I've been away from the forum for a little while just so I could get my mind off things. I think my last post/thread here was somewhat of a rant about how I wasn't getting a whole lot of attention from girls. Luckily, that's changed a bit now, and I'm ready to go. However, there is one situation where I really don't know what to do next:

For the past three weeks, my summer internship took me a few hours out of the way to work on our big event that the company runs. During this time, I met and worked with a great girl who was in my department (HB9). We have a lot of things in common, we have similar personalities, we can make each other laugh and we're able to C+F each other nonstop without either of us getting mad (I think...at least I never got mad, I was entertained).

The other interns in our department said we're "perfect for each other." One or two of my bosses told me they could tell "something was there," although that may be more of me showing that I was into her - I never would admit it, but they probably saw me talking to her. They also said we should be a TV show(?). They also insisted her and I keep in touch. Of course, there was that "work problem."

If I were back at school or even at home, I would have made a move. There wouldn't be much to lose and I'd have no restrictions. However, when I'm at work, I am VERY hesitant towards making a move. I really would have wanted to do something, but if it didn't work, I'd be in a rough situation. I worked with her for 12 hours a day, seven days a week during this time. More importantly, I don't want my job status being put in jeopardy because of something like this. Some of my friends back home are bashing me on how I didn't make a move when I had the chance, but I felt trying to date or do things at work would be a bit risky. I think she felt similarly in terms of not dating or anything like that at work, but there is a chance that the fact I didn't make a move could have landed me in the friend zone. I'm really not good with the one-night-stand stuff either - I realize that could have been a solution I could have pursued here, but I'm not used to that concept unless we both had just met at a party.

The last couple days were a little more difficult. The last night we were there, all the interns in our department went out to the local bar. This girl basically ignored me and was all over my co-workers, who she didn't really know as well going into the night. She didn't "get with" anyone (there was just some kino from her), I know that, but them getting all the attention and me being out in the cold made me a little peeved. Some buddies of mine think it was a test; I disagree because it was the last night we would be there. I thought it was disrespectful, and I don't handle disrespect all that well. The next morning, I said as few words to her as I could while also being nice or civil (she knew something was up, but I said things were fine). During the afternoon, I cooled off and things began to progress back to normal.

My question is, should I keep in touch with her or not?
The reasons for: We really did connect well - moreso than I have with a girl in a long while, I feel something was there, and she's fun to be around. Also, there's a chance I could see her if we're back home to help out with things at the internship.
The reasons against: Our schools are 5 hours away and our houses are 2 hours away (my house is also 3 hours from her school), that's pretty far. I'm actually not sure if I'd see her at the internship things during the fall semester (depends if we're both home at the same time), she could just be seeking the attention based on that last night, and maybe I really did miss my chance and will forever be in the dreaded friend zone.

Sure. What's the worst that can happen? You end up in the LJBF zone and have a cute HB friend to visit if you are out of town. I'll let you imagine the best case scenario since result may vary depending on the expectations of the reader.... reader discretion is advised.

You really have nothing to lose by staying in contact with her, but your also in school with plenty of other options. Keep in touch, but don't stop looking for another lady.

No kino is usually an IOD right? I personally feel that if she was all over the other dudes, I would've been spitting firey game at some of the other girls in the joint and getting them to dance (unless you were in Alaska and there were no other women... in which case... I feel sorry for you. ).

Perhaps you did wait too long, but perhaps not. Did you guys hang out after work? Why didn't you pull some moves away from your colleagues and just not let anyone know? (I clearly don't fully understand your situation!) I've heard that the office is actually an ideal place to meet compatible women, but plenty of people tell horror stories about situations like that going wrong. I'm starting to question that though, because all of the girls that I've broken up with in a respectful way have remained friends.

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Crowd to Crowd

Thanks for the quick replies. The question now...what would my goal of this e-mail be? I find myself conflicted between trying to attract her and telling her how I really don't understand her sometimes, how she'll be awesome during the day and then blow me off at night, I don't appreciate the games. I know that's not worded perfectly, but you get the point.

Crowd - The scary thing was, on this night, there weren't many other attractive girls at this bar. Basically, guys she really doesn't talk to much and guys I could safely assume she isn't attracted to...lots of kino. It really was like she was showing off.

As for the work thing, I'm not scared of any abuse I would personally take, but I am scared about how it could affect my job. If something goes bad and it leaks into the workplace, it really doesn't look good on me (and this is a place I'd consider working for next year). Thus, I was hesitant about trying to date in the workplace.

After work, we'd all find each other somehow. The girl of interest here had a couple girl friends she liked hanging out with too, so they would always be together. I did a good job of getting to know her friends a little bit.

Man, if you can hold out on the emotional rapture that she might deserve, you will have taken the high road and saved yourself some drama. But... I'm not very good at doing that myself, so I understand where you're coming from! I just hate being trapped between the feeling of not being like a man because I didn't say something, and then feeling like a bitch because I didn't keep my mouth shut... lol, its a fine line I suppose. Do what you will man, but I'd try to keep her a possibility opposed to a definite no.

It would be really great if you could work it to where she is your weekend sleep over buddy!

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Crowd to Crowd

Well I took the high road on EVERYTHING during work, even when I really wanted to just lash out at people. It paid off though, as I got a job offer to return next year after school, it's something I am definitely looking into.

In this case, I figure you're right. It doesn't pay to tee off on someone I may not see again, since it won't accomplish a whole lot. I won't be super friendly either, but I can be friendly enough. As you said, a 50% chance beats a 0% chance. A sleep over buddy would be GREAT...I'd have to work some real magic on that one though lol.

Anyways, what should I even include? I can SUGGEST that I felt a connection. I could maybe hint at the work obstacle? I'm really not sure what angle to take. The "advancing the relationship" angles I can take are: 1.) Seeing if she'll be around for some of the activities our companies do during the year (easier, but not easy), 2.) I may visit a friend at his college sometime during the school year, her school isn't far from there (a little tougher).

Definitely suggest connection, hint at the work obstacle, and mention both directions. If you don't already have her number, you should get it. And if you do already have her number, you could always call her instead of email!

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Crowd to Crowd

That sounds good...the only thing different I may try to do is not come on quite as strongly. I could try to get a correspondence going first (while maybe subtly hinting at a thing or two) and go from there. Once I have her hooked, then I can just reel her in (in terms of attention).

Always keep in touch, but go and see other people, your expecting far too much from her. Shes a woman after all, she likes to mingle and flirt, thats what gives her validation. Maybe you didnt close the deal properly. I think you should move on, but keep a door open if she wants to come back at a later date.

Don't burn bridges you don't have to.

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Back, starting over as of 2012.