So, Like... Apparently from what I hear from girls is that I'm a pretty good looking dude.. Like I say that in the humblest way possible.. But I've always had low self esteem/confidence, But My Game is at least decent to high average...

& Now I'm looking to start making moves... But Like, I still got like a mental block preventing me from being social enough to get out there and do my thing...

see, When I'm myself, I'm a funny dude, I joke around alot, people like being around me, But when the social anxiety thing comes I feel real paralyzed... Its mostly around new people, or situations where the attention is gonna be on me... Which kills any chance I have of opening anything, Even tho, I know if I tried, I could close them no problem...

This aint just a problem with girls though, because of it, I got a below average social life, And it sucks big time... Everyone likes me, But Nobody gets too close cuz I give off a certain vibe that makes people think I'm not interested in talking to them, And It dont help that I dont go to parties or nothing when people go, So nobody really invites me to anything.

I know I don't come off as weird or creepy or low value in any kinda way, I been told I come off as mean or preoccupied like I don't wanna be bothered. which aint really the case, but I cant help but to give off that vibe... I've also been told that The mean thing works for me, and it makes girls more interested in me cuz I look mysterious or something, But I just need to learn how to make it work, and how to make the move right...

I Know I could do good if I got over this though, Every time I go out with a female friend their always pointing out girls that were checking me out, or getting mad cuz females are looking at them dirty lol... That parts kinda funny actually, but Anyways.. Anyone have experience with this that can help me out?

O yes, I feel you brotha..

No really, I am exactly what you described above. I have a mean look, people say to me that I give this vibe like Im not interested in talking with them or that Im preocupide. It also works for me because I come across as mysterious interesting guy.

But thats not so good for my social life is it..

You dont mention your age, but I would guess you are arround 20?


So, here is your problem. You are a natural alpha leader. I suspect you are inteligent, and you are in your head most of the time. This is why you are anxious when you first meet sombody, but as you get to know them, your personality shines through.
But you need to develop yourself as a person. A great way is to talk to as many people as you can. Watch president obama and try to do that. Find a role model and copy what he does. Find one you like. A good example is obama. Another can be a public person or, you can find a friend that is very outgoing.

I think that finding a friend that is very outgoing can help you a lot. This is exactly what I did. I found a friend, that couldnt be more outgoing. I never met a person as crazy as him. He talks to everyone. And has respect, which I think you also want.

But there is somthing much deeper that you are not adressing. Your emotional inteligence. I dont think that you are in touch with your emotions as much, and that tends to make you akward in social situations.

So what you need to do is to get in touch with your emotions.

I can give you a technique, and I will give you a technique. But what I am encouraging you is, work on your INNER GAME.

TECHNIQUE:

Simple, yet very effective technique. Go to places where people are paid to talk to you. Like clothing shop. When youre there, strike a conversation like about the weather. Just a couple of words. Look arround and leave. Go to another clothing shop, and do the same. Say, "Hey whats up, you having fun standing and checking out guys all day "

I realize, that you may experience some problems with this. So I am offering my help, as I can really relate to you. So send me an email, and we can continue.

Meanwhile, try this excercise. And report your experience.

_________________
Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

You can try it here Here: New AA Cure

Double Post, Delete this Mods.

lmaooo... Damn your good...

I just turned 19 today... every thing was right on..

I read this before Work, And tried A Little Bit.. I'm still Taking baby steps, But Progress is progress...

I spoke to 2 chicks at work today, and I'm usually quiet and dont say anything unless I need to, or someone talks to me...

the first I asked where something was cuz it wasent where it normally was... And I was surprised, Cuz I had been checking this girl out for some time and she never really seemed to be interested, but when I spoke to her she was all smiles like she was happy I spoke to her. She's a nice girl, so that could just be her personality, but its good none the less... & the other time I said "later" To this manager when she left, it dont sound like much, but considering I never say Anything It might be Lol.. She was all smiles Too...

seems like a good sign to me...?

But after work I hit up steak and shake by myself, Cuz I was hungry as a bitch more less... And I saw this Girl I recognized but didnt know from around school when I used to go, & she was with this hot chick, And The hot chick kept looking at me.. But I ended up sitting across from them... with a row inbetween us, So there was no real.. Indirect, or smooth way to make my way over there.. So I kinda wimped out Lol.. but she looked at me a good 3 or 4 times that night... And I know they noticed me when I walked in... I would have just been Direct, it might have worked, but it just feels cheesy and out of character for me... I'm more the type to Get her to like me, then back up a little so she has room to chase me, It feels mad uncomfortable doing it the other way around, but its like.. thats the only way to do it when you dont know who your going after... I guess cuz of social rules or w/e.

iono.. Advice for the last situation would help..

