There is this bar that is literally 5 minutes away from my house. I can walk there it is so close. The problem is, I don't have the guts to walk in there. Tonight, for example, there is a lot of people in there. I can tell just by all the cars that are there, and some people outside. I'm always telling myself that I don't care what people think of me, or that I shouldn't care what people think of me, but yet I'm afraid to walk into a bar that might have 10-12 people, because:

A. I would be going in there alone.
B. I wouldn't know what to say.
C. If I say something stupid, it's not like its a huge venue where I can just move on to something else. If I say something stupid, I would feel awkward because there isn't that many people there. It's a small bar, I would guess that it has about 10-15 people.

Where as in a club, when you have over 50 people, you can just move on without feeling embarased because not everyone knows each other. But in a smaller setting, you can feel uncomfortable because those people can clearly see you.

I'm afraid of going in the bar because I don't know what to say, and if I say something stupid, they will give me that creeped-out look, and it hurts. It's like a rejection.

How am I ever going to meet anybody if I'm afraid to approach because I don't know what to say?

I don't have any stories. Any. And a lot of the openers and routines I see on the Internet, in my opinion, are just silly and aren't very good.

It's kind of hard to find things to talk about when you live a sheltered life. You go to work, and you go home. And then, you start all over again. I can clearly spark a conversation with my co-workers, and sometimes my customers, but when it comes to meeting new people on the outside, I just can't do it.

There needs to be more books and information on the very basics of socializing.

Would you guys go into a small bar like this by yourself? What would you say?

Just go for it. I live and work in a small town. There is a small bar down the road from where i work, but I have never been in there. Now that you mention your problem, i may just start going to this bar...cuase i have no friggn clue where to go. non-moving sets are easier than moving sets

How'd you get all that rep with just 46 posts? Hax!??!?!

Well if you're lonely, find a wingman/wingwoman and have them wing it up.

Speaking of wings, I like eating hot spicy wings with Medium sauce on it then top it off by blazin' sauce with blue cheese and celery. Then I get a chocolate cake for 5 bucks it's so good.

Try it some time

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I would not recommend a place where you feel uncomfortable.

Typically, I don't bother with small bars anyways because the girl to guy ratio in there is not good.

So don't bother.

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First of all...BadolzoN this isn't a forum for you to work on your stand up routines. I realize that you think this site is a joke from reading your numerous comments but this site is a venue for men who are struggling. We all have things in our lives we need to improve upon and areas where we could better ourselves. This is a place for us to learn from mistakes both ours and the mistakes of others. I'm on a forum for the CPA exam as well and there are plenty of people who write obnoxious things over and over again in the hope that someone verbally lashes back at them but that is not a constructive use of time. If you don't take this site seriously please consider pursuing alternative interests.

Now back to the question. Going at it alone is not easy. I feel ya man. While I do get a rush from entering a bar or club on my own I do it rarely because that rush can turn pretty sour pretty quickly if you don't light up the room upon entry. My first piece of advise would be to try to find a wing. You mentioned that you talk to people at work. Ask someone from work if they would like to get a drink or two after work to unwind at the end of the week. Guy or girl...doesn't matter. If you hit up a bar after work with a buddy it will be a good way for you to become comfortable in the bar scene and that could give you more confidence when entering the bar by yourself. If you go with a girl from work that will be a great change of venue opportunity to take things outside work. Maybe even organize a happy hour after work or something like that so you will have a whole group of people you feel comfortable around because I do agree with one of the previous posts...you have to feel comfortable in your own skin for others to feel comfortable around you. You need to find that level of comfort and I think the way that you will get there is by using a little crutch at first.

So remember the first step is always the toughest...once you build momentum you will gradually be able to feel more comfortable in situations that seem uncomfortable now. Go out to have fun and just socialize with people that you already not and that will transition into the intended consequences that you hope to achieve. It won't be easy but nothing good comes easy......Best of luck to you brother

Woah, don't get defensive with me.

I've helped plenty of people and if you made more than 50 posts in 2 years you'd realize this.

I like to joke around as well, what's the problem?

I know many things, I don't view this forum as a joke.

But no use in trying to argue, good day to you.

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