so i met this girl about a month ago right when she got out of a 4 year relationship. n we talked a lot just as friends hung out a couple times . thought it would never be anything more.but this past 10 days we began hanging out nearly every day and goin out n partying.

first day last week we went out to a party n i brought her back n we hooked up. next night we slept 2gether again n she kissed me a few times . this happend a couple times the next few days. n we hooked up once more.

id say she slept in my bed 7/10 days.
about a week ago she started flirting with me a lot on fb and was like "find me a bf" and i negged her and disqualified myself. while she qualified herself n said we'd be good 2gether and i said id like to get to know her better.

next day she flirted hardcore like we were 2gether.
"cant wait to see u 2nite! " "miss u!" "xoxoxo"

she often asked what i wanted with us and tried to turn it all on me n said i didnt want a relationship. and i told her im not using her, im not that kind of guy.
she told me shes starting to like me but doesnt want to.

cuz she said she shouldnt like someone so soon after coming out of a 4 year relationship. and she told me how i make her happy and laugh n how she can be herself around me unlike other guys.

she flirts with me on n off all the time. she'd give me resistance just to try to get me to want her. id just turn them around on her.
when she says she should leave i agree n say she should but she never does.
n when i tried to leave her to sleep in another bed she would grab me and pull me on top of her.

but last night she went over to my buddys place n hung out one on one with him. they didnt do anything. but i felt like she was just teasing me n texting me like "so what do u think about so&so cuz i dont really know him well"

i responded with hes a good friend of mine. n was like well u2 have fun 2nite. idk if i shouldve had a tude to her last night or what but she kept asking me what was wrong n said we were just friends n she still wants to meet other guys. i got kinda pissed n said that wasnt cool n i wouldnt wait around.

i think i became too easy/available to her after the first few days. we talked today and i know i prolly fucked up but i asked her what she wants n she says we should just be friends. she wants to continue to hang out like we have been but she doesnt want anything right now n says she doesnt want to hook up anymore either. she texted me saying she feels like a slut for doing it and feels really bad. but i told her i still wanna be friends

i want to keep seeing her n hooking up with her. n id like her to be my gf one day.

so my questions are:
how should i treat her now? like b4, just as friends but kino n neg, disqualify, token resistance. act like we cant be 2gether

should i talk to her less? we talk every day, she usually initiates it 90%
she asked if i wanted to hang on her break between classes for an hour every day.

we havnt talked about that since last week. should i bring it up?

basically idk what to do, i only have ideas. help me out guys, im so confused.
thanks a lot

dang man long ass post

well i think u should give her more feelings you no, as much as girls wanna hook up like guys, almost ALL of them want a relationship type of man. i here girls who are way young like 18 19 saying "wouldnt it be nice to be married...just for it to happen!" so maybe u just need to show that u care about her more if u really wanna turn this into a relationship. idk her that well so i cant say its the best thing, u may no better but from experience that seemed to work. as long as u dont push it to much, just think about it and decide

mR.e

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dont even think just do it!

I dont have success from situations like that, but unfortunately / luckily I have some failures.

So, Im not going to tell you shit that everyone tell here, Mystery stuff and so on, which can be found from any side. Im going to help you with my own experience.

At first, she began to like you because you didnt want anymore then friendship, but you had that attractive personality. She fell for you, she "gamed" you, you fell for her. You started liking her, became too needy ""but last night she went over to my buddys place n hung out one on one with him"".

I cant say that you should have acted, because SHE WASNT ready for it.

What comes to your questions, Id say let it cool down, wait for her to contact (if she doesnt, you contact. There is nothing wrong with that), go out.

Now, its YOUR DECISION what you do. When I was at this point, I fucked up.
1) Trust that she got some feelings for you and GO FOR IT, give all ya got
2) Start the "program" that you used again (Just friends, dont be needy. Have other females)

RISKS:
1) I used this. I didnt have enough attraction, because we really were just friends. After this our friendship wasnt the same anymore.
2) If you wait, wait wait.... She might find someone other.

Life is about taking risks

when you tell you don't want a relationship ( she prolly does ) and become needy she will think you use her for sex..... and that kinda stuff.
Emotions are stronger then rational thought so if she has feelings for you - no matter what she thinks or says she will get attracted and will get invested again.

if you wait for a long time she will find someone else im sure of that

Okay, so you disqualified her for the relationship. . . and told her you weren't looking for one, so she thought you were using her for sex, despite the fact that you said you weren't, because alot of girls think that guys are liars. Then you get a little mad when she doesn't look for a relationship with you, and starts looking elsewhere. And you just said you would like to see her as your gf, so it seems to me that you haven't been completely truthful to yourself, and to her. Instead of saying you weren't looking for a relationship, and trying "to be the pua" you should have been completely honest. "I'm not sure I can handle a relationship right now, but I can definately see myself with you. Why dont we just keep doing what we are doing, and see what happens" its the not the destination dude, its the journey that takes you there.

If you want to keep the option of the relationship open, Call her, and take her out. Not some random college thing on campus, like and ACTUAL date. Get her out of that college element, and show her that you two are doing something for JUST the two of you. And this is where you bring up stuff like this. Depending on her response, depends on your next course of actions. The trick to pick up is to be congruent with yourself, the second that you are not the person you WANT to be, is the second someone gets pissed at you, or starts to treat you like crap.

