Visionxxx, props for the dhv story. I'd stick with the short version in the field in the A2 phase (after you hooked her with your attitude, bodylanguage, social proof, sex appeal, etc..

) I should keep the long story for a day two, when you're alone with her bbq'ing at your backyard. Tell her the 20min version while you are busy marinating the meat or whatever.
I think some points I learned (tnx to Wilder) will help you:
- Write a short version out and optimalize it for your field game. Just erase everything the listener doesn't care about or need to know and limit the boring, but neccesary details as much as possible.
- Make sure you have a good lead-in for the story. (you probably already have)
- Trigger the listeners by giving them an initial hook. It means start your story off with something interesting. Your story is about how you got a criminal record by helping out your friends? Put that in front.. This way people care less about the boring but neccesary details later and will be really curious how it happened.
- Make sure you leave some unanswered questions in your story.
- Allude to the fact that you're adventurous, wealthy, like danger, have a lot of cute ex-girlfriends, good friends, you're a masterful lover, have a humungous cock, whatever you want.. Just don't tell it directly, make them ask you about it.
- keep that punch line in the end; sum that story up in a powerful way to let them know the story is over: "that day changed my life completely and if i had the chance, i'd do it all over again blabla"..
The way you tell your story can trigger a lot of emotions or attraction. Play with the tonality. You can play around with pausing in the middle of the sentence and start again to suck them in even more. Talk slow, fast, high, low.. Just field test the **** out of it and calibrate it to a perfect story for different situations. I think you have a big advantage that the story is natural so, you won't have any problems calibrating it.