fix things then you have to be her rock....I know it seems odd and un fare but as men our position in the relationship is to be the pack leader and the provider...when we fail to do so not only do women seem less interested but we feel less confident and self assured.

You need to set some goals in your life and then go about achieving them. This can be what ever you want as long as you are passionate about it she will fallow you in your dreams...thats what she wants she wants a man who beleve in what he does and who is going to provide for her. You dont need to be a millionaire...just have passion about life and believe in your self!

Go take up a new hobby (working out, biking, boxing...ect ect.) do somthing you have always wanted to and be passionate about it!

Start working towards your dream job....even if its small steps start doing what you want with your life and really beleve you can do it!

and last suprise your gf....tell your gf your taking her out but dont tell her were, pick her up and give her roses, take her to dinner, and then go do somthing fun! just have fun brother....

I agree with you as well. You really have to beleve in your self and your relationship....women can smell desperation from a mile away and right now you seem very desperate. What atracted her to you in the first place? do that...be fun, have fun ect....

Thanks dark one...much appreciated

And to clarify, yes i am desperate, why...because i care about the outcome...I need to learn to hide that desperation alot better..key point keep moving forward

Tell me one thing though....from your understanding is it normal for girls to bitch and moan about how bad you are in certain areas eg sexlife to their friends?....personally i have a need to know basis about that sort of thing and only i need to know, my friends dont need to know

Im doing my best at picking myself up and moving forward..the problem is that its a slow process and i get anxious and do amateur desperate AFC shit like check her messages etc..
(which feeds my insecurity)... i hate this insecurity im feeling ..i hate being insecure...and ive never been insecure untill now...not good at all

Another friend (who just so happens to have great game) completely disagreed with friend one about breaking up and said...i just need to relax and shes just very tense at the moment due to the pressures of her thesis and to just cut her some more slack......


Thanks again guys

Not having experienced insecurity of course makes you ill-equipped to deal with it.

Think about the fact that if you stop breathing - eventually there is no other care in your head other than that you want to breath. Lay still, and stop breathing, and only take the next breath when you literally cannot think of anything else but the next breath. Then realise that if you only had 3 weeks left on the earth, your priorities would be very different. Then meditate and relax, and think about your life, where it's going, what you want to achieve, and how the heck you are going to achieve it. Think about how old you are and how much time you have left to do things. Think about the fact that you don't yet know who you will marry, it may not be this girl. All of this is hard to face, but once you have done it long enough, you can more clearly see what is important, and not obsess so much over things like a child. You can think about action steps to change your life to feel the way you want it to. And you can see how your insecure behavior needs to be understood - it wont' help you to keep doing it, but why are you doing it, what's the reason? You have to think about what feelings inside are causing this behavior and why you feel this way.

Most of the time, the answer lays in not focusing so hard on the girl, but focusing on what you can do to improve your life, which is going to indirectly attract her, if she really wants you. If she doesn't want you, you can't make her. All you can do is make the best life you can.

is this someone you really want to be with for the rest of your life? do you really want to be playing "the game" forever? no matter how un-afc a man feels he is, he will eventually revert back to being himself and needing the love of a woman whom he loves. there are some things you can fake forever, but if you really need a woman's love, you cant pretend you dont need it forever in a relationship. you cant be fake for the rest of your life. if you two love each other, u shouldnt have to come on here asking for advice on how to be more charasmatic. if you arent comfortable being charasmatic, you can only borrow this strength for so long.

maybe you should start looking for someone else[/i]

I know man you seem to really care about this girl...love makes us do crazy shit lol

hahaha yep love really makes us do crazy shit.....but it can be a beautiful thing aswell.

The problem i found with gaming as a single was that the more girls you picked up and slept with, the harder it would become to find positive qualities in any one single girl, as they would never measure up to the sum of the qualities possesed by all other girls. On the flip side you could always be hugh heffner your whole life

My strategy now is

Be true to myself, do what i love, be unpeturbed by anything, and enjoy life and if she decides thats the party she wants to be part of then so be it....If she decides its not then ive done whatever i could to better myself for myself and will be happy with that.

QUE SERA SERA

I just broke up with her...yes there were tears but it couldnt be helped on both parts..Worst feeling ever but it had to be done..

She sent me the following messages afterwards..i still havent replied

I love you so much, you are the person i respect more than anyone in the world
and the best person ive ever met in my life. I do appreciate you. More than you know, i just have a hard time showing it. I understand why you did what you did.
U deserve the best girl in the world and im not her. I had so much to say to you but couldnt verbalise it. This break up just hit me like a bomb. Im sorry i wasnt a better person for you.I did try, i really really did. Im so sorry i let you down.

followed by this

You turned my life around. U dragged me out from a very dark place and i am so grateful i had you in my life. You are my best friend, i love u.



I havent replied..... so so sad....and not sure what to make of the texts??

gutted boys

Well if you were to take her back now that would be stupid - she agrees with your decision!

I doubt she was trying to get you back or anything. It sounds sincere to me.

So let the dust settle and move on in life. No need to avoid each other completely, still see each other at parties and stuff.

And just see how your relationship as friends develops.

I had someone whom after dating for so long (too long) our relationship improved after we broke up. Things were more positive and chatty, without us being in each others faces all the time.