just realizie that noone gives a f**k, i had people rejecting me because i had too much anxiety. if someone rejects you - you dont die - it doesnt cost you anything - and certainly i think you care more then the girl.

i was rejected by people and 2 months later i got along with them i even dated one.

approach axiety comes when you start caring, 3 second rules exist so you approach before you start caring.
believe me every pick up artist has AA even the best, you need some routine - routine is your personal plan against AA and failure.
think of the british SAS special forces motto : the one who dares wins.
there is nothing to be afraid about, approaching isn't that much a deal as long as you steer it into a good conversation woman will think its cool.
if a approach or conversation turns sour just end it.

I long time ago i lost my (ex)girlfriend and our kid , i had a huge social problem and couldnt communicate normally with people my self esteem was so low.
one day i walked into a shop and talked to 2 hot blonde girls i had very much axiety and low self esteem so i started a conversation and they were actually continue ing the conversation, the only thing i want to do was leave but somehow i got rational and remember my routine i saw 1 girl adopted my body posture and she kept giving eye contact - in other words they were enjoying the conversation.

i kept fidgeting alot , i made some moves that make me appear very shy etc in other words i showed my low self esteem and exiety. But i steered the conversation into good topics and make some jokes.

it was a massive fuck up but somehow they thought im a cool guy, they didnt thought anything negative about me and certainly didn't expressed it.

o yeah btw

how woman judge
50 % body posture and approach
20 % is eye contact
15 % is gesturing
10 % is how much you talk
5 % is actually what you say

what you say isn't actually that important sometimes you will be surprised that people are answering shitty questions

Hey arc. You're definitely not alone man! And yes it does seem to extend from childhood...to this day I still can't be outgoing with my parents around...they brought me up telling me to be brave but never giving me the chance...I've been insulted about my personality (I eventually became so introverted I kept solely to myself) for most of my life...even my mother insulted me...but what I realised after a while is that what other people think about us does not matter...If a guy stumbles out of a bar I might think hey he's an alcoholic...and I might think about it for a little while but then who cares? And even if for some reason a mental picture of him is burnt into my mind and I see him the next week coming out of an AA meeting looking happy then I'll think "hey it's good that he's turned his life around!"
It comes down to that...people don't care about others...they don't think about people they don't care about and if you just met someone they may not care for you yet unless you did really well lol...and if by some strange possibility you messing up is stuck in their minds then by seeing you push yourself to improve will create a newfound respect for you in them.
I got over most of my problem by just trying to talk to people whether it be the cashier or someone standing next to you waiting for a taxi it does not matter. Simply opening up and talking helps. I know the feeling of being worried about your body being awkward...try not to think about it...you feel that way because you inner game is weak...a lot of puas underestimate the power of inner game...it makes you sure of yourself and comfortable in your own skin. I've been trying to build my inner game and I've taken it to the point where I'm still a little worried about some stuff but I'm pretty happy with myself. Yeah I still feel nervous sometimes when talking to people but I just keep approaching and opening and remember to Smile and forget the outcome...If they're rude f**k it just say it was a pleasure to meet them with a smile and walk away (that's one of the best pieces of advice style gave).
Hang in there and keep working at it!

_________________
Fox

Regardless of what people say, until you change how you believe, the best advice in the world will do nothing for you. A negative outlook will produce negative results. If you believe negatively you will see negatively. The largest problem is when people are negative and critical of themselves, because if they believe they are a certain way, who could tell them otherwise.

I will bet my life, that if you became confident with yourself, you would realize that you don't need women to make yourself happy. When this level is reached, you will see an increase in social interaction. You can listen to every person in this thread, but until you remove the root of the issue, you will expect results and see none, leaving you in even more despair.

There are many methods to removing the negative issues that plague our minds. If you want help with it, ask and i will offer it, but only if you first ask.

_________________
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

Arc, the feelings you feel during a social situation is pretty much EXACTLY how I feel. Its great to hear that I'm not alone.

I'm certain that my social shyness stemmed from my childhood. Growing up in an Asian family, I was taught to always behave and be nice, or else I would be beaten. Sometimes I would get beat for reasons I did not know. This scared being in socially outgoing cuz I didn't want to be chastised by my parents. Til this day, the scars from my parents abuse are still evident. In middle school, I got picked on for being super shy and having little friends, so I had an impression that people were naturally mean. I grew up with many insecurities. I thought I was worthless

Now, when I'm in a social situation with people I do not know, I get intense social anxiety. However, I realized that what my parents and middle had me believe was complete bullshit. So I decided to socially punish myself by forcing myself to interact with people, and to my surprise, I get positive responses. Most people were nice and willing to keep a conversation going, even if I make it a little awkward. I am a lot better at interacting with people, but I still have the shit feelings I had when I was growing up. The only way I improve is if I continue to push myself in social environments.