Im at work on monday what do i do now??
please help!!

if im on my own with her i will go for it!

If you are sure she likes you and have put in some decent comfort, gotten rapport and tried some kino on her you can go for it.

Ok mate, i have a big problem!,
everything was going great until i text her last fri, isaid we should meet for a drink and said she owed me, but i said il meet you tomorrow night and she said 'maybe' i took this as a yes, but problem is i couldnt make it the next day, so i told her why, the text said this 'cant meet you later, my tennents have decided to stop paying me rent, so going to the letting agents to sort it' it was the truth, but maybe she thought i was bragging or something, anyway i decided to call her the day after to see if she wanted to come out, but she didnt answer i tried her phone twice,
So i got to work today and could tell something wasnt right, she was distent and seemed uncomfortable, so when we were on poolside i asid 'whats up with you today moody' i said 'is it because i stood you up?, and she just laughed, but i dont understand, i also said, 'i called you this weekend and she said yeh at 4am, which i never, so im guessing thats why shes acting weird, she maybe thinks im pestering her now, as she hasnt replied to my text i sent canceling our 'date', sounds like someone else is calling her and she thinks its me! as i only called her at 10am.

So what do i do now?
im guessing not to call or text her until i can build more comfort, i dont have much time now as shes going to uni soon, do i kiss her? im sure shes told everyone at work iv bin texting and calling her,

Should i set another 'date' with her, or is this the wrong way to go, or should i be ignoring her, or carry on as normal (which is what i have been doing), C+F.

So Kiss? date? Ignore? Text? Call?
What the hell have i done? have i blown it?, im trying to stay cool, but its p"ssed me off that all that hard work might have gone to waste, can i salvage this girl and get her?

What do you think?

Dave

Thing is: you assumed a lot. Unless there was a certain hour and place for the 'date' this was a dangerous thing to do. Don't act needy. Did you make it clear that you didn't call her at 4AM? (if not bust her on it).

Ignore her for a day or two if you have the time (if she really likes you she should be the one coming back).

Oh and you could after all just have asked her in person instead of calling or texting her too often.

You shouldn't care about what others think about it (are they better, kissing her ass and not getting anything in return).

Thanks man

I didnt make it that clear i didnt call her at 4am, i just said 'it wasnt me i called you at 10am', should i say something like 'so did you find out who called you at 4am?' or just leave it as it is?, im worried she might think it was me anyway (which it wasnt) so if im nervous when i ask her she will think it was me.


I did ask her in person about the drink meet but we never said an exact time, and then i canceled.
Worst part is i relise i should have waited till i saw her again, instead of calling her at the weekend.

She is acting abit strange around me which is making me abit nervous around her, im trying to mask it, but she knows i like her now.

Iv got about 2-4 shifts left with this girl, and IF we were to arrange another 'date' then i can only really do it face to face now as text and call is out of the question!,

I have my last shift tomorrow with her, and after that i wont see her for a week or so, do i wait till next week?

Should i go back to flirting with her like before, which she seemed to like?

Anyway shes back at uni soon, and everyone knows i like her now, so im not afraid to say anything to her, so should i set up another meet?

Im guessing i shouldnt try and kiss her if im on my own, until shes comfortable with me again?

I cant thank you enough for your posts 'prince obi'

Yep you're spot on (shouldn't have called so much) because it brought you in an akward situation.
Make it clear that you didn't call her at 4 AM (if she keeps thinking you called her at that time you're screwed because it displays neediness and creepiness). For the rest I think it's better if you leave it till next week. Depending on the attraction, comfort and rapport building you've done you'll see if it payed off.

-Then the next week, one of the last shifts you could remind her that she owes you some drinks (smile).

-Another option is asking her where the old her went. The one you had fun with and the one that had this great energy (something like this, depending on what you liked about her). Don't talk about her looks. If she reacts well you can transition into "hey, I'm still waiting for my drinks" (smile). (don't ask her if she wants to buy you some drinks cos she'll have the power)

Yeh i understand mate where i have gone wrong!!, im annoyed at myself for calling her, but you know how it is when you meet a women you like, im still learning!:)
The phone call like you said at 4am makes me look very bad and creepy, but when i called her at 10am my number will have come up!, but she must have had a 'number withheld' on her screen so maybe she thought it was me because i called her that morning!,

Anyway i havent text her or called her since then, and i will follow your advice and wait until my last shifts with her!!

My two questions are:

What if the person who called her at 4am keeps pestering her and she thinks its me?, then il be really screwed

And should i bring up the 4am call when im on shift, i know you said i should but she might think its abit weird me bringing it up out of the blue!, and she may have relised it wasnt me who called her bynow!, what should i do? mention it or not?

Also should i go back to flirting or just give her space so she comes back to me?

