I've been seeing this girl for close to five months now and things are fantastic. Basically for the five months things have been great and we haven't had any fights or other issues.

The thing is, neither one of us has been in any sort of relationship before and we're both mid-20's. She's a virgin and I have been many of her firsts.....actually all of them. While I'm not a virgin, I've never been with one before, let alone in a relationship and I'm not sure how to fully prepare for it on my side. She says there are things she wants to do first, in terms of preparation, which I understand and she, like all my friends, is amazed I've been so patient and understanding. We've done everything but.

My main question is about preparation, good ideas and bad ones. I want this to go smoothly more for her sake than my own. I'm leaving on a trip this fall and will be gone for over a month and there's a pressure to get it over with before I'm gone and we both don't know whether it's going to happen before or after.

Any help will be appreciated. Thanks guys.

There should not be any 'preperation' on her side really. The whole virgin thing is built up far to much. I will not deny that it is a special thing to loose ones virginity, especially in a girls mind, but it has to be approaced in a realistic romantic fashion, not a fantasy one. If shes done everything but 'penetration' with you, then you have had 'sex' really.

In terms of breaking down her nervousness of being completley bare with a guy for the first time, and actually experiencing this other world of sexual stuff which has opened up. In my experience a first time is that breaking down of the sexual barriers for the first time, even if you dont actually have 'sex'. Therefore if you've already broke them down through foreplay and no actual 'sex' then in a sense all the preperation is there pshycologically.

My advice regarding how to approach it would be in a gentle way. I know alot of guys on here would say dont be a wuss and maybe get the job done through manipulating her feelings etc, but fuck it lol!!, be the biggest gentleman there is too her, light some candles, be sweet to her, and make it the best first time she will ever have, and she will always remember you for it. And if you end up growing old together then you can always look back on how 'awesome and romantic' your first time was.

Sex can be romantic MOST of the time, you just have to make it that way. So i reccomend you watch how Brad Pitt first looses his virginity in the movie Meet Joe Black haha, i swear if you get the setting and mood right and play the music in that scene on your ipod speakers during it, it has the potential to be the best hollywood sex ever haha. So my advice would be to not rush it, dont be forced to do it before you go away on your trip. If you guys have waited so long anyway, why not do it when you can choose and there is no preasure.

Anyway, thats my two cents!!

Alpha Epsilon

_________________
" Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live. "

- Might is Right

It's obviously quite a big step for her so you have to ease it in and take it easy on her so to speak. Dude make it special

Thanks Alpha, that's pretty much how I'm going to take it, like Abdul said, make it special. The candles are an idea I can't believe I thought of myself, haha, but yeah, I have an excellent day planned from beginning to end, I just hope the weather is on my side, and perhaps by then end of the day it'll happen, if not it will still be a great day.