| You know, I went through a process of "me against the whole god damn world"
And in that process, I didnt care, i honestly didnt give a shit what anyone thinks, acts or reacts to me.
I was fed up with living in my fear, my anxiety, withing the social rules etc.
I said enough.
And I started to do the craziest shit ever. I got a buddy of mine, we took a camera and filmed ourselves fighting in public. Thats just one example of what I did. It was much like jackass, infact, it was just like that.
And it was a relief. I got a tone of experience and most importantly, I proved to myself that I dont need approval of others. I won for me.
But after awhile of being the rebel, I got bored of rebelionship. I decided to take the next step.
After I proved to myself, that I can handle rejection infront of a large number of poeople and be ok with it... i decided to move on.
The next step was, determening who I want to be. Specificaly, how do I want to look like. What do I want to project and how do I want to talk to people.
But as I was doing this, I realized that I was putting myself in the same box as I was before. Same shit.
So I played with this for a while. Untill one day, I had it.
I couldnt take it anymore. The thoughts felt like prison, so I GAVE UP.
I said, OK, I AM NOT FIGHTING AGAINST MYSELF ANYMORE. I ACCEPT MYSELF COMPLETELY.
Strangly, this weird feeling came up for me. As if I was grieving for sombody. I went down and followed my feeling. I wanted to know where will it get me.
I locked myself into a dark room, so dark that I couldnt even see my own hand. I mean dark.
After a couple of hours of just being in that feeling, I came out. The realization I had was... I am A MAN.
And I should be a man. period.
All the answers that I was looking for were in me. I suddenly knew HOW to talk to women. I felt the conversation. The conversation came from within me, from my feeling as a man.
I wasnt in my head anymore. I knew. I felt it.
I cant picture myself using any of the rutines anymore, just because, being a real man is a lot more fun.
I enjoy my manhood. When I take a walk, and the wind is blowing into my face and my clothes are wawing in the wind, I just feel such a wawe of enjoyment of being a man.
I enjoy being a man.
All the conversations that I have now are from within. Not out of my head anymore. The realtionships with people come from me. Not from my head.
When I see a woman that I am attracted to, I feel manly. I dont go into.. o what should I say stuff. I just feel my manhood, and ride that wawe. When I say hi and she looks at me, there is no chance for rejection. She just knows.
Ive been in a game for a while now. But I feel like just started. Because from this point of view that I am now, everything is different.
Insted of fear.. I have courage.
Instead of thought.. I feel.
Instead of anxiety.. I have manhood.
Instead of fighting against... I accept.
Instead of hate.. I have respect.
A MAN. _________________ Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
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