| Okay, so I consider myself somewhat of a comic and write a lot of jokes and stuff. And I just came up with this one routine that might help change to get into a more sexual frame while laughing and enjoying yourself. Now, I was thinking after you've opened, dhv stories, rapport, c&f, you could go into this:
(I think I'd start off with the "did you 90% of girls masturbate in the shower the others sing" routine just to warm them up.)
Do you know why men masturbate? It’s for our own safety really. Honestly, when I see my erection the very first thought that goes through my mind is, “Oh shit, don’t stab me, here just take my money.” I’ll throw money at it but he ain’t fucking around. And all of a sudden it’s life or death and it becomes like a UFC fight. “In one corner, we got Todd, he’s been practicing Penis Jujitsu since he was 13. He’s also very experienced with massages. And in our other corner we got the one armed boxer with some knock out power!” And then there’s this just intense stare down the between the two. Some taunting “Come on let’s go, lets go right now.” Then you look around, “is anybody home?” *Ding ding ding. Then it begins. 8 minutes go by, the commentaries are like, “Wow, you know for rematch 3035, this is pretty intense. Oh wow, look he’s got him in a triangle lock, watch how he uses his leg to sweep around to get a better position. Is he gonna tap? He’s not tapping, he’s not tapping, he’s not- oh Jesus he threw up again.” See, we do it for our own safety. There’s physical danger. For women it’s totally different the worst that happens with you is some emotional damage. You’ll walk to and open the refrigerator, see the cucumber and say, “It’s been 3 days! Why haven’t you called me?”
Then you could perhaps go into "what's the craziest thing a guys done to get your number question or whatever"
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CHAT