Just to let you know, she was looking for this type of reaction from you when she went to the friend. She counted on the fact that you two were friends to be able to see if you really did care. . . so now that the cat is out of the bag, its time to take a risk, either you want her, or you dont. You gotta make the decision.

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"Everyone's got a little captn in 'em"

WTF do you want with this girl?

Get that straight first, she threw herself at you. You didn't anticipate on it and now you're in LJBF zone.

ok, good stuff! well the good news if you really had sex w/ her like 7 out of 10 days, if you were even halfway competent then she's going to have a LOT of feelings for you and you probably have a lot more hand here than you realize. you have a couple plays here, but like everybody else here said... you better figure out what it is you want from her first.

most likely, when she went over to your friend's house, she was trying to make you jealous. that's a textbook play, and you really have to be a cold-blooded pimp to not feel jealous. of course you were pissed, it's natural and you shouldn't feel sorry for it. i've had girls i cared nothing about pull this on me and i was fuming, thinking i made a mistake. so she was checking to see if you had any feelings at all for her, and you confirmed it.

you can 1) bring up the incident again and ask her if she was trying to make you jealous (most likely she was, but she very well may not admit to it), tell her it made you feel weird and it was then that maybe you realized that you wanted to date instead of being friends. this is the most honest approach, but probably the least effective.

-or- 2) run the same play back on her. tell her you met this girl who's like a french model or something... make her sound virtually perfect but then say you're not sure whether to take it further because of x. x being a minor flaw that a true friend would tell you to get over. if she tells you to go for it, you've got problems. if she acts jealous or blows the flaw way out of proportion and tells you not to date the girl, you're golden! just lead her on for a little while thinking you've found someone better than her and NOW you're considering starting a relationship. that will probably make her feel exactly how she made you feel. from there, once she's solidly on the hook, you can say something about having more feelings for her and how you think you'd rather date her instead.

3) if you really don't want to date her, then you better get the f out of LJBF territory with a quickness. your best friend here is alcohol. get her drunk, often, and flirt / kino escalate, often. let her know, first nonverbally, and then verbally if you have to, that you have no interest in just being friends. have a strong frame and be unashamed about what you want.

good luck, buddy! i've been there

thanks for the advice. u guys mis read some of my post tho. we slept together 7/10 nights but only had sex 2 of the nights n barely messed around others. n SHE is the one who didnt want a relationship

n i did tell her i could see us being together after getting to know her better, i was just disqualifying as a means of flirting. n she eventually shot me down n said we could be nothing more n how shes now ready. n we still should be friends but not hook up or anything.

since then i took a step back and readjusted my game/personality back to how i was b4 n she went crazy 4 me again. texting me all the time asking me out on dates n sending me those flirty texts.

she tried to suck everything out of me last night asking me if i still liked her n what i wanted with us. asked what i thought about her n y we cant be more than friends. (even tho shes the one who told me that).

i flirted n did a lot of dq.. ex"ah ur trouble! i shouldnt be talking to you!!" etc
"ur such a flirt! stop it!" etc

she really wanted me to tell her i wanted her but i wouldnt let my guard down because of what happened last time. she flirted with me alot but was still very difficult n wouldnt be straight forward. im not worried tho

so i found a party 2nite. n asked her to come n be my wing girl which kinda messed with her but she accepted. n i plan on doing a lot of push pull on her n dhv kino kino kino. i really think she will throw herself at me at the end of the night. she asked if she could sleep over too. which i didnt answer just cut the thread.

kinda just gonna wing it but ill update this if i have probs.

thanks guys

You're gonna use her as a pivot? Could be interesting. I mean she is obviously into you so you should somehow turn it around because otherwise you're just reinforcing the fact that you guys should just be friends.

Watch out, HB's just out of relationships are always messed up emotionally.

i know she was really confusing before but now not so bad. but that plan of mine failed.. the party was so big they wouldnt let anyone else in. went to a couple other places that were kinda interesting.. we had a great night together and shes acting a lot more normal now and texted me one night saying how she was sad cuz she thought she screwed up with me n missed her chance with me

i told her dont be sad.. lets have fun 2nite.. talk to me later. n we had fun. we didnt talk about it again but were just building up n shes flirting lot more. were both going really slow but its goin.

i dont think i should bring it up for a while.. im afraid to let my guard down but im still gaming her.

edit

so we never talked about things after that one night. kinda gamed her n push pull.. but she slept in my bed n she was cuddling with me next 2 nights but wouldnt go any further. i didnt try

still been flirty with her in person n in text. when we hung out last night she was very touchy n would play fight me n hit me n tickle me etc. lots of subtle iois. it seemed pretty good. n shes been textin me b4 she goes to sleep n when shed give me iois id reward her with them as well

so now shes bringin up that same stuff from b4 like "ugh find me a boyfriend!"
n i just play around with it like its a joke n dont talk about myself
n shes like "im just so impatient"

when i wouldnt reply to her texts shed often send a new one in ten minutes or less. n last night i randomly said
" i saw a chipmunk that reminded me of u 2day."
she was like "wtf fuck you rain!!! jk jeez u sure have been thinking of me a lot lately. ur seen me in animal n in ur dreams..." (told her the other night i had a dream of her going on vacation with me. craZy dream... n said "how dare you hijack my brain!! who do u think u are entering my dreams!?"

anyways i replied with "ha it looked just like you! ya... u have been on my mind a lot lately..... stay outta there!!!"

im not sure where to go with this now.. im still afraid to let my guard down n tell her id like to be with her.. but i dont wanna overkill this either. what do you guys think?