when I neg I end up in two scenarios, either my neg will be too playful and she'll think that I'm flirting and walks away because she isn't interested, or my neg is too strong and she walks away pissed and I'm left with the obstacles.

I had an interesting time with a three set last night, the target being a hb7, while the obstacles were both hb6. What happened was that though I diqualified myself by negging the target, for some reason the obstacle became attracted to me. I wasn't sure where to go from there, so I hit the target with another neg except this time it alienated her and an AFC just easily picked her up, leaving me with the obstacles. I wasn't interested, so I excused myself to grab another drink

You have to be the center of attention give the neg in a really palyful way like :

Wow is your hair real ?

It looks like is from a barbir doll....

And continue talking to the obstacles or tell a funny story....

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