So, I have had a thing for this girl that I was pretty good friends with. We grew apart and now we see each other every in a while. I always wanted to ask her out, but never did.

There were always things getting in the way (excuses I made, some good some bad). Either I had a girlfriend, was away, she had b/f or something.

Anyways, were both single now and I'll see her this weekend. The only problem is that in two weeks she leaving again. She is moving out of the country for 6 months for work.

So is it worth it to ask her out and have a casual two weeks together and than see what happens when she gets back? Or is that just causing problems and I should just see where were both at when she gets back?

I know that it wouldn'nt be serious and I don't want it to be because she is leaving.

And don't give me the "one-itis" stuff or "dude just go out and h/u with other girls" Not the advise im looking for.

Oh so you are going away. Well, you are a cool girl, I am gonna miss you, not gonna cry of couse because I am too macho to do that kind of things. You know me, I eat girls like you for breakfast... No seriously, youre going away, that sucks, I wanna go away too. Im bored and think that Im gonna have a drink later on this week, care to join. It will be like a private going away party. You will buy the first drink and when Im drunk I will buy the rest. It really is your fault, you are going off to some exotic place to live the good life, I am so jealous...


That is the kind of speech I would do...

So, I shouldn't go for the straight ask out?

Play around with her a little bit about how awesome it is that she is going away. And than ask her out for drinks "because im going anyways" and she can tag along.

Is that what you are saying?

Ezo had a great answer. But i have an alternative.

She leaves in two weeks. Lets say you DO manage to hit it off with her (which is what you want isnt it? Ofcourse.).

Hmmmm... Going away for SIX FRIGGIN MONTHS. I assume you have feelings for her. Those feeling would grow even stronger if things went as planned.

And then.

Youd have to go through the pain of a long distant relationship. Which never work out. Trust me. They dont.

And youd miss her. And youd miss her. And youd miss her some more. Then her interest in you would slowly vanish, like the light from a glowing amber.

And you would miss her some more. And then youd start thinking about all the potential guys shes messing around with.

Would it be worth it?

So here is my alternative:

Spend time with her while she is still here, i mean you are friends arent you? No harm in that. Build attraction. Comfort. Tease her. Make a connection before she leaves. Make her look forward to coming back in 6 months. Even though the interest will slowly fade, she will still remember you as someone worthy.

While she is away. Suck as much info as you can about this stuff (you know what stuff). Practice. Get good. Get wanted by girls.

When she comes home. Youll be that guy you were when she left. Not a different person than you are now, but a better one.



If you dont like this, dismiss everything i said. I know the horrible feeling of having to wait a long time for a girl, just trying to give you an alternative

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What exactly do you mean by "asking her out"?

Are you going to ask her to marry you? Are you going to ask her to go "steady"? Are you going to ask her, "Erh . . . can be boyfriends and girlfriends?" Are you going to ask her,"Really, I want to go out with you like boyfriends and girlfriends . . .really!"??

I don't even understand your contemplation. If you want to spend time with her, you just think of something fun to do and you invite her. If you want to play with your video games instead, you just do that. What's the deal with all this mushy fantasy land scenario games in your head? You are straddling the normal/weirdo boundary here. Chicks don't dig guys who sit home all day stuck in his own fantasy land.

Either spend time with or you don't. But don't sit there getting all jittery about fantasy scenarios that have really nothing to do with your life. . .

Thanks Overture. Thats exactly what I am worried about. If we go out and hit it off than I'm gonna be missing her the entire time. I think i'll just keep it casual and ask her to hang out a few times. Nothing big.

As for Kasabi, why are you being a d-bag? Never once did I describe a fantasy of us getting married or "going steady" Im not some love struck 14 year old boy, playing video games with my thimb up my ass. You have no idea who I am or what my situation is. I asked a simple question if I should go for it with a girl who is leaving the country for 6 months. Sorry, I wanted another opinion.

And you don't understand my contemplation? You are using that word incorrectly. In the context that you are trying to use that word, you should have said "I do not understand what you are contemplating." We could get into discussion of your grammer and complete lack of proof reading, and I understand that this is the internet and people do not like to proof read, but you forgot entire words in some of your sentences.

To clear up your misunderstanding; my dilema is this- Should I go out with a girl who is going away in two weeks for 6 months and have a good time with her and risk becoming attached to her? Is that simple enough for you to understand?

And to clarify things even further what I mean by "go out" is to go out on a date. Whether thats diner, a movie, drinks or just going to the mall to pick out a gift for my little nephew's christening. Never once did I mention asking her to be my g/f. And if you were paying attention to what I wrote than you would have noticed that I mentioned keeping the relationship casual more than once.

This is why I have a problem with message boards, you always get some tool who thinks he is better than god and puts everyone down. Isn't this supposed to be a possitive message board where guys help others become better people and find success with attracting girls? So far im dissapointed,

On a final note, I was just looking for a little advice. If you are going to be a negative d-bag than do not respond. And of your going to try and mess with me, next time learn how to form coherent sentences because im smarter than you and will rip you apart.

Thrifty . . .

You don't understand my post nor do you understand the context in which I phrased your personal buzz word. You are obviously dealing with more than one issue but you only wish to discuss your fantasy issue that doesn't exist. If you think my reply was an insult, I am sorry. That was not my intention at all.

Good luck with your "dating" or "non-dating".

So . . . if you're not a love struck 14 year old, are you then a 15 year old pua? (This is actually an insult for reacting like a 15 year old little girl suffering from menstrual cramps) Man, I'd hate to see how you react when you lose a round on your xbox. Does your future "girlfriend" know about your short fuse?

If she's leaving for a while, then tell her straight up.

What do you have to lose?

It's a race against time.

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Dont do that. It shows needyness and you will probably lose her as a friend. Duh...? Everything. Its not. She will be back.

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Lets see how many negative points i can get! Come on, its easy, just create a new account and spam the forums. Use your reputation points to give me a bad reputation!

It's more a display of immaturity. In order to be needy, you'd need some repetition. You call the girl up 5 times after she laughs at you . . . that would be needy. Either way, I don't understand why MEN feel they need to verbally identify what it is that they are doing.

Taking a girl out, having dinner, sharing dessert, then having a romp with her IS NOT a route to losing friendship no matter when she is leaving or when she is coming back. This fear is the staple of la-la land Walt Disney made for TV movie cheese.

The reality: She is leaving the country for 6 months. She will be fucking no less than 6 different guys while she's there. It doesn't matter what the OP does or doesn't do at this point. He might as well as get a piece while she's here and do what he can to improve himself for when she gets back. She'll most likely have higher standards when she returns.

Also . . . I know the OP is sensitive so I'll try to word this as carefully as possible. I can only imagine 2 categories of guys who would plot out what might or might not happen in 6 months with a girl he has yet to date. (1) 15 year old kids who have never dated or (2), 30 year olds who have never dated. The point is not that I think this way. The point is that verbalizing these thoughts will lead girls to think this way.

It's a race for self improvement.

Thanks for all those that gave constructive advice. It helped me evaluate what I wanted to do.

We hung out last night and had a fun time. I just kept the night fun and casual and nothing more. We are going to hang out later this week as well. I really don't think its worth it to get involved with a girl who is leaving.