I don't know what happened to me! I need help!



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:13 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:31 am
Posts: 349
I need help.
I just got back to school like 3 weeks ago.
Today the 3rd week just ended actually.
Anyways, I can't talk to a girl! Even when she shows so much interest in me!
Girl from 1st semester (College)(The college is pretty small, so, basically everyone knows everyone, not formally, but at least if you see them somewhere you'd recognize them) ... anyways... she keeps looking at me. Today we were like watching a game, and I was with my friends and she was with hers, and I glanced at her, and she was looking this way. Yesterday she smiled at me, but I just turned my head to one side and broke eye contact...
And its not only with this girl, but with any girl that shows a sign of interest in me. There's another one that keeps looking at me and my friend, and talking to her friend, and looking at us etc...
It seems that the only way I can talk to them, is if they don't show any sign of interest.
One girl even took off her glasses when I was passing by (sun glasses) and practically broke her neck, looking at me, and what did I do? I just stared in front of me, looking at the corner of my eye how she smiled at me.
Whats wrong with me? I can't even say a "hello" ( I haven't tried ) .. I can't keep eye contact with them for them to notice I'm interested...
I guess I lack confidence? .. How hard can it be to smile and say "Hi" I do it all the time!
And its not like I need a "special opener" I'm good with words, and talking, I can pretty much say anything ... I just need to be able to say that first "hi" ..
But Im not used to saying "hi" to girls I like... I can do it to girls I don't like or to a guy, or a store clerk etc...
Just not to a girl I like.
And it really bothers me, because its killing me, that this girls want me to talk to them, and I can't!
What can I do?!
Is there any like confidence material... or maybe share some experiences??


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:53 pm 
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yeah your problem is not that you don't have the material, it is tht you freeze when you think you are getting somewhere.
It is all about your inner game, and if you ask me, pick up in general is all about your inner game.

Instead of explaining the long procedure I will give you two books to read.

First of all, read "introducing NLP" by Steve Andreas, it contains many confidence gaining exercises.

Then I can also recommend "Attraction is not a choice" by David DeAngelo, this book will teach you not to be intimidated by women.

Both these books contain great help for your problem, especially the first one.
If you don't feel like reading there is only one thing to do, start practicing, remember: All women are disposable, if you lose one there is another one on her way.
So if you blow it with the first girl, just improve your game for the next girl you meet and so on and so on until you feel confident and comfortable in your game!

_________________
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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 7:10 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:31 am
Posts: 349
This is my past catching up to me
I was always obese..
THen I became this hot guy that all of the sudden girls like... but I'm still like shy, and lacking confidence... some days my confidence is at the top ..
But all those years of being obese really are affecting me now, even though I'm good looking now ...


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 8:10 pm 
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Ok, now I see where you are coming from.
Well I still think the NLP book would help you.
I work as a personal trainer and I meet a lot of guys at the gym in your situation, my tip is, work out and flex in front of te mirror, as you improve your appearance even more your confidence will boost!

_________________
.............
Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:43 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 15, 2009 4:46 pm
Posts: 701
Just man up. You don't need a PUA to tell you "no pain no gain"!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 2:45 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:11 pm
Posts: 1887
Location: Netherlands
Quote:
I need help.
I just got back to school like 3 weeks ago.
Today the 3rd week just ended actually.
Anyways, I can't talk to a girl! Even when she shows so much interest in me!
Girl from 1st semester (College)(The college is pretty small, so, basically everyone knows everyone, not formally, but at least if you see them somewhere you'd recognize them) ... anyways... she keeps looking at me. Today we were like watching a game, and I was with my friends and she was with hers, and I glanced at her, and she was looking this way. Yesterday she smiled at me, but I just turned my head to one side and broke eye contact...
And its not only with this girl, but with any girl that shows a sign of interest in me. There's another one that keeps looking at me and my friend, and talking to her friend, and looking at us etc...
It seems that the only way I can talk to them, is if they don't show any sign of interest.
One girl even took off her glasses when I was passing by (sun glasses) and practically broke her neck, looking at me, and what did I do? I just stared in front of me, looking at the corner of my eye how she smiled at me.
Whats wrong with me? I can't even say a "hello" ( I haven't tried ) .. I can't keep eye contact with them for them to notice I'm interested...
I guess I lack confidence? .. How hard can it be to smile and say "Hi" I do it all the time!
And its not like I need a "special opener" I'm good with words, and talking, I can pretty much say anything ... I just need to be able to say that first "hi" ..
But Im not used to saying "hi" to girls I like... I can do it to girls I don't like or to a guy, or a store clerk etc...
Just not to a girl I like.
And it really bothers me, because its killing me, that this girls want me to talk to them, and I can't!
What can I do?!
Is there any like confidence material... or maybe share some experiences??
i will help you GDI ! don't worry !
Quote:
''I just got back to school like 3 weeks ago.
Today the 3rd week just ended actually.
Anyways, I can't talk to a girl! Even when she shows so much interest in me!''
well thats because your not used talking to girls .. not enough material or whatever, you need to be interesting .. you need to have confidence !

