I may have come off too aggressively, thoughts?



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:20 pm
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I'm at a nightclub which has stage dancers accompanying the live music, and one of the dancers who is not on stage SPAM is walking nearby. I flash a big smile and she smiles back, and then comes over, brushes her hand along my shoulder, says "Hi there," and keeps walking. A couple minutes later I go up to her on the dance floor, put my hand on her back, and say "let's dance," and I take her hand and we start to dance. Meanwhile we exchange a few words while dancing, she asks who I came with and I point to my group of both girls and guys. She asks if any of the girls I came with will be mad that I am with her and I say, "eh, maybe, who cares." After some more dancing and a bit of talking I try to kiss her, mainly just to keep the dynamic even if I think there's a good chance of rejection. She backs off quickly, but with a big grin.

I bring her back to my table and we chat for a bit. She tells me about herself, and asks what I do, where I live, and where I'm from. Because the club is loud and I'm not sure about her english abilities (I'm in a foreign country) I try not to use too many jokes and just tell her specifically where I live/am from/what I do. She asks for my #, we exchange, and as I leave she sends me a text ":)" to which I don't reply.

The next day, I just send her a text saying "I want you." She replies, "Afternoon, how was your day?" I reply with "Come to my bed :)" Hours later, she replies "I'm sorry i'm not the girl u think I am. I maybe work in a disco bar but i'm not a ho. Hope u understand. I can be a good friend to u if u want. Be safe handsome. :)"

I think I have to stop acting like a pig who only thinks about sex for a second, but without apologizing for my actions, so I send "Hey I can come across a little aggressively when I'm being playful haha. We should talk more and get together for drinks or a snack and can get to know each other. I'll tone myself down I promise," to which I receive a "Ok that would be fine."

I'm not sure what to think or how to move forward, or even which of my texts were flawed and what the flaws were. The reason I didn't call is because girls in this country often can't pick up since they work such long hours and if they do pick up the language barrier can make it difficult to communicate ideas. She seemed pretty excited when I met her, but I think I scared her a bit w/my texts. Advice?


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 1:52 am 
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Website: http://www.facebook.com/Charlie.Neptune
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Your approach was great. It's good you tried to kiss her quickly. She understood your intentions and she liked them. As you said, she pulled away but kept playing. That will continue until you get her in bed. You come on, she pulls back, and you push-pull a bit more each time. Don't be so anxious for the quick score. Be funny, tease them, and get them to come hang out on a day 2 without feeling pressure towards anything. The goal is to make them appear.

She was open to hanging out again. You def took a lot of steps back, but it's ok. Be friendly and a bit flirty. I would say don't try and take her to bed. Act interested but show her respect. She sounds like she gets objectified a lot at the disco. Invite her somewhere like a museum where you can talk and enjoy sometime together. Time o show her you are more than a penis with a brain.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:05 pm 
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I agree youre game was good up until that 1st text message!

way way way waaaay too forward mate (unless youre looking for a slut of course). The 'come to my bed' would not work on a quality girl, her reply was spot on, you were implying that she is a ho indeed. she seems to like you, so as charlie says...put some more time in before attempting the f-close. Also, alot of guys i know go for this 'forward' strategy, they tell the girl straight out they wana fuck, they either get slapped, or never hear from them again...it will work with some girls though...but theyre probably not the kind you want to lay.

Give her a reason to want to sleep with you. DHV, build an emotional connection and youre on the money.


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