Hey guys..I'm confused on a few things concerning eye contact.

1. What is the difference between maintaining eye contact as speaking with someone and staring in an odd sense. Everytime i hold eye contact with someone, they usually look away, so i get a feeling of maybe i'm making this person uncomfortable.

2. How do you get eye contact with someone say across the classroom or restaurant, w/o the feeling of STARING the girl down ?

Eye contact has been something I'm really trying to be conscious of now a days, and it's harder for me than i'd originally imagined but it will be something i have down to a T. Say im walking to class and a cute girl is walking my direction, i defiantly make a lot more glances at her direction...and even sometimes i keep my eyes on hers. When i make quick glances i feel like that's a sign of insecurity/anxiety but when i hold my eyes on her face as she's looking another direction and than turns and sees me, i feel like i'm a weirdo who's staring. Any suggestions or enlightments to my predicament? Thanks for reading

I have heard you should make eye contact, hold it, then look down. But I don't like the looking down part. Makes me feel like i am projecting insecurity.

If passing one another i usually hold EC the hole time. If she smiles, I smile. I have tried the slight smile first, but i find making her smile first more rewarding.

From across the room I hold EC, then blink once slowly, and slowly look away. I'll look for EC 2 more times then go in. Unless she smiles, then I go in on a smile (or even sometimes a preen).

I never go passed 3 ECs, too much will cause her to loose interest.

As for while talking. I always stare at their right eye, and mix in an occasional brushing of the rest of her face with my eyes to telegraph my interest. If things heat up i switch to a triangle gaze.

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I don't think you should keep staring at her until she sees you, especially down some corridor she will see out the corner of her eye you looking, and if you keep hold of the eye contact with out smiling that may be abit wierd for her.

Just make quick glances to see if they meet and if they do hold your gaze, and maybe occasionally smile. I'm not sure i would keep staring at her until she looks my way.

The benefit of what you do does show confidence though, which is always a nice trait to have as we all know

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Smile. That's the only way to make eye contact less creepy. Big, happy, I-just-got-laid-and-I'm-loving-it smile.

When speaking to a woman, hold eye-contact when either of you is speaking. Move from one eye to the other. Practice looking at her left eye with your right eye, or her left eye with your left eye, right eye with left eye, right eye with right eye. You're paying attention, but it won't give the impression you're staring. If you are going to look away, look to her left or right, not down. Down suggests inferiority.

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I think holding direct contact should only be done when someone is talking. If no one is saying anything thats when it gets weird. lol

If you are checking her out, and she catches you in the act, make sure you don't look away (Well, if you're interested in her). It's a dominance thing. With animals, the animal that looks away last is showing he is the alpha. If you keep looking away some girls will think you are scared. If she sees you looking at her, just make sure to give a small smile. If she smiles back, you're in the zone.

I disagree here. Smiling back is a common automatic response to someone smiling at you. If she smiles AND continues to look at you for over 3 or 4 seconds THEN you are in the zone. And remember, if you break eye-contact break it to the side, not up or down.

To the side means your looking for other "mates" where as up means your thinking about things and down means your insecure. I think. lol

EvoJ

"Eye contact has been something I'm really trying to be conscious of now a days, and it's harder for me than i'd originally imagined but it will be something i have down to a T."


If maintaining eye contact is hard for you, don't just work on it with girls, work on it with everybody you come in contact with. It doesn't matter if it is your teacher, friends, family, or even the cashier at Target. Make solid eye contact and it won't be difficult or uncomfortable anymore.

this is a double edged sword. i picked up a way of not making eye contact but looking as so from being in a band, it helps break stage fright and if you play enough shows you're so used to it you keep doing it.

Instead of looking down, how about looking up?

Thanks so far for all the help guys!!

I wasn't sure if i should smile or not...i'm defiantly noticing that girls notice my eye contact and give it right back to me for the most part. Some even give small little smirks as they look down...from embarressment, idk to be honest. And of course some just get eye contact and look away.

If you get someone's eye contact and they look away right as they meet yours. Are chances most likely they aren't interested in what they see(first impression of course)? I mean it wouldn't hurt to approach them either way to get a better reading of their thoughts.

One more thing: At the approach and inital part of the conversation, i've been reading about not acting too interesed and what not and then giving them your full attention etc. From stage 1 to w/e should i always maintain strong eye contact...or should i gradually give them more and more?

When applying EC from across a room the best way is to get their attention without having to stare. once EC is made I've found that a raised eyebrow or a half smile works best in eliciting a response to see if they'll hold the gaze. If they do for a few seconds then you're good to go up and talk.

also, when breaking eye contact.. never look down or up but if you can turn your entire head or body instead of just your gaze as it seems like you have purpose and you're not just breaking contact

Eye contact is among the most important tricks in your bag.

Eye contact displays confidence. Eye contact raises your value. Eye contact shows that you are listening to her (when in the comfort part of your sarge). Eye contact shows that you are not staring at her boobs. Eye contact is key.

Now, with eye contact, there are a few moves to help you out. When maintaining eye contact, if you gaze into her eyes... I look into her right eye, this is the Soul Gaze. There is debate upon which eye to look into, but I use her right eye. Another move in your arsenal, and by far my favorite and most effective move, is the Triangle Gaze. This is when, at the right moment with a girl, you glance from one eye, to the other eye, to the lips, and back up to the eyes. This shows your intent and will subconsciously lure her to kiss you. Think of these moves like fishing. Each is a different lure for a different area of the water. When you maintain eye contact, this is a demonstration of you being better than her... or at least shows that you are not afraid of her. Never look up or look down when you look away, though. Looking up is snobbish and looking down shows a lack of confidence. You will be fine as long as you just remain friendly with eye contact. There isn't such thing as too much eye contact, but there is such thing as creepy eye contact. Just stay happy and friendly and you will be fine.

-Apollo

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