hey guys.

ok i certainly have my eye on someone (rach) but it's not quite as straight forward as that. i'll fill you in....

Background>>

i've known rach for about 10 months. She is 16 and appears to be relatively mature for her age. I'm 18. About 2 months ago, she started going out with my mate (aidan). Prior to this, my mate had something going on with another girl, but it didn't work out, so he opted for rach. To everyone, the relationship seemed like a shock, because nobody saw it coming. I think it's also fair to say that a lot of the time, rach and her bf are not overly close. Aidan doesn't feel wanted a lot of the time.

Now, i've helped rach out loads with aidan, i've offered her lots of advice when shes needed support and offered myself to help her out. About a month ago, I spoke to rach at a party, and got very emotional and yes very pissed. I told her, that I thought she was 'amazing' - my exact words. Her response was that she walked off with no words because her car had arrived and i did tell her to just turn around once i'd told her it..and so she did..

Time passed, and her and aidan are still together. Recently, aidan talked to me about how flirty i can be with rach and apparently he was concerned about me and rach because he had asked another mate of rach if he thought there was anything going on. I told him no.. They seem ok as far as i'm aware at the moment. Yet, at the same time, myself and rach i feel have gotten closer. We are much more friendly over msn at the moment. I think she feels comfortable around me. She calls me little names and I call her little nicknames back. i think im teasing her a little bit and am trying to remain a mysterious person. If im honest, i think she is fond of me - w/e that means to you. When i stop talking on msn for 5 mins, she sends a smiley or something, or at least questions if im alright..small things i know, but they count. what i find a bit intrueging is that she has told me a few times over the past 4 weeks or so, that she loves me. i have no idea whether this is just 'friend love' or something more. it might be friendship love..i just dont know. i just do know that we are pretty much best mates..this is a fact..and we are generally close. Going back to what i said to her at that party...she has even felt comfortable talking to me about it over the phone, yet she didn't offer her opinion on what i said...she just popped it up one time on the phone. She knows i have been hurt before badly from a girl..so maybe she is trying to not hurt me again?? :/ no idea.

Heres the good part >> her bf is going to leeds Uni in september, whereas im going to brighton (and will be able to visit home a lot of the time because its only 30 mins from my house), whereas aidan wont be home that often..probably every couple of months! this is, (i feel) my chance to act.

should i continue some negging with her? maybe not present myself fully to her over msn..yet rather try and make her contact me? (which she has done before).

from what your post states dude, you are deep in the friend zone! If she hasnt made a move on you yet and keep avoiding the subject of how you feel about her. you are in the friend zone. that love she has for you is as a friend. If she "loved" you the other way. you would have already had sex with her. I dont know what else to say at this point but that you are in a deep hole called "friendship" and the only way to get out of it is either get away for a long time and come back a diffrent man or just forget about her. All the flirtyness that she show is just a ploy on how good friend you can be and joke around about stuff like that.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f

thanks for your response man. although i should correct you when you say that she avoids how i feel about her..since she brought it up by herself on the phone, and she seemed comfortable doing so..yet didn't appear to offer an opinion on it or w/e..so yeh i guess your right on that part.

Other than that, i can understand what u say.

I just don't get it tbh. I've always been this way with women. I've always been friendly, kind etc, talked lots, thank fucking god i found this site

i just really dont know how to avoid this friendship thing.

and as far as this girl goes, i think im going to have a little go. she is on holiday starting today for a week, and up till now, for pretty much every day, i am presenting myself on numerous occasions to her..so she can talk to me..and she does willingly. So....I thought if i didn't go on msn chat or w/e, didnt text her or call her for a couple of weeks or even longer, I rekon she will come to me, infact I KNOW she will come to me.

I may not get a relationship out of this or w/e, but i think i will get the reward of me knowing that she misses me or something like that. I've tried this before with her best mate, and it worked..she came crawling back :p.

good plan?

would you want your mate trying to snake you like that? if your friendship with aiden means anything to you then you're pretty much betraying him. if it was some other guy you didnt know then it would be a different story...but your mate?

hey well tbh with you...he is sort of an ex mate to me in fairness. we've had some corrupt history and i think it is clear from me and him both that we no longer have the same relationship. He's turned his back on me before when i've needed him for help with w/e..women..when i've always been there for him. And other things. i wont spell it all out but if anything, if i ever end up with rach, i wont be overly guilty..because he is going to uni somewhere far away, whereas i am not..and i think they both agreed that if they found someone else..they'd call the relationship off.

well if you feel ok with it then fine. make very sure you guys arent friends though because after you get with Rach it will be down the drain anyway (if he really likes her).

cheers