Hey guys. I've been going out with this girl for 2 months now and I am finally in love with her. A couple days ago we were having sex and as we were I decided to finally say "I love you". The problem is that idk if she heard me because I whispered it. Anyways, she didn't say it back. In addition, I am not sure that she heard me because right as I said, "I love you" she said, "not so loud" (referring to moving her bed) because her parents were in the room next door haha. Anyways now idk how to bring it up without being awkward about it.

Any advice?

Thank you

In this respect. The use of the phrase "I love you" should only be said when you feel it/mean it.

I say move along as things are. The next time you feel the urge to say it, then say it.

avoid saying it during or immediately after sex...

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Be free. In love there are not rules.
If you wish to express emotions. Do it.
The girl should answer your courtings.

I agree there are no rules in love, but I believe that is the case once you've reached a certain point where you've both declared your love and are well into the relationship (we're talking years).

In my opinion, especially for the beginning...the girl should generally tell you she loves you first and doesn't mean you should reciprocate it in that moment either if you don't genuinly mean it.

It's only 2 months into the relationship, however long you two may have liked each other before. By telling her this first, you're already giving up your alpha-male status too soon, thus wussifying a tad too soon. It's absolutley fine to tell a girl you love her, in fact it's one of the most amazing things, to not only feel it but to be able to tell her too but that's exactly why the timing is important.

Great things should be kept to a minimum to maintain it's greatness.

Point I'm trying to make is, stick by the attraction for now rather than giving into affection already. It's only been 2 months.

Also, tt's best to be quite direct about something like telling a girl you love her in the early stages. Whispering could indicate uncertainty and lack of guts to say it whilst looking her in the eye. Remember, girls can read us so much better.

I say carry on with the relationship as normal, still play hot n cold before you step into any type of commitment sectors. Let her tell you she loves you first, otherwise where's the fun for her if you've already declared your love so soon?

Why do you have to say that you love the girl !! Whats the whole deal with SAYING 'I love you' !! Dont bring it up and dont be all mushy about it. Its a good thing that she did not hear you..

Marc, there is NOTHING wrong with saying "I love you" to a girl. If you feel that way, then why not say it? Thats part of being a confident man is being willing to say something without worry of recourse.

Agreed. Nothing wrong in saying 'I Love You'. But most guys end up showing a needy side to the girl while they are confessing their love. If you can hold your frame than go for it though I wouldnt advise.

Besides, I dont believe in saying things but rather believe me showing and making my partner feel things. a rich man doesn't have to say that he is rich, a wise man doesnt have to say that he is wise, a kind man conveys his qualities through his deeds and like wise two people in love dont need to say it but make their partners feel loved and cared.

Your girlfriend could walk into the house after fucking another guy all evening and tell you 'I Love You Honey, Good Nite', hence I dont believe in words.

First of all, the "needy" side you speak of has nothing to do with saying "I love you". That's what comes from insecure guys who "pretend" to be confident to get girls. Therefore, once in a relationship their true colors show because the girl will actually get to know them for who they are.

Secondly, the concept of "Love" can't be truly shown through actions. When said to someone, its not about the words themselves but the tone of you voice. Words and speech are very powerful things when combined with the right tonality/emotion. Your analogy doesn't exactly work in the arena of love my friend. There's nothing you can do that expresses that feeling like saying it and meaning it.

Also, your idea that two people "in love" say it to make each other feel better. Your wrong there as well. Love is something to be shared. When you say it to someone else, you should be saying it because in that moment you feel it and you don't care whether or not they say it back. In the case, of two people who are "in love"; one says it because they feel it, and then the other feels it as well by the shared verbalization of their feelings.

Words mean everything when they are heartfelt and truthful.

jsquared I just got off a 3 yr relationship with my girlfriend and I agree with Marc that saying alone does not make any sense. I think you are wrong here to say that two people cannot express love for one another. When two people are in love they do a lot of things for each other and everything counts and matters.

I can tell from my experience that when my GF loved me she would do a lot of things that would indicate that she loved me. But before she started getting distant she would only say 'I love you' but never really did all those things for me.

jsquared your concept of love is wrong if you think that words have to be spoken. I also agree with Marc that saying 'I love you' doesnt hold very much value and anyone can cheat on their partner yet come back and say that they love each other.

The fact of the matter is, unless there is some known verbalized statement of love the girl will never know that how you actually feel. You can do all these fantastic things for her for a year, but if you never say the words she won't know if you do. I NEVER said that doing things for one another wasn't displays of love. There just needs to be a starting point.

Like I said before, part of being a confident person is being willing to say that and mean it.

I'll agree with the point that people say things and don't mean them. However, thats the point of PUA is to be the "exception" to the rule. When you say something to someone and mean it, thats a powerful thing.

Is loving a girl and telling her so a good thing? Yes.

Is showing her you love her by backing up your words with actions that reflect that sentiment also a good thing? Obviously.

The two concepts aren't mutually exclusive here, so I really don't see what there is to disagree about. Hell, do both. You love the girl. This should be second nature.

And when it comes to advice as it pertains to telling a girl you love her for the first time, I have only this to say:

1) If you say it, make sure you MEAN it. You shouldn't even be making a conscious effort to say it, it should bubble out of you like a fucking nuclear explosion inside your stomach that you can't contain.

and

2) Do NOT under any circumstances say it because you want to hear "I love you too," in return. If there was ever a time to give without asking anything in return, this is it.

Your boy,
870

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