Quote:
... anyways... she keeps looking at me. Today we were like watching a game, and I was with my friends and she was with hers, and I glanced at her, and she was looking this way. Yesterday she smiled at me, but I just turned my head to one side and broke eye contact...
She keeps looking is a mssive IOI , laughing is a big IOI.
you breaking of eye contact is a DLV !
1. you look shy
2. subconcious programmed female mind is searching for a strong man - not one who breaks eye contact.
3. it's a possible disqualifier, you don't seem to be interested in her by breaking of the eye contact.
4. it's a game ... the glance game....when you look away the subconcious primal mind tells him/her that you are intimidated.

in short terms you felt uneasy and intimidated and possibly shy.

next time.

1. don't break eye contact .. only break off when she breaks off
2. smile ... by smiling you don't look shy but rather nice because you show emotion but don't overdo... glance to eachother for 4 seconds and smile the following 3 seconds, if it ends let it end with a smile.
3. when it's really getting into a glance game just make some gestures like flirt a bit by blinking with one eye. A glance game can be won by : making the other person feel uneasy JUST DOn't feel awkward about it.

just convey confidence and balls and your fine.
Quote:
It seems that the only way I can talk to them, is if they don't show any sign of interest.
this is your projection..... girls can be interested but don't have to show it ... in other terms you maybe got approached by interested girl but u never noticed .....
Quote:
One girl even took off her glasses when I was passing by (sun glasses) and practically broke her neck, looking at me, and what did I do? I just stared in front of me, looking at the corner of my eye how she smiled at me.
you rejected her ....
dude she showed balls .. more balls then you . Never allow this.
you shoulda have negged her by saying : yeah i know it's to dark to see and open by using the glasses as material.
Quote:
Whats wrong with me? I can't even say a "hello" ( I haven't tried ) .. I can't keep eye contact with them for them to notice I'm interested...
I guess I lack confidence? .. How hard can it be to smile and say "Hi" I do it all the time!


looks like a social disorder .... i mean you don't lose anything by saying hi ...... maybe you should go to stores and talk to personel- cassier - bartenders etc you can practice on hired guns.
what i recommend is not verbally saying hi but non-verbally.. greet with a blink or by tilting your head, when a girl's not interested you won't lose self esteem when she doesn't greet you back.
Also if you make a non-verbal greet and a girl greets back then you know she's opne for more interest.
Quote:
And its not like I need a "special opener" I'm good with words, and talking, I can pretty much say anything ... I just need to be able to say that first "hi" ..
But Im not used to saying "hi" to girls I like... I can do it to girls I don't like or to a guy, or a store clerk etc...
well get used to it... just go to a store and say '' hi nice shoes '' and walk away . just make little comments just to get ADJUSTED and FAMILIAR with opening.
Your goal is opening someone and greet.... go to a store or walk on the street and do this.. everytime you greet someone you have achieved your goal.
when going to a bar just warm up by talking to the bartender first, warming up is very important in your case - when your on school just talk to a teacher to warm up. Just socialy calibrate verbally and topic wise.

you 'don't need a special opener ... some girls just start conversation with you when you say hi. AND DON'T GAME A GIRL because the chance you messup by the lack of confidence is big ! just practice and hone your skill - read some books like i mentioned in other threads Get specialized in opening and comfort zone - Kino and that kind of shit is totally unimportant right now. What is important is your verbal skills and calibration alertness.
Quote:
And it really bothers me, because its killing me, that this girls want me to talk to them, and I can't!
What can I do?!
Is there any like confidence material... or maybe share some experiences??[/
bothers you .... WTf are you talking about man you just get imtimidated by these interested girls wtf your a man not a girl.
YOU CAN talk to them you need to be talkative and sharp and even more important ''relaxed''

i once was like you .... until i got approached by a girl that was kino escalating me .... i was like ok wtf im scared but i just go for it. I had a good conversation and i was always a shy kid - but i was amazed how verbally skilled i was once i committed and how easy it was.

YOU GET STUCK IN THE PAST because you worry about your future... you worry about approaching or what to do.
well kid let me tell you this the future is formed by your action in the present , don't worry how a girl will react or if it sucks or not. by hanging in the past and future you are missing the chances that are presenting NOW in the present.

Don't hang in the past for too long or you will miss the chances that come along.
Don't be scared of what you cannot see
Your only fear is possibility
Never wonder what the hell went wrong
Your second chance may never come along

go to the gym , like the other guy mensioned maybe get a trainer and motivational trainer. Read some books i mentioned in the previous post and especially read some PUA books. if you are scared by practicing on girls of your age then talk to older woman... woman that are 40 or 50 year's old - they are always nice en never reject you in a bitchy way.
you need confidence .. i think that's priority number 1.

Dude it's like bungee jumping ... you can be an expert and have unlimited amount of skill but if you don't jump you never get there !
knowledge isn't power .... power is knowledge applied.
Just jump and enjoy the ride !


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:26 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2009 12:14 am
Posts: 88
Location: Chicago
I used to be indimidated by really attractice women, but you realize after some time they're all the same, and there are numerous amounts of them. But honestly, all you have to do is work on some better openers and work out some negs. Let's face it. Beautiful women and insecure people like everyone else. Don't forget that.


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