I appreciate this man..

Ok, so what I hear is this:
FEELS out of character to me..

You know, as I can tell you are an introverted person. I am an introverted person as well. And for us introverted guys, it is hard to SPEAK to somebody we dont know.

As I can read from your post, you really WANT to get this part of your life handled.

No problem. Its easy. All you got to do, is STEP OUTSIDE OF YOUR CHARACTER or your COMFORT ZONE for a minute, and you are on your way.

You see, us guys, we are so attached to our identity of who we think we are, that we make up how we should act, talk, behave, walk, dress, look and even how we should sit when we eat our burger.

Wrong.

When you are attached to your "way" of doing things, you will lock yourself in the box.
And guess what, if you keep behaving the same way as before, you are going to get the same things as you got before.

Sounds simple ha ?

If you want to really get this part of your life handled, you NEED to STEP OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.

There is no other way.

When you step outside of your comfort zone, you always win. After you do it, you get this sense of "Im proud of myself".

If you dont step outside of your comfort zone, you are going to stay in your box. And guess what, that box is a very dry dry place..

If you are looking for an advice for every situation, than youre not asking the right question. The answers that you need are IN YOU, all you need to do is to step outuside of your comfy place, and do the things that make you uncomfortable.

Take baby steps, start talking to people more. Strike a conversation while you are waiting in line at a coffe shop or whatever. Do the things that DONT FEEL LIKE YOU.

When you do that, this is when you are going to evolve and you will start becoming a person. A peoples person.

Let me draw a graph for you.

INTROVERTED <---------------------> EXTRAVERTED

You are introverted. You need to do the things, that an extraverted person would do. Even if that doesnt feel like you.

That is why I recommend find a friend, who is very extraverted.
You will start to do the things that he does. You will start to behave like him, you will see how to talk to people.

And finally, Im going to give you an insider secret. After you do all that, after you step outside of your comfort zone so many time, after you get rejected in the ugliest way possible, you will come back to being the same mysterious, serious guy BUT you will have the skills to ACT in the situation, when you want to. In other words, you will not be affraid of talking to people.


So your exercise is this:

Think of three things that make you uncomfortable. Like talking to that hot chick on the street, or talking to that chick across the table.

Got them?

Now, make an exact plan of how you are going to approach. Maybe just go and say.. hey, I just thought you were really beautiful. Have a nice day.. with total composure

After you have the plan, go out and do the exact thing that you wrote down.

I am not kidding, you will make HUGE improvements as a person.

Do this, step outside of your comfy comfy zone, it is time to be a MAN.

When youre done, report your experience. If you have any questions, ask.

Talk to you then.

_________________
Test out my new Approach Anxiety technique, that eliminates your AA
in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

You can try it here Here: New AA Cure

BOYYYYYY..! I shoulda Read this before work...

Mann..

Today, This chick came in That I think quit or something... And She was outtta her work cloths... And she looked amaaaaazzinggg.. like woowww... & I was dyinggg to talk to her... (cool face on tho) But I just wasent bold enough to make the move infront of people directly... So I'm trying to wait for her to not be around people.. but shes outgoing so the only time she is alone is when she's leaving... Mann.. I even got the eye contact and the direct smile.. like.. I gave her like.. An actual like.. "Yeah I'm looking At you" Kinda Look, And she Smiled at me.. Fuckkkk I coulda Bagged her Lmao...

I'm bout to find her on myspace lmao.. Thats against the rules, & Kinda lame, I know.. But shitttt... this aint about progress lmao.. This chick looks too good to let slide...

Anyways... Later today I went to my boys house with a female friend to watch a movie and Kinda got thrown to the lions... His Mom Is a FREAK lmao... And All the older People was Sitting having a convo about sex and I got thrown into it.. I handled it pretty well tho, I kept my composure... I even Made a joke or two that got a laugh.. Its alot easier when Everythings open... Like... they was putting themselves out there Talking about vibrators, and needing it and all kinds of shit.. & At first I was like Ohhh god.. Then I kinda just mellowed out and fit in to the convo pretty well, I was still the quiet one... But I was putting input into it... & Everything... This dude was teasing this girl saying for me to watch out cuz she's a cougar lmao.. & She was the loudest one... so I was a lil shy to talk to her.. I still did, I just avoided it a little... Just cuz she was like fearless lmao.. she was cursing, and yelling, and putting personal shit out like nothing & everyone was laughing... she was crazy...

So, You win some you lose some... End of the night, My female friend molested me in her car any way... Playing that "Oh, You cant turn me on" "oh yea, I can" Reverse psychology b/s Lol...