Im suposed to be looking at her student house which i set up before this mess started so i could bring that up on my last shift, or i could just say, 'dont forget you still owe me that drink

Thanks a million mate

UPDATE..........................

Ok she seems ok with me again now, i have very few shifts with her now though, but i will carry on C+F and acting alpha,

Right she owes me some money (because she has sponsored me for a charity event im doing) so this is one reason i can use for contacting her when i no longer see her! Good idea or not??

So what are my options now?, i was thinking of waiting until my last shift with her like you said prince obi, and tell her she still owes me some drinks!

Its worth the risk as far as i see it, whats the worst that can happen, everone knows i like her anyway!

Also i mentioned in previous posts that she said i could look at her house because she needs some shelves putting up or what ever, so that could be a good option, so i can isolate her!,

Which option would be best?

I cant belive i made such an AFC mistake, im just thinking i could be in bed with her right now if i hadnt acted needy!!!!!!!!!dam

I've been on a break

How did it go?

Yeah work on that attitude - the vibe I get is you're so "augh what do I do!" and it's a kind of fear...

If you say "why so moody" and she doesnt' reply, and then you say "hey I tried to call" and she only replies "yeah at 4am..." - this is really wierd, and if you don't respond appropriately, that is also wierd. You just said "it wasn't me, I called at 10am" and then just left it there, because you were AFRAID. If you were not afraid, you would have reacted appropriately, which would be something along the lines of; "What??? Who called you at 4am, did you take the call??" and "bloody hell, that wasn't me, that's for sure!" etc. etc.

Your attitude will affect all your decisions and interactions, and it is the key.

Ok guys, not sure when il see her again, been keeping things C+F but iv noticed iv been acting really different, like really confident and non needy. She smiles as soon as we make convo, but does seem abit p*ssed off at times not sure if its my attitude with her, the phone rang in the staff room and i said 'you get that' and she did, but she seems really relaxed one minute and really pissed the next!

I text her about a shift after work the other night and said 'hey faketan han (my nikname for her)are you doing a shift on 11th of oct..blah blah blah

Her:'Not sure dude, iv put in my diary check nearer time x'

Me (2hrs later):' You are an absolute nightmare dont know how any1 puts up with you lol, ok il leave it as is, but give me plenty of notice if you want me to cover it, im a busyman, just finshed work now

No reply as yet!, so what now? surly if she was into me she would be textin me all the time right? she does have a bf i think?

Ok so im not sure if we have any shifts together now!, But she owes me money for this charity event im doing, so how can i get her to meet me? also i said ages ago i would look at some shelves or something at her house for her, i could always mention that!?

What can i do now?

Also should i befriend her on facebook or is that needy!

Hard to say. But I can't forget the fact that she keeps being pissed off. If you react to this by trying to be positive, that will come off like you need to do it, AFC style. If she's actually pissed off at you, then if you start adding her on facebook, things like that, it's going to make her force a decision based on whatever is pissing her off, I feel.

If it's obvious to you (a guy) that she's pissed off, then it must be pretty obvious. So I'm inclined to want to bring it up. Friendly, but directly. "hey you seem a bit put out recently, what's up?"

Could be the 4am thing, I don't know.

Well maybe its not me thats p*ssing her off im not sure, it might be the job, she has said she coul never do the job (lifeguarding) full time as its boring etc..also shes having problems with her b.f think they will be splitting up!

The way i see i is im just carrying on same as before i dont want to act any different ad show that she has affected my confidence etc..(which she has abit, im working on this)

Ok i might not add her on facebook as this may come off as being needy etc...

But not sure what i can do now, maybe its to late!, but think shes booked in for more shifts so im going to keep plugging away.

I have one big question:

What is the diference between persistance and desperation? as iv heard alot of women like a guy to be persistant and chase them!, but i dont want to act deperate, HOW CAN I KEEP THE PRESSURE ON AND ATTRACT HER?

Cheers for all these replies

Well the difference between persistence and desperation in practice is something I'm working on myself, but the principal is your frame of mind. I have had small spurts of confident persistence that payed off real well, it felt like this; I know a fun time when I see it, you seem like we could have fun together, and I'm gonna show you how to have it no matter what's going on. But if it's getting pretty clear you're not gonna come along for the ride, that's cool babe, I'll find someone else pretty easy

I think i understand where you are coming from.
Ok so shes at uni now, BUT shes carrying on working part-time because uni isnt that far away, so i need a plan for when im working with her next, Should i carry on been C+F? should i ignore her or show im interested and pay her attention?

Also most of the people at work like me but i dont act alpha infront of the other males that much, but when there are women around i act alpha, and abit cocky, should i start acting alpha around everyone, so that peolpe dont see a change in me and let it slip to the women im acting different around them?